Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic
by deadlydaisy8o8
Summary: Due to unfortunate circumstance. Batman has landed right in the Great Hall at the Beginning of third year, and somehow acquired an undesired and unwanted magical ability in the process. Until he can find his way home and be rid of his new ability, he'll have to deal with the Wizarding World and all the quirks that come with it.
1. Chapter 1

AN:/ Hey, this is something I've been playing with for a while. I haven't really seen anything in this category quite like this, so I was interested to see what the reaction would be. I don't know. I only have about half of the second chapter done, so if the reaction to this is good i dont' know when I'll be updating next. yeah, this is just a tester I guess. To see how you all like it. Review and let me know what you think.

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**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter One

by: deadlydaisy8o8

Originally Uploaded: Monday, December 24, 2012, 4:12PM

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"Flash, if you do not move away from the zeta beam in the next nanosecond…" there was a _schip _as Wally moved to the other side of the room. Though he still complained.

"Oh come on Bats. I can help. At least let me hand you a wrench or something." Batman grunted.

Unfortunately for Wally he did not speak 'Bat'. The intricacies of glares and grunts were completely lost on him. So he did not understand that had just been explicitly told to approach at his own peril. Peering over Bat's shoulder from across the room Wally heard Batman grumbling about something and watched his hand emerged from the hole the upper half of his body was hidden in. Batman felt around for the correct tool he needed without pulling himself out. Wally jumped on the opportunity to help. He zipped up to the zeta platform that Batman was currently working in, fixing a glitch in the cooling mechanisms so that the transporter didn't overheat and explode.

When Flash zipped over to Batman several things happened. Flash reached down towards where Batman was grabbing for a wrench and in his haste, knocked several of the tools down into the hole Batman was working in. As Batman growled and started to pull himself up out of the hatch to scold the speedster, his hand was caught in a tangle of loose wires he had been rerouting. In Wally's haste to get back and avoid Batman's wrath, he inadvertently caught on Batman's cape and before he could stop he ended up pulling Batman back into the hatch and into the machine he had been working on. Catching himself on the machine, the hand that was tangled in the loose wires ended up being placed on the highly conductive metal tools that had previously fallen into the hatch. And thus the connection was made that put the next series of events into motion.

There was a surge of electricity and a roar as the machine was forced to power up much faster than it should. With a bright flash of light Batman was gone.

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Batman kept silent at the unpleasant feeling of his molecules being disassembled and reassembled several times in succession. He silently cursed Wallace West while he focused on using his conscious mind to make sure he did not come out the other end face first.

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Dumbledore had just opened his arms to start the welcoming feast when there was a crack like thunder and a slowly growing ball of intense light that appeared before the podium some fifteen feet above the floor. Immediately everyone had their hands on their wands and were ready to cast what was necessary at the intruding foe. With a second thunder like crack of noise, a dark shape fell out of the light to the floor before it simply winked out of existence.

The wizards in the room were forced to blink several times before they could see exactly what had come out of the portal. What they found was a man in a black cloak wearing a cowl that covered his face, with protruding horns. The man's appearance did not sooth anyone's nerves and they all continued to point their wands at the new appearance, waiting to see what Dumbledore would do.

Batman landed on a stone floor with restrained grace. He allowed himself to fall into a crouch to absorb some of the impact. He was already taking stock of his surroundings as the light above him disappeared. He was in a large rectangular hall. There did not appear to be a ceiling, but the illusion was not lost on Batman, who easily traced rafters up into the open sky. He had seen the parlor trick before on missions off world. Batman estimated that there were about five hundred to six hundred people present in the hall; all currently pointing sticks at him in a way that he could deduce that they were not simply sticks. A majority of those people teenagers and children. A quick glance identified the man at the podium as the man in charge.

Not knowing the circumstance or the odds of the 'weapons' in his adversaries' hands he stood motionless, and waited for the other to attack or stand down. He turned only his head to look to the old man at the podium.

Dumbledore looked at the man for a long moment. He attempted to look into the man's eyes to read his intentions, but found that the white pits were not the man's actual eyes, but a part of the mask. When the man made no move Dumbledore slowly lowered his wand, though none of those around him did. "Why hello there, and welcome to Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry. How might we assist you?"

Batman let out a mental groan that was so loud it was almost audible. It just had to be an alternate universe with _magic._ On the outside Batman remained emotionless, but his patience was already wearing thin. "You can start by lowering your weapons. I do not intend to attack, but I will defend myself with necessary force." A twinkle appeared in the old man's eyes and Batman did not like it. He would go as far as to say that he hated it.

Dumbledore smiled benignly and opened his arms after sheathing his own wand. "Of course, of course. No one here wishes to participate in conflict where it is avoidable. You simply gave us all quite a start. Unfortunately it seems you have dropped in just as we were about to partake in the Welcoming Feast. But it is of no consequence. I don't see a reason that the rest of the students cannot enjoy the fare while we have our discussions." Looking over Batman to the rest of the hall Dumbledore spoke. "Dig in everyone. I don't believe this little intermission is anything to worry over. Severus, if you would accompany me and this young man here to my office."

Dumbledore smiled benignly as he stepped from around the podium and moved towards Batman who was still standing in the middle of the hall. Batman noticed from behind the emotionless white pits of his mask that as soon as Dumbledore had started moving a man with dark lank hair in approximately his mid forties moved quickly around the table to catch up with the old man.

Dumbledore paused when he made level with Batman, who still concealed himself in his cape not allowing anyone to see his person, and waited a second for 'Severus' to join them before Dumbledore motioned with his hands to follow. Batman did not acknowledge the gesture outside of falling behind the old man when he started to move. He tensed slightly when the younger man fell into step behind him.

Batman was not at all happy with where he had landed. But he knew that if he wanted to get out and get back with little hassle he would have to cooperate with these people, unless they happened to be doing anything that he was morally obligated to put a stop to. It was in his best interest to go along with their demands until he knew what his situation was.

He could tell, by the old man's body posture that he was refraining from small talk, against his natural inclination. Batman was silently thankful as it allowed him to pay more attention to his surroundings as they moved. Small things caught the Batman's notice as he walked through the halls. The twitches of the suits of armor, the subjects of the portraits they passed moved and talked, communicating with each other. The staircases they passed shifted like an elaborate brainteaser. There seemed to be no electrical lighting, or anything that required modern technology. A glimpse out of a window allowed him to make the assumption that they were approximately two stories off of the ground, and that at least one side of the structure he was in was flanked by a forest. They were in a temperate climate that supported those types of trees, and that the season was closer to summer than winter, as there was no sign of snow or cold weather.

Silently the small parade came to a stop before a stone gargoyle. Batman was not at all surprised when the stone figure leapt aside at the correct password. The lone gargoyle in the middle of a hallway had all the makings of a secret entrance, and Batman was rather familiar with them. This one was very cliché and not at all impressive. Neither did he hesitate to follow the elder wizard onto the revolving staircase.

Batman's eyes did widen slightly at the sight of a phoenix resting on a perch beside the desk in the middle of the room, though no one was able to tell because Batman's eyes were hidden behind his mask. Dumbledore gestured as he moved into the office with we rehearsed steps, confirming that the office was indeed his, and that he spent a lot of time in this room. Severus, who had been hounding Batman's steps since the exited the great hall, waved his stick over the door several times while muttering under his breath before he turned to face into the room, keeping his post at the door.

"Well now that we are in a safe environment to discuss such things. If you would care to inform us of who you are and where you come from, we might be able to see what we can do for you." Batman watched as the old man lowered himself into the chair behind the desk and his eyes glinted excessively in the candlelight, a slight welcoming grin on his face. Batman narrowed his eyes, not trusting the expression. He ignored Dumbledore's question and asked his own.

"What is todays date?" he had already guessed that they were somewhere on the European continent, most likely somewhere in Scandinavia based on the accents he had been exposed to by the gossiping students, Albus Dumbledore, and the mumbling portraits. Batman ignored the blatant sneer from behind him and looked to the old man who was smiling patiently at him as he replied.

"Today would be September first of 1993." Batman did not acknowledge the answer before he started to speak.

"The most probable explanation is that when the zeta transporter I was repairing malfunctioned I was transported to another dimension than my own. If time here operates on the same schedule that my own does I am also in the past. In my own dimension it will be February twelfth of 2010. I mean no harm to you or anyone else. However I understand that precautions are necessary. All I request is safe passage and access to the materials required to start making my way back to my own world." Again Batman could see that the glint in the old man's eye was much brighter than it had any business being and he knew that what the old man would say would not be honest or straightforward.

"Of course of course. If there is anything that we can do to-"

"Headmaster you cannot seriously be considering that this ridiculous inconsiderate costume is telling the truth. He has yet to identify himself or even show his face! Surely you will not allow him to simply walk away!" Batman then knew what the glimmer in the old man's eye indicated. He was a manipulator. Batman knew that the old man had no intention of letting him simply walk away without an explanation, but he did not want to sacrifice his image of doddering old man in an interrogation, so he had brought one of the more abrasive characters under his employ to do the interrogating for him. Batman's eyes narrowed beneath the cowl. He would have to keep a very close eye on the man. But he allowed the games for now. It wouldn't be beneficial to reveal that he was onto the man's game so early on. Dumbledore replied calmly to the irritated accusation.

"Now Severus, this man has done nothing to indicate that he would be a threat. I see no reason to be so agitated." The old man paused before he turned to Batman again, "However in the interest of good manners I would like to ask for a name, and perhaps a removal of the mask."

At this Batman faced the old man in the desk and glared. "My alias in this guise is Batman, the cowl will remain for the duration of my stay. I will not compromise this information."

Batman knew the man, Severus, was moving behind him to draw a weapon before he reacted. Having outdrawn gunmen in upwards of fifteen years now he had developed almost a sixth sense about what was behind him. Before the man behind him had even his arm fully extended Batman had whipped around and had a batarang screaming through the air to disarm the man. His weapon dropped to the floor and in the next second Batman was on top of the lanky haired man, pushing his stomach into the floor with a knee on his back, twisting his arm up behind him.

Batman growled menacingly into the man's ear. "From this position there are five different ways for me to break your shoulder, three that will allow me to dislocate it. Attack me again and I'll show you all eight." Before Batman let go of the man on the ground he shifted his grip and picked up the wand that had rolled a short distance away and put it in the back of his belt. He then stood up gracefully off the man's back. Severus scrambled to his feet, wincing when he put pressure on the arm that had been twisted behind his back. His face was red and a scowl was on his face.

"Headmaster! Clearly this behavior is unaccepta-"

The man stopped when he realized that the old man in the chair wasn't moving, at least only enough to breathe, otherwise he was completely motionless, as if someone had decided to hit pause. Severus turned to look at Batman and then back to Dumbledore before he let out a scoff of stress and exasperation.

"Unbelievable, an adult with accidental magic." Silently Severus stuck his hand out to receive something from Batman. Batman quirked an eyebrow under his cowl at the petulant gesture. Snape rolled his eyes becoming increasingly anxious and impatient, "Unless you wish the Headmaster to remain permanently incapacitated I suggest you allow me my wand so that I might be able to fix your little outburst." Batman considered the man before him for a moment, looking briefly to Dumbledore in the chair out of the corner of his eye before he deliberately handed the man his 'wand'. Once the man was in possession of his wand he didn't hesitate to turn it on Dumbledore and speak a clear and enunciated '_Finite Incantatem_'. And like someone had decided to hit play the headmaster started moving. Immediately a smile bloomed under his long whiskers, and the glimmer that seemed ever present in his eyes increased exponentially.

"What a splendid display! Tell me, Batman was it, has this sort of thing happened to you often? Have you been trained in your magical talents in you dimension?" Batman stared at the old man behind the desk and spoke in a voice that was so dry it made most camels thirsty.

"I do not posses any _magical _talents." Batman could not hold back a frown when that glimmer in the old man's eye became nearly blinding.

"Oh but I'm afraid you do! At least in this dimension you have the gift. I am nearly positive after this most recent display, but if you require further proof you need only to wave a wand for further confirmation." Batman only stared and watched, as Dumbledore almost seemed to be repressing giggles. Dumbledore continued to speak when he saw that neither Batman nor Snape were going to say anything. "A wand will only react in a magical persons hand, so if you handle the wand and nothing happens, then you would prove that I would be mistaken. Severus, if you would loan your wand once more?" Severus only hesitated for a moment before he obeyed the command and presented his wand to Batman handle first. Batman merely stared at the long thin piece of wood for a moment before he looked back to Dumbledore and told him with finality.

"I _do not_, have magic." Batman's frown descended into a grimace as the old man figuratively lit up at his denial.

"Then you will have no problem proving yourself right and taking the wand. If you are so sure then nothing will happen when you give it a wave. Go on." Dumbledore shooed Batman at the wand and now Batman did growl ever so lightly before he looked back to the wand and the man holding it, who now had is eyebrow raised challengingly. Batman sneered before he snatched the wand out the man's hand faster than he could process and gave it a small flick. Immediately all of the lights in the office went out.

Dumbledore started clapping and absently waved his hand to relight the candles before he started speaking. Severus was now smirking as Batman shoved the stick back into his hands. Before Dumbledore or Severus could say anything Batman was growling out his excuses.

"The fact that my molecules were assembled in the midst of an environment clearly saturated with magic and that my transport here was accidental are the most likely causes for this manifestation. I possessed no exceptional _magical _ability prior to my arrival. My inexperience in the area is no fault of my own. It however does not change the fact that I need to return to my own dimension as soon as possible. It is likely that my transportation home will solve the problem. I do not see the relevance of this discovery." Batman nearly snarled as he watched the man who had been up until this point tense and wary in his presence; sink into a nearby armchair with an amused air. The old man was nearly humming as he acknowledged Batman's points.

"True true. However I would irresponsible as a chief warlock and Headmaster of the this institution if I allowed someone to go about without the proper means to control themselves, not to mention I would be breaking the law. I can assure you that we will do everything in our power to help you on your way home but in the mean time, I think it is imperative that you stay here and at least develop a rudimentary grasp on your newfound ability. You never know, the knowledge might come in handy, and unfortunately neither of us know how long it will be until you are able to find your way home."

After Dumbledore spoke it was silent for an uncomfortable amount of time as Batman thought over what had been proposed.

As the world's greatest detective, he forced himself to look at this situation objectively. Realistically, he did not have any contacts in this world. Any resources he would need to acquire to build zeta tube to take him home, _if_ he could replicate the beam that had taken him here, he would have to steal or scavenge. He had no idea of what this world was like, or what social norms were acceptable. If given time he would be able to blend in, but he would not be able to do so immediately, and that would likely get him into trouble. The resources being offered to him here were more than he would have if he chose to strike out on his own. In addition, if the mishap with freezing the old man had been any indication, he did not have any control over this…_magic_ that he had somehow acquired, and it would be imperative to learn to harness it before he hurt someone else or himself.

If Batman were being logical about it, his best option would be to agree to this man's terms and see where that got him. His best shot at returning home would mostly likely to be to rely on the leagues realizing he was gone and waiting for an intervention from Doctor Fate to transport him back home. Wally had been present when the accident had happened so that was likely to be the outcome. However he did not know how long the time discrepancies would be before he returned. He could remain here for years, only to return to his own dimension as if no time had passed. In that case it would be in his best interest to gain himself an in, and learn to blend in to the best of his ability with his new environment.

It had been several tense moments but Batman finally spoke. "Fine. It is in my best interests to accept your offer. However if circumstances should change I resign the right to leave when I see necessary." Dumbledore leaned forward slightly as he steepeled his fingers in front of his grinning lips.

"Of course, but I truly don't think such measures will be necessary. I'm confidant you will feel right at home, as we will all try our best to make you feel welcome. Now that we have a plan of action I think it would be most prudent that we get you settled in one of the four houses and we can address things such as supplies and determining which courses you should attend tomorrow." With that Dumbledore stood and moved to a shelf on the side wall and gently picked up an old worn hat that looked to Batman like it was in the process of slowly decaying, the leather rim was stiff and shinny from coming tonto contact with so many greasy heads. It was only when the old man went to place the hat on Batman's head that Batman took a step back for Dumbledore's every step forward. Dumbledore smiled benignly at Batman, like he was explaining something to a frightened child as he spoke.

"Oh please pardon me, I don't suppose you would know what this is. This is the sorting hat. It has been in used at this school to sort our students into the houses of the four founders in their steed for hundreds of years. It will simply look into your mind and determine where you are best suited to stay based on your personality. It will only be a moment but we will need to assign you a house so that we can assign you a proper room and a house head to look out for you. We do want you to feel at home here, and a part of belonging is being sorted into a house. It's only fitting, I think, that as you will be learning here, you should have the opportunity to have the entire experience, even if you are a bit older than we are used to." Dumbledore took another step forwards, only for Batman to take another step back. Batman glared as he addressed the old man, still holding out the hat.

"I refuse to have my privacy breached. You may place me wherever you have room. I will not require a babysitter or a caretaker; I am able to take care of myself. I am sure that I will manage wherever you decide." Batman's gaze snapped downward to the hat in Dumbledore's hands as it started to shift. The rip in the brim opened up as it shouted suddenly.

"SLYTHERIN!" Dumbledore turned the hat around in his hand to look at it as he spoke to it. While Severus looked surprised, then switched to brooding in the corner.

"Are you quite sure? How can you be positive if you've not seen who he is?" The hat grumbled as it slowly situated itself over Dumbledore's hands.

"Oh its quite obvious where he belongs. I have been doing this job longer than you were a thought in your parent's minds. Sometimes I do not need to see to know." The hat slumped as it twisted back to face Batman. "Besides, I do not think house labels will do much for this one. Now let me get some rest Albus. It is hard work sorting through the minds of over a hundred eleven year olds." Dumbledore seemed crest fallen and he held the hat in his hands he tried to argue.

"But surely-" But the hat was already asleep, a very light flapping noise emitting from the brim as if it were some sort of snore. Dumbledore signed before he replaced the hat on the shelf. His voice was genuinely disappointed as he moved back to his desk.

"A shame that you have elected not to be a part of the tradition. However the hat did chose for you, and though its method was unorthodox, I think we ought to abide by it." The old man swept his beard to the side before he sat down and looked over to the disgruntled man in the corner. "Severus I do believe it will be up to you to find a place for our Mister Batman in the dungeons. If I am not mistaken there is a spare guest room a small ways from your chambers. _I _would prefer that he found a space in the seventh year dorms so that he might be able to get to know his house, but I don't believe anyone would be amenable to that plan. The spare rooms will have to do. However I do request that Batman be allowed to be present for your little welcoming speech in the dorms. I do believe that the students will be heading down in about a half an hour or so. Just enough time to show him where he is going to stay and then make it to the common room, I think." Severus grumbled as he raised himself from the chair he had been sitting in and replied to the Headmaster.

"Very well. However I refuse to be the babysitter of a grown man. I will not be responsible for his wellbeing. I have enough to worry about without having to keep track of a lunatic in a bat costume." Dumbledore frowned as Severus moved to the door.

"Please Severus. I am not asking much of you. Only to be hospitable to an unexpected guest. I don't think that he will be much trouble." Dumbledore had then turned to Batman who was still keeping up his poker face, even as the two men talked about him while he was in the room. "I will arrange for you to take a trip with Hagrid, a dear friend of mine, to retrieve your supplies. I do not doubt your ability to purchase a list of items on your own, but I believe a guide might be of use to you in the unfamiliar environment. To someone who has never encountered our world, it can be overwhelming. I will see you at 7:30 for breakfast then. Have a good night, the both of you." Severus sneered as he strode over to the door, not looking back to make sure that Batman was following. This was just as well because Batman too moved without a whisper to the door to follow.

It was a silent and tense walk down to the Dungeons. Once again Batman was spending the time memorizing the route and observing the significance of his surroundings. He knew he would spend more time later identifying the paintings and taking stock of the surroundings. The statues, the suits of armor, and the sweeping staircases. Eventually the hallways got darker as the space between the torches that lined them got larger. The portraits on the walls had been whispering furiously up until this point, but it was only now that there was one that spoke directly to them instead of simply watching.

"A guest, Severus?" Severus stopped abruptly before a large life size portrait of a thin man with a bald head and what Dick had once lovingly dubbed, 'a villain mustache'. His hair was white and his eyes a vibrant green. His robes were long and black, his hands shocks of white against the material. But most noticeable about the portrait was the presence of a large python around the mans shoulders and waist. Batman sunk unconsciously into the shadows when they stopped moving. The deep shadows offering an easy hiding place. Severus tuned and bowed respectfully to the portrait before he spoke.

"In a manner of speaking." Severus paused as he looked back to where he could just see Batman in the shadow as he introduced the two. "Salazar Slytherin, this _illustrious_ gentleman calls himself Batman." Severus turned back to the portrait as he continued to speak. "He appeared in the Great Hall in a blinding flash of light. He claims to have appeared from a separate dimension. The Headmaster has deemed him sufficiently interrogated and believes him to be safe. It has been discovered that he possesses a previously unknown magical ability. He was then sorted into your house. As such it is now my responsibility to find a place for him." Batman watched the man in the portrait for his reaction. He seemed to know exactly where Batman was and stared at him for a silent moment over Severus' shoulder, absently stroking the head of the python around his neck before a small mischievous smirk appeared on his face.

"Well I certainly look forward to seeing more of you, 'Batman'. Do feel free to stop by. Severus, I know you will serve my name well. I will let the both of you return to your tasks. Good night gentleman." The man then walked out of the portrait, to some unknown destination.

Severus turned with a flourish and continued to walk down the dark hallway before he stopped by another life-sized portrait; this one was of a strict looking woman. She was thin and lanky. Her knees were knobby and exposed as she sat in an overlarge throne, a long silk gown flowing around her legs and hips. The neck of the dress stood all the way up to her jawbone. Her face was hallowed and long, her eyes were sunken in and made up with large amounts of black eye makeup. Her black hair was tied up tightly in an overly elaborate bun. She wore simple black heels, her nails also painted black. A crow cawed as it perched on the back of her chair.

"Hello Professor. What brings you this far down the hallway? Surely its not to simply indulge a lonely old thing like me." She recrossed her legs slowly and deliberately as she stared down at Severus through half lidded eyes. Severus sneered lightly as he spoke to the portrait.

"I have use of the guest chambers Lady Belladonna. If you would allow me access so that I might show him to them and allow him to reset the password, it would be greatly appreciated. He will be staying for an undetermined amount of time." The woman in the portrait opened her mouth to speak, about to ask where the guest was when Batman stepped out of the shadows, answering the portraits unasked question. The woman's eyes widened before they settled back to their half lidded gaze, a flirtatious grin on her lips.

"How very exciting I haven't had the pleasure of a guest in ages. What is your name young man?" Batman aimed his white pitiless stare at the portrait and he spoke.

"Batman." The portrait let out a long hum resembling some sort of laugh before she leaned downward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands, and continued to speak to Batman.

"And what would you like your password to be? I promise I won't tell a soul; I am _excellent_ at keeping secrets. Well from everyone besides Severus of course. But I am the entrance to his guest quarters, so I am required to let him know." Batman tiled his head downward and to the side to glance at the black haired professor to see him smirking. Batman lightly glared at the man before he turned back to the portrait and spoke in a clear voice.

"Nine, one, nine, three, nine, two, one, eight, two, one, three, five, two, three, one, two, five, one, four, five."

The portrait raised an thin eyebrow at Batman "I'll be holding you to your word darling." Then the portrait swung open and the light went on in the room. Batman turned back to the professor when he started to speak.

"The start of term speech that the Headmaster is referring to is a speech I give every year to my new and returning students to set their boundaries and remind them of what proper behaviors consist of. I will request your presence in the Common room in twenty minutes. The password is wolfsbane." The man then turned his back without saying goodbye and walked back down the hallway he had come from.

Batman watched him go for no longer than a moment before he stepped over the threshold of the entrance to his rooms and started his examination.

The rooms were decorated a Spartan black and green. Any wears or fixtures such as handles and the hanging candelabra, a simple undecorated silver. There was a large fireplace with blackened stones where a roaring fire was already burning. This alone was enough to let Batman know that it was not safe to let his guard down in this space. If the fire was going it was entirely possible that someone had access to his room to do the housekeeping, and he would need to be aware of them and figure out a way around them.

There were several portraits that greeted him when he stepped into the room, he ignored them and he received several comments about his rude behavior from said portraits. He made a mental note to move all of them into a secure space, or out of his room so he would not have to worry about their seeing or hearing anything to tell anyone else.

There was a large desk against the far wall, flanked with bookcases that were sagging under the weight of their contents. The desk was stocked with inkpots and quills. Batman assumed that in this world they used calligraphy. He had also seen the instruments in Dumbledore's office, but had supposed those were for decoration and special occasions. The presence of the implements in his room disproved this theory. It was no matter. He had been made to learn calligraphy in some of his studies abroad.

Batman moved cautiously through the small living space and over towards a door opposite of the room, which currently stood open. Cautiously stepping through the door, he advanced in further to examine it when nothing happened upon his entrance.

The bedroom was a dark sage green; through the bed was a stark white, with accents of black in the pillows and the comforter. It was a four-poster queen, flanked by two antique nightstands. There was a wardrobe for a collection of clothes. There was a bathroom off to the right of the bed; it was decorated much the same way as the rest of the suite, in back, white, green, and silver.

Batman was satisfied for now, with the safety of his rooms. He had ruled out any immediate danger, however he would be doing a more thorough investigation of the living space when he did not have an appointment to keep. Batman exited the rooms and moved confidently towards the sounds of small children as he maneuvered the dark hallway.

Batman easily found where all of the children where filing in through a hole in a brick wall. It was a simple thing to conceal himself until the last of the students had gone through, and then slide in himself before the wall was about to slide into place. The students were all distracted by their gossip and looking around the new room to notice that Batman had found a nice dark corner to hide in beside a towering bookcase and a window, which appeared to look out into the depths of a body of water.

Batman watched as the older students herded the new and younger students to sit before the large fireplace in a stadium arrangement. He listened with some amusement at the gossip of the young ones as they waited for their head of house to arrive. Most loudly declaring what he thought was a blonde boy who had been called Draco Malfoy by the surrounding listeners. He seemed about twelve or thirteen. He held most of the room attention.

"My father will definitely be hearing about this. For the headmaster to just invite something unknown so casually into the castle. None of us know what he is, or what his intentions are. He is obviously dangerous. Who knows what the thing was capable of? Oh yes my father will be sure to take this through _the proper_ channels. Who's ever heard of a man with horns appearing form a flash of light." As Draco rambled Batman glanced several things. One that the boy was well cared for. He spoke as if he were used to being the center of attention and getting what he wanted. Bruce knew the tone and posture from listening to it endlessly in Bruce Wayne's social circles. Secondly was that the boy's father was working for someone. Batman knew how to pick out language that indicated someone was an informant or had connections that they shouldn't. This boy's father was obviously using him to keep a pair of eyes in the school so that he could report to his boss about what was going on. Why that would be necessary, he didn't know. What he did know was that he did not like men who used their sons as spies and lookouts.

Batman was drawn from his thoughts as a hush fell over the room. The fire in the hearth turned a bright shade of green and Severus stepped out into the space the students had left for him. He only waited long enough to send a glance around the room. "Good evening, and for those of you that are new, welcome to Slytherin. I will tell you immediately that this house is nothing to be ashamed of. If people have told you we are evil, that we are worthless and lesser because of our house, then they are wrong. Being Slytherin is not about being dark or light, it is about doing whatever you have to do to succeed. As a Slytherin you are expected to stand behind your fellow Slytherin's. This is not up for debate. The rest of you will see enough conflict when you come into contact with other houses, you do not need to have it between yourselves. Any and all inter-house conflict will be handled here in the Common Room.

My door is of course, always open. You may come to me with any problem and I will do my best to assist you. You are the only House to enjoy this luxury with me, do not abuse it.

Tomorrow and every day after you will be required to be seen at all meals, unless you are injured or have permission to be elsewhere. A mandatory check up will be required for all first-years by the end of the month. I expect you all to preform to the greatest of your academic ability and to respect all of your professors. If you do not, in addition to whatever punishment you serve for your disrespect, you will also serve a punishment with me. This will include any and all punishments set regarding standard detentions.

I will expect you to represent yourself and your house with respect at all times. I am trusting that you are aware of what is appropriate and what is inappropriate and to act accordingly Are their any questions?" It was scarcely a moment before the blonde boy from before raised his hand. He however did not wait to be called upon and just started to talk.

"Professor Snape, what was that thing that appeared in the Great Hall?" The professor sneered for a moment and was about to open his mouth when Batman decided now was as good a time as any to reveal that he was there. He stepped out of the shadow he had sequestered himself in and appeared at the back of the gathering of students. Snape hesitated and his eyes widened for a small second at the sudden appearance of Batman. He had not seen him hiding, and had assumed that the man was not there as a show of blatant disrespect. The rest of the students saw the man's surprise and turned to look at what he was looking at. There were several shrieks of surprise and an instant uprising of whispers as several of the upper years reached for their wands.

"Everyone cease this behavior at once!" The professor glared over the students until all of them had settled down to looking back and forth between their head of house and the horned pillar that had appeared. Snape grumbled for a moment before he explained the situation in a tense monotone.

"As you can see the _thing _that has appeared in the Great Hall is indeed a man. He is informed us that his name is 'Batman' and that he comes form a separate dimension than ours. Shortly after his arrival it was discovered that he possessed magical ability that he had not before, as he was a muggle in his own world. The headmaster insisted that the man be sorted and allowed to control his ability while we assisted him in finding a way home. He has been sorted into Slytherin and he will be staying the guest rooms near my own quarters. It was my understanding that after he retrieved the necessary supplies, he would follow a first year curriculum." There was a very long silence in the room before the Blonde boy stood up off of the sofa he had claimed and exclaimed what most everyone was thinking.

"Are you saying a muggle in a stupid costume from a different dimension was sorted into Slytherin and your going to let him learn magic! He shouldn't even be here." Batman suddenly spoke up. He had played this game before. It had been a very long time since he had needed to make a name for himself, but he knew how it was done. If he did not act now he would be seen as weak for allowing a boy less than half his age to talk about him like this in front of him. Batman spoke in a strong voice that had the rest of the room shivering.

"I can assure you that I have no desire to posses your vaunted magic and that learning it is not a privilege I am taking advantage of out of choice. As soon as I am able I will return to my home and will be rid of this supposed 'gift'." The room was silent as everyone present registered just what Batman had said. Before Snape could get the situation under control Malfoy was running his mouth, sure that he had just been insulted by a muggle.

"Are you honestly telling me that you hate magic in the middle of a magic school?" Batman glared at the boy as he spoke once more. He did not miss that the Professor's as well as the boy's hand had gone tot heir wands in their pockets and that they were now tentatively fingering them.

"I believe that magic is a sloppy and chaotic medium with too many risks and costs to be an effective tool. It is a liability to me. It will make its users into weak and disadvantaged people." Batman could see the movements of his adversaries before they had even moved. He moved fluidly into a crouch before he propelled himself upward tucking into a flip. As he uncurled himself a bola went flying towards Malfoy, wrapping him from his legs up to his shoulders, while Batman landed nearly on top of Professor Snape. Batman contorted himself out of the path of a streak of red light before he came down on the professor with practiced precision, two nerve strikes to his shoulders disabled the man's arms. A quick sweep and the man was on the floor, unable to catch himself with his hands.

"What are you doing! He just attacked Snape and me. Why are you just standing there?" Malfoy was standing wobbly on his feet. Snape was about to open his mouth and shout a few choice words at the people concerned. Namely Batman and Malfoy, but before he could the overly calm voice of Batman filled the room.

"It's because they're afraid." Malfoy turned from the rest of the room, who were all nervously holding their wands pointing them but not doing anything, towards Batman who was now right in front of him and grabbing tightly onto the rope that bound him, pulling him right up into his face. Batman spoke in a dark hush that carried to the rest of the room despite its lack of volume. "It's because they saw me move, and know that I could defeat everyone in this room with minimal effort. And unlike you they have the sense not to attack what they cannot defeat."

Batman threw Draco down onto the couch and turned to Snape who was still lying by the fireplace. He had a bleeding cut on his forehead from where it had made contact with the fireplace. They locked gazes for a moment and when Snape did not say anything Batman turned to the room and all the wands shakily pointed at him.

"All you need to know to stay safe is to stay out of my way. And to those who think that they can get away with their crimes… I only have one rule." With that Batman turned to Malfoy and hit a button on a ball that sat in the middle of the tangle of rope that was holding him and the strands immediately retracted back into their container. After he had collected his bola he turned and moved silently back to the entrance and towards his room.


	2. Chapter 2

AN:/ Hey all, happy new year! Hope you enjoy this little gift from me to you. I'm apologizing now for Hagrid's 'accent'. But I don't really care enough to go and make sure its done correctly. so you'll just have to deal with it. Woe is you. Once again, don't know when I'll be updating next, but I do love those reviews! Enjoy!

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**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter Two

by: deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: Thursday, January 3, 2013, 5:30AM_

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The next day arrived on schedule. Batman had spent the majority of the night inspecting his living space. He had moved all of the portraits out into the hall and hung them up where they got over their disgruntled moods when they saw that they would be hung up with the likes of Salazar Slytherin and Lady Belladonna. He had found no secret or hidden entrances to his rooms but was still uncertain of who was allowed in and out that would be able to light the fireplace. Teleportation was not a foreign or impossible concept.

Batman had done a routine check of the supplies on his person and found that nothing that relied on electricity worked. The computer in his cowl, his communicator, his taser, and a plethora of other little gadgets did not work. He was secretly thankful that the bolas he used operated on a spring so that he had avoided embarrassing himself. After this realization Batman made to strip everything from his person that he would not be able to use, and then disassembled those gadgets, so that if they did start to spontaneously work they would not be able to be used until they were reassembled. The strip made him lighter and more mobile should the situation call for it: an advantage against unknown attacks.

Because the security of his room was still incomplete, instead of sleeping Batman allowed himself to slip into a deep meditative state that was like a light form of sleep, but that would allow him to 'wake up' abruptly if he needed to defend himself or become aware quickly.

When the clock in his room struck six o'clock he started his morning workout regimen, one hundred 'ups' as Jason had put it. One hundred each of push ups, pull ups, and sit ups. When it was seven o'clock he made his way to the Great Hall along the path he had remembered from the previous night, taking note of more details along the route as he went.

While in the dungeons he relied on the uncharacteristically deep shadows to give him cover from the traveling student population, but when he reached ground level and above he easily climbed up into the rafters and traveled silently above the hallway to the Great Hall.

However once he was at the entrance to the Great Hall there was no way to get into the room covertly. At this point the students were in a near constant stream in and out of the large door. The ceiling was enchanted to look like the sky, which meant that he would stick out against the sunny weather, this also meant that the room would be well lit, meaning nowhere to hide.

So instead of attempting to sneak around, Batman simply dropped from the rafters and walked through the doors. His initial drop had caused several high pitched screams. Batman had expected this, as that was a reaction he generally got when he dropped from the ceiling, and knew that the attention would be on him because of it. So he was not phased when upon entering the Great hall, there was a moment of silence before hundreds of students broke out into loud gossiping as he walked down the center of the hall.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a young man stand up, but his posture was different than those around him. Batman saw the extended arm and reached onto the table to pick up an empty serving tray. He flicked the round silver tray and it collided with a purple beam of light before continuing in its arch and landing on the floor with a loud crash. The boy who had cast the spell was distracted momentarily and that was all the time Batman needed to launch himself over the table that separated them and twist the boys arm so that he let go of his wand, pinning his other arm behind his back. The hall had broken out into sporadic screams at the action and were yelling loudly and franticly. Batman leaned down and spoke into the boys ear.

"Tell your father that if he or his friends try anything here, they won't be getting away with it. No matter how hard you try, you will not defeat me, magic means nothing in this fight. The next time you decide to attack me, Draco Malfoy, I'll demonstrate for you exactly how that is possible." Batman gave the boy a warning squeeze, causing him to grunt at the pain before he released his hold. Coming down the walkway were a slew of professors, Dumbledore, Snape, and a stern woman with green robes and tight black bun. Dumbledore was the first to speak, a large smile on his face.

"Splendid display. I haven't seen such acrobatics since I was a young man!" The stern woman was very quick to comment on the old man's choice of words.

"Albus! This man has just attacked-"

"Defended, Minerva, defended. I do believe that young mister Malfoy was the one to attack Batman before he retaliated. Batman's actions were in self-defense and no one is the worse for wear. Severus I will leave you to young mister Malfoy. I will take Batman and get him on his way with Hagrid. Minerva, do calm down your lions, they do seem to be getting a little overanxious." Minerva turned to see that not one single Gryphindor was in their seat and that a majority were standing on the tables and benches to see what was going on. Minerva immediately went over to get the lions under control while Snape clasped Malfoy by the shoulder and lead him out of the hall. Dumbledore turned to Batman with a gesture as he moved back down the isle towards the teacher's table. They quickly approached the largest man there, easily over twelve feet tall with an enormous beard that nearly obscured his face.

"Good morning Hagrid this, as you have already seen, is Batman." Dumbledore gestured towards a spare chair beside the giant that was obviously there for Batman. "In light of recent altercations I don't believe my hope of seeing you sit with your house will be realized. Why don't you have a seat and you and Hagrid can get aquainted while I go get your transportation ready. You must be hungry." Batman looked to the full breakfast laid out before the empty chair and back to Dumbledore. He stared the old man down before he moved to the chair. The giant he was now seated beside obligingly scooted over some to allow Batman some space. Dumbledore clapped his hands together once as he dismissed himself. "Well I'll be back shortly. Dig in then!" And Dumbledore twirled away making his way down the isles of the Great Hall. Batman stared at the fare before him before he took up a fork and started in on the eggs. He did not like accepting the food made by people who he did nto trust. But he admitted to himself that he would need the energy.

"Rubeus Hagrid, nice ter meet ya. You can just call me Hagrid though, everyone does." Batman put his fork down and looked over to the large man. Unlike most who had first met Hagrid, Batman was not at all put off by the man's size. He regularly fought men just as large, if not larger and won. Batman looked at the man's hand, which was extended as much as it could be for a handshake. He stared at the large hand and considered that it was a possibility he would be spending a large amount of time with this man and he had no desire to be at odds with the man for a majority of that time. It would be much more to his advantage if he had this man's cooperation.

Batman had been considering Hagrid's hand for such a long time that Hagrid was beginning to squirm, before Batman's arm finally appeared from underneath his black cape. Batman knew from expirence that trying to grab such a large hand when he might conciviably be able to only grasp a finger, would make him look infantile, so he left Hagrid to grab his hand and saved himself the dignity. Batman provided hsi name as a way of invitation.

"Batman" Hagrid smiled, and enthusiastically went to grab Batman's entire forearm only to draw away with a hiss almost as soon as he had started to close his fist. Hagrid turned over his hand to see three relatively shallow cuts in his palm. His eyes immediately went back to Batman's arm only see three protruding spikes disappear into Batman's cape.

Batman's eyebrow raised underneath the cowl when he saw not fear, or anger in Hagrids eyes, but genuine excitement at the danger that Batman had seemingly posed to him. It was scarcely a moment before Hagrid was attempting to hold conversation with him and Batman being extremely unaccommodating in his participation.

As Batman listened to the large man prattle on about his animals and how they were misunderstood, even if they were all dangerous. Batman quickly came to the conclusion that the man had very little perception of what was and wasn't dangerous. Most likely because he was difficult to injure himself, and had been treated as dangerous due to his size and durability. It would also explain his lack of anxiety over Batman's presence, which everyone else had reacted to with anxiety. Even after Hagrid had been accidentally injured by Batman's gauntlets, he did not have the context to perceive danger. Batman filed this information away as he listened to the man describe the feeding habits of a herd of Thestrals that lived in the Forbidden Forest.

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Being a part of the Justice League meant that Batman was exposed to more forms of transportation than was usual for any one person in their lifetime. So while the pulling sensation was unexpected, he coped with it much better than anyone else who had taken their first Portkey ride.

They landed outside of what Batman deduced was a pub of some sort, based on the smell of food an alcohol that came from the inside. Batman looked up briefly to see that Hagrid was holding his mouth and his stomach, obviously queasy from the ride and unable to stand straight based on the slight swaying. Batman sunk back into the shadows while the giant gained his bearings. After a few large breaths from the large man he was back under control and he exhaled loudly. Turning around rapidly to locate Batman when he didn't immediately, he grinned when he finally did see Batman, who was standing slightly out of the shadows to be able to be found.

"Right then, sorry 'bout that. I've never really been one for Portkeys. Welcome to Diagon Alley!" Hagrid turned and opened his arms towards the busy chaotic street, waiting for some sort of reaction to the chaos and displays of magic present. Batman gave none. After a person goes to work on a satellite overlooking the earth as the sun rises on a regular basis, it takes quite a sight to compare. Hagrid seemed thrown off by Batman's lack of reaction and stuttered a bit, a light blush rising on his cheeks.

"Yea' this is where we'll be getting' all yur supplies." Hagrid opened up his coat and started to dig around. "If I can just find the money that Dumbledore gave me. We can get started." After rooting around in several of his pockets he came out with a bag of coins. "'ere it is!" Hagrid opened the bag and pulled out a piece of paper that had been placed inside. He carefully unfolded it before he started to speak again. "Okay well we'd best get started on the list then. We' got a lot to get to. We should stop at the robe shop first, you don't want to be going around in that, attractin' attention and all that." Hagrid shifted his body, indicating that he was ready to move down the alleyway towards the robe shop but Batman didn't move. Instead he proposed his own plan of attack.

"We should split up and each handle half of the list. I can navigate the market well enough by myself, and when we are done, I will be able to spot you easily if you stay out in the open. We will get done faster this way." Hagrid seemed a little flustered and fidgeted with the edges of his coat as he replied.

"I guess we could do that. I mean its not like you're eleven like Harry was when I took him. I think I might be able to be getting some of the fertilizer I've been needing for the pumpkins too." As Hagrid justified splitting up to himself he grew in confidence. "Yea' alright. 'ere," Hagrid handed Batman the list and opened the bag to pour its contents into his large palm, "You take the list. I already know what's on it. I've seen it enough times and whatnot. I can collect all of the standard supplies for ya, like yur potions supplies and yur books, and you can get all of the stuff that you need to be there for: robes, a wand, and a pet, and whatever else catches yur fancy. Dumbledore gave us enough to do a little extra shoppin'." Hagrid picked out the amount of gold coins he would need before pouring a majority of the coins back into pouch and handing it over to Batman. Batman easily grabbed the leather pouch and made it disappear into his belt. Hagrid smiled as he stood up properly.

"Right then. I'll be waiting at Fortescue's over there when I'm done. Take your time and all that. I've got some shopping to be done for myself so don't be in a hurry." Hagrid nodded at Batman, waiting for him to move away or make some indication that he was going to say goodbye. Hagrid only shifted on his feet as Batman only stared at him. He coughed into his hand before he opened his mouth, "Well, In a bit then." Hagrid then awkwardly turned away from Batman and started to make a path through the crowd.

Batman waited until the man was turned away before he sunk back into the alleyway and started moving. While he did intend to buy what was on the list, he had a few other goals in mind as well. First on his list was finding himself a disguise to work in while he was here. He couldn't be seen as Batman doing shopping.

First he needed a safe place for his armor while he shopped. He quickly climbed up the sides of the surrounding buildings and up to the roofs of the surrounding shops. There were more than enough hiding places to keep his things for a short period of time where no one would find them.

Batman disassembled himself from foot to head, hiding his equipment in all different places, so that if one piece was discovered the others would not be in jeopardy. Finally he had hidden his cowl and he was left in nothing but black under-armor tights, a long sleeved under-armor shirt, and black socks carrying a bag of money and one dose of knockout gas.

Still hiding himself in the shadows he waited patiently for a man of about his height and weight to walk by before he struck. He covered the man's mouth, held the knockout gas under his nose, and he was out. And would remain that way for the next five hours. He dragged the burnet man further into he alleyway and propped him up behind one of the buildings and a stone wall. Carefully he slid the robe and shoes off of the man and put them on himself. The robe was long, and closed in the front, so he wouldn't need to steal the man's other clothes. It was a wooly grey with brown trim and deep pockets. The shoes were a bit narrow, but they would do until he could buy his own pair. Bruce found a wand in one of the pockets and carefully placed it in the man's waistband so he would find it if he woke up. Once he secured the wand he found an empty bottle that said 'firewhiskey' on the side, deeper in the alley, and he didn't have to be a detective to know that this was exactly what he needed. He placed the bottle in the mans hand, tussled his hair, and smeared a bit of grime on his face so it would look to anyone who discovered the man, that he had simply passed out drunk and leave him alone.

Once Bruce had himself situated he combed his hands through his hair and tried to make himself look at least slightly presentable. He really needed a shower and some cologne but a quick tousle and a spit bath would have to do. With that he walked confidently into the crowds, the robe swishing around him and headed straight for a shop named Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

The bell gave a cheery jingle when he entered and he was greeted by a slightly tired but enthusiastic matron. "Hello dear, I'm Madam Malkin. What can I do for you today?" Bruce turned up the charm and flashed his best playboy smile at the woman. She smiled a bit more genuinely back at him for his efforts. Bruce winked at her before he started speaking in a thick British accent.

"I'm afraid I am in need of a new set of robes. I have a party I'm going to next week, my best mate is turning forty, and his wife has been planning the affair for ages. I need something a bit more fancy than what I have in my closet. I don't suppose this would be the place to be?" The stout woman chuckled as she turned and waved towards Bruce to follow her.

"You are in the right place then. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?" The woman had lead him to a small stand, which he knew from having his suits tailored for him his entire life, would be where his measurements would be taken. Bruce stepped up to the small platform without prompting as he replied.

"Bruce Wayne, at your service." As the woman turned back to him she had a smile on her face as she tapped a small tape measure with her wand and it started to zoom around his form. Bruce made sure to stay still as he had been trained to do.

"Well Mister Wayne, what did you have in mind for colors and materials?" Bruce allowed himself to relax when the tape measure fell to the floor.

"Oh I wouldn't presume to know anything about dressing myself. My wife makes sure that she gets a look at me before I leave the house. I'm colorblind, you see, so I don't really know what looks best. I was hoping that you wouldn't mind me as a project. My wife loves playing dress up with me as it were. I figured someone else might like the chance. I need a set of trousers, a blouse, and a new pair of shoes long with a new cloak. Just as long as it isn't too outrageously priced, I would trust your judgment. That is if you don't mind?" Bruce shot his innocent boyish grin at her and she smiled at him widely she clapped her hands together rapidly. She went to the stacks of fabric across the room.

"Of course of course! I would be more than pleased. I haven't gotten to do this sort of thing in ages. I just spent the last month doing nothing but Hogwarts robes. Dreadfully boring, after a while. And everyone these days always knows exactly what they want. Even if it isn't exactly tasteful. This is why I started in robes you know. When I was a girl I was convinced I would be a clothing designer, but you know how that worked out. Though I can't complain, I get to meet wonderful people here and I can't say that I don't enjoy my job." As the witch rambled she selected a number of bolts of fabric and waved her wand at them so that they moved themselves into a neat pile next to the podium Bruce had been standing on. Bruce watched as a clear pallet of nearly black greens and blues revealed itself. Bruce found himself smiling at the development. Everyone who ever got the chance always jumped to bring out his pitch hair and his blue eyes.

Madam Malkin quickly slipped into her element as she got to do what she loved and stopped making small talk to focus on her work, which was perfectly fine with Bruce, as he was not overly fond of it in the first place. The woman selected a number of trims before she walked back over to the podium and started holding fabrics up the Bruce's shoulder, letting them drape down before she would shake her head and move onto the next, the pile of discarded fabric was soon growing until she settled on a fabric that seemed two toned. It was a black silk that shined a dark blue when it was lit correctly. The trim she had selected was a plain silver, and not overly shiney, but bright enough to be silver and not grey. She went on to select an ornately crafted clasp, that was designed to look like a dragon guarding a small sapphire, when it was fastened. She went on to select a simple black silk for the lining of the cloak before she moved on to picking out the colors of his pants and shirt. The pants would be a plain black, while the shirt would be grey with an oxford collar, and a line of black buttons.

She went to collect a pair of shoes for Bruce to try on after she asked for his size. Bruce made sure to give his European size and she came back with a pair of black square toes ankle boots that laced up the side. They were tight at first, but they molded to his foot after a moment, obviously due to some magic, and fit perfectly.

Bruce looked up to the woman to see that she was smiling happily down at him as he sat in the spare chair she had ushered him into to try the shoes. "Well, Mister Wayne, I do believe that's it. I can have your robes ready for you in about two hours. So if you'd like to shop around and go to lunch they'd be ready when you come back. I must say that I am certainly excited to see them come to life. Thank you for letting this tired old girl have some fun." Bruce smiled confidently up at the woman as he took off the new shoes and shoved his feet back into the ones he had come here in, not wanting to looks suspicious or too eager to wear shoes that were supposed to be for special occasions.

"Oh Madam it was my pleasure. I do think you have done me the greatest service here. And I could have sworn you were not a day over twenty-five!" The woman blushed at the obvious exaggeration and ushered him towards the door as she responded.

"Your wife certainly knows how to pick them, Mister Wayne. Now unless you would care to watch me sew your garments, I think you had best occupy yourself until they are done. I'll see you in a small while." Bruce nodded to the woman and thanked her before the door jingled shut and Bruce was back out into the alleyway. Silently Bruce congratulated himself for making sure that he would have wizarding attire that was socially appropriate from this point forward. By getting Madam Malikn to design the robes he was ensuring that someone knowledgeable about what looked 'good' and 'bad' was making the decisions, preventing any mistakes that Bruce might have made from the guesses he would make based on the small sample of wizard clothing he had been exposed to. And if the woman's taste wasn't desirable and people decided to notice or comment, Bruce could blame the lack of fashion sense on the witch and not himself.

Bruce spotted Hagrid further down the alley going into some sort of botanical shop. Not wanting to waste any time he headed straight over to a shop, 'Ollivander's Wands' and did not hesitate to go inside.

The store was completely empty and smelled like an antique store. The dust was visible as it floated through the air and the windows were foggy with grime as the light had trouble penetrating from the outside. Bruce had to restrain himself from whipping around when he felt the presence of someone to his side, and instead 'jumped' slightly as he looked over when the old man beside him decided to get his attention.

"I don't believe we've met before, Mister…"

"Bruce Wayne. I'm afraid I don't know your name either." Bruce extended his hand and tried valiantly not to let the loud objections his gut was making to the man show on his face. The old man gave him a knowing smile as he slowly took Bruce's hand.

"I am Mr. Olivander. And I believe I would be correct in assuming you need a wand?" Unlike in the Robe Shoppe, a tape-measure came out of nowhere without warning and started measuring his every limb and orifice as the old wispy man disappeared into the shelves, though his voice could still be heard as he continued to talk. "You know it's not very often that I get a costumer in here over the age of eleven. This should be interesting I think. You see, matching a wand to a child is on the whole a much simpler task, as their personalities are still developing. A wand can sense this and will be more willing to choose a young impressionable child. A grown man however is already set in his ways and he won't find a wand that fits unless it fits perfectly."

Mr. Olivander reappeared from the depths of the isles carrying several small thin boxes. Bruce was reminded unwillingly of trips to the shoe store when he had been little. "The wand chooses the wizard Mr. Wayne. They are fickle things that won't work properly until they find just the right touch." Bruce watched as the old man set down the stack of boxes, and swiftly opening one, discarded the box carelessly on the floor as he held the piece of wood in his hands delicately out towards Bruce. "Here we are, Pine and Dragon heartstring, thirteen inches."

Bruce looked to the old man before he cautiously reached out and grabbed the wand by the handle. He examined the small piece of wood in his hands for a moment flexing his fist around it before he gave it a short wave, as Dumbledore had instructed him to do in the headmasters office. Immediately after Bruce had started moving the wand through the air, the old man had snatched the wand out of his hand, and given him a new one with only the introduction of 'dogwood, dragon heartstring, twelve and a half inches.' And thus the arduous process of choosing a wand had begun.

Bruce knew it had been approximately forty five minutes of the wispy man running back and forth between his isles of wands and Bruce. After the first fifteen minutes Bruce reminded himself to take a seat because a normal character would not be able to remain standing and motionless for longer amounts of time. So Bruce made it a point to fidget occasionally, while he gave the old man an increasingly impatient smile on his every return with a new slew of wands for him to try.

Though If Bruce were being honest with himself, the process was slightly intriguing. He could clearly see a pattern being followed as the wand maker narrowed in on what would match his person best. Though he supposed the pattern wouldn't be apparent to someone who didn't have at least a mediocre knowledge of dendrology. The woods had been narrowed down first to those with a tolerance for a winter climate. Quickly the man had stopped bringing him wands made with the wood of fruit trees or temperate woods. Next the man had seemed to zero in on a length. The wands bouncing between longer and shorter before they settled on a consistent thirteen inches. What the man could not seem to decide on was a wand core. It was clear he favored the pine of thirteen inches, but was uncertain of what the core should be and continued to change the woods to others similar because of his indecision. Finally the man snatched the latest wand out of his hand and placed it neatly on a large pile of discarded wands. However instead of immediately going back into the shelves, he paused and examined Bruce for a long moment.

Bruce noticed and met the mans eyes to determine the purpose of the man's examination, only to immediately regret doing so. As soon as he had met the man's intense gaze it was obvious that he had given something of himself away. Bruce didn't' know what information this man had gleaned from him, simply by a look, but in this world of magic he could not predict accurately for what was possible. A trait about magic he sincerely hated.

"Mister Wayne, if you will give me a moment. I think I know what it is you need." Bruce gave the man an acknowledging nod and the old man winked at him with a knowing smirk before he disappeared one final time into the isles of wands behind the counter. It was truthfully only one or two minutes before the man re-emerged, an old and abused box in his hand.

"Mr. Wayne, This wand really is most peculiar. It is one of the wands I made in my younger days, when I was running around trying to prove the impossible. You see, today I only use three wand cores, as they produce consistently the best results; unicorn hair, dragon heartstring, and phoenix feather. However before I came to this conclusion, I experimented with a number of different cores. Thestral hair, among them. It was said to have untold properties, but was nearly impossible to work with. To even be able to see a thestral, a person must have witnessed and understand death. So naturally a hair I could not see would be difficult to craft into a wand, but I persevered. I went as far as to take a trip to St. Mungo's down the way and ask permission to watch, as the life left a persons eyes. I went back to the hospital forty nine times before I was able to see the hairs I was working with. But once I was, I created a wand that I knew was special.

However up until this point, any person to handle a wand with a core of thestral hair, has immediately broken down into hysterical tears, overcome with a depression so great that most needed to be treated by a healer to be right again. It seemed that the wand did not agree with anyone, as even I myself had trouble handling the wand without being overcome with despair. I had put the wand away and I had not thought of it for decades… until now." The old man held out the box and Bruce looked at it for a moment before he took it. Bruce opened the lid to see a long thin wand that was black as pitch.

"Ebony and Thestral hair, thirteen inches." Bruce forced himself not to look up into the man's eyes. Refusing to let the man know anything about him from further eye contact, especially in the perceived importance of the moment. Deliberately cautious Bruce reached for the wand in the box and held it in his hand.

There was a moment where nothing happened before Bruce started to feel the wand react to his touch. All of the other wands he had tried had only given off a light tingle through his fingers, varying in strength depending on the wand. It was almost immediately apparent that this wand was different.

Instead of a tingling sensation starting at his fingertips, there was a completely different sensation filling his gut. Something that made him want to squirm and thrash to release it from his body. Some type of emotion that makes a person _need _to get up and scream; to punch a wall or a door until their knuckles bled. Bruce forced himself to sit still as the sensation assaulted him, never relinquishing control. As Bruce forced control on himself the sensations throughout his body started to develop. Pure anger turned to righteousness fury and started to build in his lungs, causing his breathing to become strained. Rage pounded through his head as the need to do something to relieve the pressure built. Something needed to meet the business end of fist. He needed to make them pay, to make them bleed. He needed to make someone scream. He wanted to hold their life in his hands as they begged for mercy and then he wanted to make them watch as he decided their fate right before their eyes. He needed to make sure that they felt his pain, so they would never cause it in others. It was the need to right what was wrong. To punish all of the scum and the filth that had corrupted and controlled his life.

What filled him was a need for vengeance that would never be satiated. Bruce knew now, what the feeling was inside him, he had felt it before, but not for years with such intensity. This wand was making him truly feel death. However unlike others Bruce had felt this before, with even greater sensitivity. What he was feeling was the tearing of his soul after his parents' death, an anger so absolute that it had nearly consumed him. The anger and righteousness that filled his soul so completely it now sustained him. With this realization the rage became possible to control. It was familiar to him; something he could use. Instead of an uncontrollable inferno, it was cool as ice. This was a rage Bruce had learned to tame and control long ago. He understood this rage and its purpose for him. It was nothing for him to fear, but something for him to use.

And then all at once the pressure subsided, leaving Bruce lightheaded as he realized he had become so tense, and his breathing so shallow that he had not taken a proper breath in over a minute. He could feel a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and his knuckles cracked as he forced his fists to relax. As awareness went back to his fingers he realized he was holding a loose piece of wood, and that in his trance he had cracked the armrest of the chair he was sitting in clean off. Absently Bruce set the piece of wood on the floor and flexed his fingers to allow the blood to flow freely once more.

Bruce looked to the thin wand in his hand with a mixture of resentment and respect. He did not trust this instrument in his hand, especially after what it had done to him, and he hated the part of him that did not want to let go of the wand to put it back in its box. He did not trust this instinct in him to keep the wand at hand. He didn't trust the wand or magic. Bruce knew he would only be using the instrument when he was absolutely required to.

Bruce glanced back to Mr. Olivander and saw something truly sad in his eyes. As if he knew that there was something deeply wrong with Bruce that he would never get over. That there was that something dark in his soul that cried for justice, for revenge.

"I am truly sorry, Mister Wayne. More sorry than I myself can comprehend. I refuse to accept payment for this wand. You have paid for it in other ways." Bruce frowned slightly at the man as he stood preparing to make his leave.

"Thank you for your patience in finding a wand for me. If there is anything that I can do to repay you for this…"

"Keep someone close, Mister Wayne. For this old man, let someone close so that you do not have to be alone." Bruce was silent as he placed the wand back in the box and the box in his pocket. Neither of them said a word as Bruce turned and the door jingled as it was open and shut.

Bruce did not take a moment to regain himself as he moved down the alley. There was nothing for him to need regaining from. The fact that the rage he felt on a constant basis had come to the fore was nothing to get excited over. It was something he dealt with on a daily basis. Every time he woke up. He left the shop and the owner behind as he focused back on his objectives for the day. As soon as Bruce exited the shop his first task was tracking down Hagrid and seeing where he was in his shopping. If Bruce didn't time his shopping correctly he would keep the giant waiting. This wouldn't be a problem if it were for a short period of time, but if he took too long, the large man would inevitably become suspicious, and that was something Bruce didn't need.

So with a practiced air of nonchalance Bruce walked down the alley towards the botanical shop he had last seen the man enter. The man was still inside, talking animatedly with someone. When the giant threw his head back in response to something his companion had said, Bruce could hear the laugh all the way outside the store.

Bruce didn't see any bags with the giant. This would normally indicate that the man hadn't done any of his shopping yet, however Bruce had seen several people in the street shrinking and pocketing their bags, so there was no true indicator of how far along the giant was with his portion of the shopping. Worst case scenario, Hagrid would be finished by the time Bruce came back out of the pet shop and retrieved his robes. Best case scenario, he would still be occupied when Bruce had all of his required items and he would have an opportunity to start establishing an alternative identity in this world. Something he could use to disappear in if he ever needed the escape route.

Taking a look down at the list before he made his way down to the pet shop Bruce read it over once and then twice to make sure that he had read correctly. It seemed that a pet was not required as had been implied by the giant upon their arrival. And if he was not required to be responsible for any but his own wellbeing, that was just fine with him. The last thing he needed was more than one life to be responsible for. This was just as well, because it gave Bruce more time to do what he needed to do, and more money to spare on his more relevant endeavors.

However for what Bruce wanted to do he would be more comfortable accomplishing it in the robes that he had had ordered and would fit him properly, than in the stolen slightly worn robes he was currently wearing. So as Bruce made to b-line back across the alley towards the robe shop, he hopped that checking up on one's purchase before the estimated completion time was not terribly bad form.

The door jingled merrily when Bruce entered the room once more and the much younger and happier sounding voice of Madam Malkin came from somewhere within the shop. "Coming! Coming! I'll only be a moment!" There was a rustling of fabric and the thunk of boxes being moved before the plump woman came from behind a slatted door.

"Mr. Wayne! Was there something you wanted to change about your order? It's barely been an hour." There was a genuinely curious look upon the witches face as she moved to a spot properly in front of Bruce before the counter. Bruce gave the woman a nervous smile as he responded.

"I'm terribly sorry, Madam, I suppose I was a tad impatient. I was simply wondering how far along the clothes were. I must say that you have me rather excited about them."

Madam Malkin blushed lightly as she swatted the air. "Oh Mister Wayne it is no trouble at all. The clothes themselves are finished of course. I was only about to start weaving the standard spells into them. Self-repairing, spill-protection, and the like. Truthfully that is the part of the process that takes the longest."

Bruce let a frown appear on his face as he responded. "You never mentioned any spellwork involved." Now Madam Malkin responded with her own concerned frown.

"I apologize dear. I thought you knew. The spells are standard on all of the robes I make. I didn't think it worth mentioning. Would you like a more complete list of the charms I use and the costs involved?"

Bruce smiled hesitantly as he spoke. "I'm sorry if I offend you in saying so, but spelled clothes have never really gotten along with me. My mates always had the best time messing with my clothes in school and I've never really felt comfortable in anything magically enhanced since. If you don't mind I would be more comfortable if they remained un-spelled." Bruce mentally winced at the juvenile story. He had no way of knowing if spells were used in such a frivolous way in this society. Even if the behavior exhibited in the street would suggest so. His story sounded merely plausible to his own ears. He could only hope that the report he had built with the woman up until this point would incline her towards believing him.

"Oh its no problem. In fact if that is the case it is a good thing you caught me when you did. I would have taken me twice as long to get the clothes unspelled as it would to have spelled them in the first place. Long lasting charms do take time if you want them to last for more than a few days, you know." The matron smiled warmly up at Bruce and Bruce allowed himself a sigh of relief, but not for the reason Madam Malkin was thinking.

"Thank you madam. I apologize for not making myself clear earlier." Bruce kept up his flashing white smile while the matron shooed at him as she went back through the slatted door.

"I'll have your clothes right up sweetie. Just give me a moment." Bruce nodded to the woman's back as he mentally filed away the fact that long lasting charms needed a longer time to be cast. Bruce was going to take information where he could get it.

From there it was less than ten minutes between making the purchase exchanging goodbyes, and making his way back to the man he had rendered unconscious earlier to change.

The man was still out cold, and it appeared as if no one had been by to alter his charade. Still, Bruce moved quickly to return the clothes to the man and get out of the way. Instead of bothering to put the robes and shoes back on, Bruce merely placed them over the man to add to the drunkenness of his appearance. The finishing touch were three gold coins left in the man's robe pocket as compensation.

When Bruce left the alleyway he was clad in his own robes clothes and shoes. All which fit considerably better than what he had been wearing previously. And a large portion of the money he had started out with was still in his pocket. Bruce did not like the noisy quality of the coins, but he would figure out a way to prevent that when he had spare time.

It was now that Bruce made his way to the bank. It did not take the world's greatest detective to figure out where the bank was. As while the building was labeled 'Gringotts' it was built with the splendor and attention to detail usually reserved for buildings of government or finance. Bruce would know, as he was overly familiar with both types of buildings.

As he approached the bank, Bruce Wayne took a back seat, while Batman's observational skills came to the fore. The small stanza on the front of the building did not go unnoticed. If the architecture did not give away that the people handling his money were proud people, this warning did. He made a note to comport himself properly in light of this observation, being respectful, but not a pushover. The other glaring detail was the set of guards that appeared to be Goblins stationed at the doors. They bowed very briefly as Bruce approached and Bruce, having become very familiar with the art of bowing in both his personas, made to return the bow just a small fraction deeper.

The guards looked surprised at his gesture for a brief moment before they were back to their stoic poses, but the emotion was not unnoticed. Bruce straightened himself out and his mind furiously went about the implications of the reaction. The most obvious being that they had not expected the courtesy of the returned greeting from him. Whether this was due to a regular lack of respect, or a deeper issue between species', was yet to be seen.

As Bruce walked into the bank he kept his defenses up, but could not help be recognize that he was now in a familiar environment, despite a few obvious differences. The set up was largely the same. He approached an available teller who was in the process of recording a series of numbers, and waited to be addressed. The Goblin slowly looked up to him from the piece of parchment he was working on, a grimace appearing on his face.

"Yes?" remembering the bows he had been given outside by the guards, Bruce made the same gesture to the teller, on a hunch that it would be appreciated similarly. Bruce restrained his smile when the small expression of surprise flicked over the small creatures face at his gesture.

"If you would excuse me, I would like to set up a savings account in the name of Bruce Wayne. Would you be able to assist me in dong so, or perhaps point me towards someone who would?" The Goblin seemed to stand up slightly out of its chair to look over the counter at Bruce's person. Bruce allowed himself to remain relaxed as he was looked over, and made it a point to _not _look offended when the Goblin looked him back in the eyes.

"You would be Mister Wayne I take it?" Bruce bowed again as he responded.

"I would be. I am afraid I did not catch your own name, Mister…" The goblin smiled and revealed a set of black and bronze teeth, all tapered to razor points.

"That would be because I have yet to offer it, Mister Wayne. Blacktooth the Bloodthirsty, it is a pleasure." The Goblin offered a small head nod as a way of acknowledging the bow before he spoke again.

"I do believe we would be more comfortable in one of the back rooms while we conducted our business. If you would meet me behind the door at the end of this row of tellers, Mister Wayne I will show you to where we can conduct our business properly." The Goblin extended a long pointy finger towards a large brass door at the end of the line of tellers. Bruce nodded his head and made to move towards the door as the Goblin hopped down from his chair. Bruce made it to the door just as it swung outward slowly and silently on well oiled hinges. The Goblin that had been speaking to him before stood on the other side and only came to about his kneecap.

"Follow me Mister Wayne." Bruce stepped through the door when the goblin turned and started to walk down a hallway. The Goblin absently waved his hand and Bruce was aware of the small thud that signaled the door closing behind them. There were several other tall brass doors lining the hallway. Blacktooth seemed to be aiming for a specific one and gave a very stern waving motion to the door when they arrived there, causing it to swing inward. Bruce did not hesitate to walk into the small office after the goblin and sat himself as the goblin made his way around the desk and seated himself at his own chair.

"Now then, Mister Wayne All I will need from you is your signature, a small sample of your blood, and your initial holding. After this we can determine the details." Bruce narrowed his eyes at the grinning creature, knowing that the expression would not be held against him later from someone of this character.

"I will be more than happy to provide these things for you after you have explained to me the necessity of my blood and signature. I would also like assurances of where my money will be held and how it will be protected before I entrust you to its care." Bruce's eyes became calculating when the goblin behind the desk suddenly became colder. It was obvious that Bruce had said something wrong and he was about to be informed as to what.

"And I suppose that as a wizard you believe you cannot entrust your wellbeing to a Goblin?" Bruce scowled at the blind prejudice that was being ascribed to him as he stared into beady black eyes as he responded.  
"This is obviously not the case, as I am here with the intention to entrust my money to you and your business. However I will not hand over my wealth without having first determined that it will be safe in the hands that it is placed. I had supposed that you being a man of business would understand the necessity of details, but if you expect me to blindly trust another with my money, then I will gladly take my business with me and excuse myself. I do not care who or what you are, I do however care deeply about your ability to conduct honest business with me. Have we come to an understanding or should I show myself to the door?" There was an intense silence as Bruce stared at Blacktooth and Blacktooth stared back. Finally something seemed to shift in the goblins eyes, from anger to sadistic glee as he shifted in his seat behind his desk.

"A wizard who cares for his money and not his standing as you do is not come by often, Mr. Wayne. Allow me to explain our procedure. I assure you, you will not come across a safer bank in all of Europe." Bruce glared at the Goblin. Blacktooth accepted the glare with a nod and Bruce knew that this was all he was getting in the way of acknowledgment or apology. Honesty it was fine with Bruce. He wasn't very good with apologies himself, and he understood the goblin's need to keep his pride. Forcing the goblin to dismantle that would not be good for his savings account.

"That would be appreciated Mister Blacktooth." The goblin nodded before he launched into an explanation.

"Very good. The Bank of Gringotts requires a small amount of your blood and your signature to verify your identity and establish your unique control over your holdings. Once the appropriate documents that have been signed, your unique magical signature will ensure that Gringotts and yourself are held into a legitimate contract to be abided by both sides. The blood, will be used for the protection of your money. The small amount will enable whatever vault to recognize and identify your signature along with disallow anyone else whom you have not specified access to your holdings. The remaining blood is properly disposed of, that is to say destroyed, and the contract will be stored in a secure vault in a file of its own. Is this explanation satisfactory?" The Goblin raised a long scraggly eyebrow at him and Bruce gave a small nod of acknowledgement.

"No, I do not need further explanation. I am still wary of the use of my Blood for such purposes however, and I will request that it not leave my sight until it is disposed of as you described. I do not feel comfortable leaving such substances without my supervision." The Goblin nodded back to Bruce as he opened a drawer and drew out several documents as well as a small crystal bowl that looked as if it could hold maybe four ounces at most.

"This can be accommodated, I believe. However I will assure you that we here at Gringotts do take the security of our clients' monetary wealth very seriously. You have nothing to fear in leaving your money in our hands." The Goblin made x's in all of the lines that Bruce was going to be required to sign and then turned the parchments around so that Bruce would be able to sign them. Bruce took the parchments and the quill he was offered, but set the quill down on the desk as he picked up the parchments to read.

"No security is absolute. This is a fact, not a doubt of your honor or sincerity." The Goblin did not respond to Bruce's comment and instead remained silent as Bruce read carefully through the documents and made sure he understood what they said before he placed them on the desk and swiftly signed each of them in the sweeping signature of Bruce Wayne.

The Goblin looked the documents over to make sure no changes had been made after the thorough examination of the wizard before him, but he saw none. Blacktooth calmly set the parchments down as he looked back to Bruce.

"Very Good Mister Wayne. Now that we have that out of the way, we may discuss your account. What is the amount of your initial holdings?" Bruce moved his hand easily to his pocket and pulled out the leather pouch that held the remainder of his money. Bruce took out five of the coins to put back in his pocket for emergencies and then set the small pouch down on the goblin's desk. The Goblin stared at the money for a small moment before he let out a short laugh that sounded like the grinding of glass. Bruce scowled at the action as he waited for the Goblin to realize this was not a joke.

When Blacktooth did see that Bruce was indeed serious, based on the expression on his face, his own expression became annoyed and somber. "This is truly all of the money you have been guarding so valiantly?" Bruce allowed a small sneer to appear on his face as he leaned forward in his seat.

"You sneer at my money, as if it were beneath you? To you this may be a petty amount, but I do not take it so lightly. These robes and my appearance have betrayed you. This wealth is all I have access to in my current position. If you believe this money is worthless you are sadly mistaken. What I am entrusting you with is the safety all of my currently accessible wealth and I do not bestow that duty lightly. I have half a mind to be on my way for such a disrespect as I obviously will take the security of my money more seriously than you ever will." The Goblin blinked in surprise before he growled at Bruce for the slight against his business.

"How dare you presume that we at Gringotts are anything but serious about our business."

Bruce narrowed his eyes. "I dare because that is the display you have given me upon the appearance of my money. If you are as prestigious as you claim then you will treat my contract with the due respect, regardless of its perceived value." The Goblin continued to glare at Bruce but there was not the same anger or resentment in his eyes. Blacktooth had realized his offense but was not at all willing to admit it. Bruce saw the regret for his current predicament in Blacktooth's eyes and it was enough for him to realize that Blacktooth knew Bruce was right in this instance. Bruce leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. Blacktooth took the action as the disarmament it was meant to be and moved to shuffle the papers on the desk into a neat pile beside Bruce's money. He reached over towards the small crystal bowl and pulled a small knife from inside a drawer to his right. Both instruments were handed to Bruce.

"If you would still be willing, I will require at least two ounces of your blood. At that point we will proceed into the caverns so that we might properly arm your vault against any ill intentions." Bruce was now handed the small crystal bowl and a small knife, which Bruce accepted without comment.

Blacktooth raised an eyebrow when he saw that Bruce did not even flinch upon the piercing of his skin and as calmly as if he were pouring tea allowed the blood to drip into the small bowl from a cut on the inside of his wrist. Blacktooth raised his other eyebrow to match the first when Bruce did not bring out his wand to heal the cut, but pulled out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and tied it tightly with practiced motions around the open wound instead.

Blacktooth's respect for this unknown man was slowly, _very _slowly, rising. He did not waste any time once the bowl was full and got down from his chair. He gestured for Bruce to take the crystal bowl while he grabbed the money and the signed documents.

"If you would follow me Mister Wayne, we will have you squared away shortly." Bruce once more, did not answer with words but with actions. He grabbed the bowl and made to follow the small creature down a hallway around several corners until the opulent décor of the hallway abruptly cut off to a rock cave entrance. A mining cart was waiting for them on a set of tracks. Blacktooth refrained from prompting Bruce to follow when he saw that he had not hesitated to get into the cart after he had made it clear that's where they were going.

Blacktooth, had the thought once they started moving down the rapid rollercoaster-esque tracks, that he had not seen the wizard pull out his wand to ensure that the blood would not spill on the journey. He looked back a hand raised to cast a quick charm over the bowl, only to see the wizard behind him moving fluidly with the cart as if he were a part of it, the bowl he was carrying not in the slightest danger of spilling. Before Blacktooth could ponder on the sight the cart had come to a stop. He stepped out of the cart, the wizard not far behind and started assigning the curious wizard a vault.

* * *

Bruce stepped out of the bank twenty three galleon's lighter, and satisfied with his first interactions with Goblins. He had made it a point to bow to both Blacktooth and the guards on the way out, earning him more quirked eyebrows. Bruce supposed that he had let himself get out of hand in his overall demeanor. His actions would not at all go towards helping him blend into the goblins everyday interactions, but he did not regret letting his more ruthless side slip through. Truthfully, Bruce did not know if he would ever need to come in contact with the goblins or the money he had left behind again. However if he did, he knew that the goblins will have done their best to keep it safe, and that they had no vested interest to sabotage it on his account of being weak or rude. And it was merely a hunch, but Bruce did not think he had anything to worry about in regards towards the Goblins motivations in relation to him specifically. He had proven himself different, and that was his advantage in this case.

However, as Bruce moved down the alleyway towards the ice-cream shop that Hagrid had previously pointed out, he did not want to be so different. So Bruce allowed his shoulders to slouch and his face muscles to relax out of their guarded pose. Bruce did not have t get very close to the shop to see the Giant, waiting near one of the tables, and obviously debating whether he should attempt to fit himself under the umbrella at one of them.

It was on the inside of five minutes that Batman had himself reassembled into his armor and his robes and shoes neatly folded and back in the bag he had received them in. The bag having been saved in his robes pocket for when he would need it later. Batman easily maneuvered in the alleyways shadowed crevices towards the ice cream shop and appeared easily in the giants shadow. He caused the giant to spin and jump slightly when he spoke.

"Let's go." Hagrid placed his hand over his heart as he smiled good naturedly down at Batman.

"Merlin, you nearly sacred me half to death you did. Have you got all of your supplies then?" Batman allowed his cape to shift to the side, exposing his bag. Batman had hesitated putting the wand back into the bag, and not having it immediately on his person. But he had quickly scolded himself and placed the wand with his other purchases.

Hagrid nodded to the bag before he seemed to realize something. "Did you stop by Eyelopes? You might want a bird later. Great for carryin' letters and whatnot. Practical they are. Smart too." Batman scowled slightly as he replied to the giant.

"I do not have time or energy to care for another's well being." Batman easily sidestepped the trash-lid sized hand that came rapidly swinging towards his back to give him a harty 'pat'. Hagrid seemed to hardly notice the dodge.

"Nonsense! You won't hardly have to take care of 'um. They just stay up in the owlery. Come on, you'll see, cute little buggers they are. Not my taste exactly, Buckbeaks much more my type." Batman quickly found himself with little choice but to follow the giant who had made a b-line for the magical menagerie if he didn't want to be left out in the open. It was peculiar how everyone who got a glimpse of him in his armor seemed to write him off once they had gotten a look at Hagrid beside him.

Hagrid maneuvered his way into the store gathering several looks and overall being a wonderful distraction from Batman's appearance. Hagrid was not at all sidetracked however and moved straight over to the half of the store dedicated to owls and their supplies.

"Here we are! Plenty to choose from. I remember I got Harry a snowy owl. Beautiful thing, she is. I imagine we might get a little something darker for you though." Hagrid laughed silently at his own joke as he looked down to Batman and gently pushed him away from his own shadow.

"Go on then have a look see. You won't know who you like until you say 'ello." As soon as Batman was within the owls line of vision they started to screech and claw at there cages, obviously not very happy with the appearance of a giant bat and seemingly intent on attack. Batman looked up blankly to Hagrid who had blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I forgot that. Owls eat bats now don't they. Well then we can always get you something else. I'm sure that-" Hagrid was interrupted as a black blur dive bombed from the ceiling with a high pitched squeak right into Batman's chest.

Batman caught the animal easily in his open palms as it quickly righted itself and looked up at Batman. It was a bat, easily the size of a small cat. It had to weigh at least three pounds, its fur was black as pitch. It's eyes beady and shinny as it blinked and its huge ears twitched.

"Nightmare! That's where you have been hiding. Oh thank god I thought one of the owls had finally gotten to you." A skinny woman in an oversized brown leather apron and huge leather gloves came running over to Batman, though Batman himself seemed to hold little of her attention, most of it was on the large bat in his hands. She attempted to reach for the it and take it out of Batman's hands but it merely squeaked loudly and clutched onto what it could of Batman's gauntlets. It was at this point that the woman looked up to see that she was indeed standing in front of a man dressed as a giant bat. She stepped back for a moment, clearly uncomfortable before she smiled hesitantly.

"Well I can certainly see why he's become attached." She chuckled nervously as Batman glared at her. She tried once again to take the large bat gently from Batman's hands but the bat was having none of it. It screeched once more before it wiggled out of the woman's hands and found its way inside of Batman's cape, using its tiny claws to climb over the ridges and plates in Batman's armor and hang itself on his back, underneath his cape. The woman now went pale as she looked back to Batman. Her hands uncertain of what to do.

"I am terribly sorry sir. This should have never happened. He fell asleep yesterday when I had left him out of his cage to stretch and I couldn't find him. You see Bat's like him turn invisible when they sleep. It's a mechanism they developed to avoid predators. He's been able to get away from me until now. He really is a gentle little guy, I've been told he'll even deliver mail, but nobody really wants to take home a bat that tends to dive bomb them from the ceiling and scare them witless. It doesn't help that his likes to hide himself up in the rafters and is rather shy. But it seems he rather likes you." Batman did not get a chance to respond as Hagrid bellowed loudly.

"We'll take 'im!" Batman growled lightly and made to protest. He did not want to be saddled with this unnecessary responsibility.

"That will not be possible. The list clearly states that only a cat owl or toad are permitted. We will be leaving the bat here." Hagrid chuckled briefly before he swatted the air, stirring up the stagnate current in the room.

"Nonsense, I'm sure the headmaster won't mind. The Weasley's have been allowed their pet rat for the past eleven years. Ugly little bugger. Percy brought 'im to me once when he had a case of the flu. Strange thing for a rat to catch, but there you go." Batman was then left completely out of the decision as the woman who had now introduced herself as Terra, gave him a book on _Media Nocte Vespertiliones, _Midnight Bats, then proceeded to explain that the bat would need a steady diet of nuts and grains and should be allowed a dark enclosed space to rest during the day.

While Hagrid scrounged around for three galleons, as Batman had chosen not to inform him of the five in his belt, Batman looked to the creature that had shifted to the front of his chest when it became clear it was not going to be required to move from its roost. It's head poked out upside-down from Batman's cape as it looked around. Batman only mental sighed as it disappeared back under the black fabric. "A Nightmare indeed." The bat gave a happy chirp when it recognized its name as it pressed itself closer to Batman's armor.


	3. Chapter 3

AN:/ Okay guys here's the third one. Dont' keep expecting these fast updates. I just felt like writing today, so I finished this and cranked it out to you. Once again, not sure when I will be updating next. Possibly soon, possibly not. It all depends so dont' hold your breath.

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**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter Three

by:deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: Tuesday, January 8, 2013, 6:39PM_

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Batman had spent the remainder of his evening after they returned from their shopping doing two things. Researching Dementors, and Preparing for his first day of classes.

When Hagrid and Batman had teleported back to the school it had been necessary to appear outside the school grounds and walk in. This is when he had had his first encounter with a Dementor, a creature that Hagrid had described as guards of a wizarding prison that kissed the souls out of people, feeding on happiness. This description alone would have warranted further research, however as soon as he had gotten close to one of the creatures he could feel himself slipping. Batman truly had very few happy memories, but the creatures had pushed those away and made him start to become agitated, he could feel himself starting to loose the control that kept him from disobeying his one rule. It was not acceptable to be vulnerable to those creatures, and he would need immediate countermeasures to ensure his and others safety.

Upon further questioning, Hagrid had revealed that the Dementors were there as a form of 'protection' against an escaped mass murderer Sirius Black who was reportedly going after one infamous Harry Potter. So while Batman had been intrigued and planned to look further into the case, it was not as immediately urgent as a defense against Dementors was. It had been a very simple thing to go the library and select a few books on what he needed. However Batman was becoming increasingly frustrated with the authorship of this wizarding world, as it was very difficult to get anything unbiased or straight forward, even from the scholarly works that he had picked up. It seemed that this society had no clue as to how to construct a proper scholarly article: unbiased and well informed.

So a majority of the night had been spent trying to decipher something from all of the books he had gathered, and coming to the conclusion that the only defense wizards had come up with for such creatures was naturally, a spell, _expecto patronum _. Batman decided that he would make it a point to master this spell, if reluctantly, so that he would be ready for an encounter with one of the creatures until he could come up with an alternate defense, preferably one that did not rely on magic. Unfortunately for this temporary countermeasure to be effective Batman would need to keep his wand on him at all times. It had quickly found a niche in his left gauntlet where it would be easily accessible if the need should arise.

After Batman had temporarily satisfied his search on Dementors he had started to read through the textbooks that had been purchased for him. After a quick perusal of all the books he decided to start with 'the standard Book of spells, year one'. This book appeared to cover the basic technique and theory that would apply to all of his 'education' here.

Of course Batman was not overly excited about studying magic, much less being asked to preform it. However if this was a skill Batman was going to have, then he was going to master it completely before he was satisfied. So it was with a mix of resentment and curiosity that he read the introduction of The Standard Book of Spells, year one. The very first chapter focused on one thing, and one thing only: that spell casting is said to be ten percent wand movement, ten percent pronunciation, and eighty percent intent. The author stressed very heavily the importance of focus and clarity whenever a witch or wizard attempted to cast a spell. And that by and large, the secret to casting any spell successfully, was being able to know exactly what you wanted to happen, and then being able to command that thing to happen. It went on to discuss how this reliance on intent, rather than movement or speech is what allowed wizards with different accents to use the same spells, or how errors in movement could be allowed shortened, or taken out all together. Briefly the book touched on the fact that silent spell casting was achieved with sufficient will power and intent.

Batman was secretly relived as he read on about the theory of the supposed magic he was now in possession of. If it operated as this author had elaborated, then it would not be difficult to keep under control. Batman was not going to blindly believe what a single authority had published on the subject, however, and until he could read other points of view, and gain experience for himself, he was not going to let the majority of his anxiety fall away.

With this thought he allowed that it would certainly be in his favor if silent spell casting was a matter of focusing, because Batman was not at all looking forward to saying some of the spells he had glimpsed out loud. The mere action of waving a stick while saying some made up word was so childish and undignified that Batman truly hopped he could uncover the key to silence as quickly as possible.

As Batman felt the drain of being awake so long on his body, he put his books away and set himself down in a lotus position on the bed. He knew that he would need a genuine night of sleep soon. But he would not risk it until he was certain he was completely safe and unreachable. He also needed to give his armor and himself a good wash. He was starting to smell, and his head was becoming uncomfortably greasy underneath the cowl.

It seemed only a moment had passed when Batman 'woke up' and got ready for the day. Today he did one hundred squats, leg lifts, and jumping jacks before he left his room. With more quickness than the previous day Batman made his way to the great hall for breakfast, and once again, dropped from the ceiling before he entered the hall. Just like yesterday his appearance caused several screams, but he ignored them in favor of walking into the hall and finding something to eat. As much as he did not want to eat in front of others, he admitted that his body needed the sustenance. Batman mentally added 'finding the kitchens' to his long list of mental puzzles that needed solving. Once he had found the kitchens he could skip meals all together and spend more of his time researching.

More immediately important than finding the kitchens, however, was finding a place to sit. Upon his entrance to the Great Hall, Batman did not miss that the chair that was beside Hagrid the day before was no longer present. In fact the table did not even appear to be long enough to seat another as it had the day before.

A quick glance to the old man over the loudly gossiping student population, and Batman knew he would be sitting with the students today. The man's eyes were twinkling so badly that Batman could see it all the way across the hall.

Several possibilities flitted across Batman's mind. He could skip breakfast and walk right back out of the Great Hall, but ultimately he did need to eat and he would only be able to skip so many meals before he would inevitably run into this problem again. He could make himself a plate of food, and then leave the Hall, but a lifetime of being coached by Alfred Pennyworth in the ways of proper dinning etiquette would not allow Batman the luxury of doing so without copious amounts of shame. Batman thought for a brief moment that maybe if he ate up in the unseen rafters, he could avoid sitting or interacting with anyone, but once again Alfred got in the way. That and he supposed that plan of action would ultimately gain him more attention than he would prefer.

So it was with absolutely no other acceptable option that Batman appeared to glide over to the table decorated with silver and green to have a plate of eggs and fruit.

Like he was wearing some sort of unseen silencer, the students that he came in even a remote proximity to would cease their talking as he passed, only to start up again louder than ever once he had passed. Batman was more than pleased with this effect, as he had absolutely no desire to talk to anyone. So when Batman got to the end of the Slytherin table where all of the First years were sitting he fully expected to be able to eat in peace. Batman had chosen to sit with the youngest for multiple reasons. They were the end of the table he had come up to first, and he would supposedly be following these students through their day. It would be best that they have the chance to acclimate to his presence. He had been informed by all of his partners at various points through his career, that to a small child, he was a very scary person no matter if he had just saved their lives. In fact he had been informed that that often made him seem scarier.

So with nothing but a glance from Batman the exceedingly pale children scooted around and made a very large space for Batman to sit at the table. Without acknowledging the movement Batman fluidly arranged himself on the bench and started to assemble his plate. None of the children around him talked, while at the same time none of them could seem to look away. Several of them flinched as Batman extended his arm over the table and he revealed his painful looking gauntlets and knuckles.

Batmen choose to ignore the children staring at him, and to eat his Breakfast as quickly as was acceptable. Slowly seeing that Batman was not going to go on a murderous rampage, the eleven year olds surrounding him started to eat their own meals.

It had been a very quiet five minutes before all of the children surrounding him let out a scream when Batman's arm silently snapped up before his face. The Hall went momentarily silent as every eye was traced on Batman and the children all leaning fearfully away from him.

Batman glared as he slowly opened his hand, to reveal a piece of French toast covered in syrup that had been thrown at him from further down the table. Batman stared at the toast in his hand for a moment before his eyes moved slowly over the table and seemed to lock on to three people at once. Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, and Draco Malfoy.

Tentative whispers broke out over the hall as Batman rose out of his seat and started to walk towards the three teenagers. Out of the corner of his eye, Batman saw that the old man was physically restraining Severus Snape from standing to intervene.

Finally Batman was directly behind the three. They were all stubbornly looking down at their plates, even as they felt fear start to creep up on them, their necks flushing red in their nerves. Batman loomed over Crabbe, who he knew had thrown the bread. Slowly Batman reached over Crabbe's shoulder and placed the toast back on the plate. The three boys were motionless, as they could see the shadow that Batman was casting over them. Hope started to blossom in their chests when Batman withdrew his hand from in front of them. However fear crept back worse than before when Batman made no move from his position behind the three.

The Hall was silent as Batman loomed over the trio. Batman waited patiently for the tension to build to its peek as the boys in front of him became more and more nervous. He waited for the ideas of what he could do to them flash through their heads, he waited for the anticipation to become so great that he saw a bead of sweat roll down the blonde's neck. And then he turned and walked out of the Hall to get ready for his first class.

After a quick trip to a vacant bathroom to clean the syrup off of his gloves, Batman moved to find his first class. Which would be Transfiguration with a Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall. When he found the correct classroom, no one was present and the door was locked. Even though no lock was present on the door, it would not budge from its frame, seemingly stuck there. Batman narrowed his eyes at the door before he lifted himself up to the rafters to wait. It was about ten minutes before an older woman came briskly down the hallway. She promptly unsheathed her wand and tapped the door knob before the door obligingly swung open.

Before the woman could choose to turn around or shut the door behind her, Batman silently dropped from the ceiling and attached himself to her like a shadow. Batman needn't have worried about her turning around to close the door, She purposefully strode into the room, the desk at the front of the class her obvious destination. As soon as Batman was through the threshold he darted to the side and into a crouch, hiding bellow the table tops and in the unused corners of the room, but still keeping his eyes on the target.

He was not at all pleased when he saw the woman morph quickly into a tabby cat with the markings of glasses around her eyes. He watched, skeptically, as the cat settled itself down on the desk, seemingly to wait for something. Batman stilled himself even further, unsure of the cats ability to sense him or how much of the woman was a cat, or if the woman was predominately a feline.

Slowly students started to trickle in. Batman maneuvered himself around the room in order to stay hidden. Eventually the clock at the back of the room read nine thirty, and all of the students were present. Some of the Slytherin students were chuckling as they had been informed by their elders of the trick McGonagall liked to play. Their Hufflepuff counterparts however, were not so informed and turned to one another quietly guessing where their professor could be. The cat continued to wait as the children got louder and louder, seemingly waiting for something. When Ten minutes passed and that something still hadn't happened and some of the Hufflepuff's were contemplating leaving to go get another teacher, the cat leapt off of the desk and in mid flight, changed back to a stern looking woman, her heals lightly clacking as she landed upright on the floor amongst silent gasps.

"There is no need to fetch anyone, Mr. Gilligan. I had simply been waiting for our last student to arrive, however it seems as if he has chosen to skip. Allow me to step outside for a moment to inform the headmaster and then we may begin." McGonagall was interrupted on her way to the door, by several short screams as Batman stood up from his hiding place, behind the professors desk. McGonagall whipped around to see Batman walking out from behind her desk and towards the only open chair available. The small mousy Hufflepuff girl with braces and pigtails was visibly shaking in fear as the man sat down next to her. McGonagall was very visibly flustered as she watched the man sit himself down in the chair. However she got over herself quickly enough.

"Well, I suppose now that that is taken care of we may start the lesson. What I have just displayed for you all is an ability held by only the most skilled at transfiguration. I am what you would call an Animagus. An animagus is a witch or wizard who has gained the ability to transform into an animal. It is a very complicated and dangerous skill, and all animagi are registered with the ministry, for lawful precautions of course. None of you will be skilled enough to preform the animagus transformation for a long while yet, but I can assure you that if you maintain a diligence in this class, you will eventually be offered the opportunity to learn. Transfiguration is some of the most dangerous magic you will be learning here at Hogwarts. It is complex and versatile and easily misused. Anyone found messing around in my class will leave and not come back, you have been warned." She made to look around the class and make eye contact with everyone. She tried to keep up her warning look for the grown man in the bat costume at the back of her room, but she found herself superstitiously glancing over him. Whether it was nervousness, exasperation, or fear she wasn't sure. "However today, we will be starting out small."

With this McGonagall picked up a box and removed the lid and started to make her way around the room passing out matches. Once everyone had a match she turned back to the class and set her own match down on her desk as she explained, her wand held delicately between her fingers.

"Today we will be turning matches into sewing needles. It is the simplest of all transfiguration spells." Mcgonagall turned to the match on her desk and flicked her wand as she spoke clearly for everyone to hear. "Factus Acus." The match nearly immediately turned into a shiny needle.

"Now the rest of you repeat the incantation after me before we begin. Factus Acus." There was a grumbled and uncertain _Factus Acus _from the rest of the class and a small frown appeared on McGonagall's face.

"That won't do. None of you will be completing this spell with that sort of effort. We'll try again. Factus Acus." Now the response form the class was stronger.

"_Factus Acus." _McGonagall gave a small smile.

"Good, you have the rest of the period, you may begin." Eager to try out their first spell the rom was immediately filled with exclamations of _Factus Acus!_ Of course there was one student not at all keen on attempting the spell. Batman did not even reach for the wand in his gauntlet. Instead he leaned back in his chair and watched the rest of the room. He found his lips pursing together at the non results that were immediately apparent. He had only just been instructed of how to preform this spell and he could already pick out flaws in each and every students execution. They were not at all focused on the appropriate faucets of the spell. Movements that were supposed to be flicks were flourishes; spells were being shouted not spoken.

If this were Batman's class he would have stopped immediately and made sure everyone knew exactly what was wrong with what they were doing. Instead they were allowed to go on, producing unpredictable results. Batman found his eyes furrowing as McGonagall made her way around the room, but did not stop to help unless she was asked, and then only supplied minimal guidance.

Batman knew what she was attempting to do. She wanted the students to figure out for themselves how the spell worked and what was necessary to complete it. There was nothing wrong with this teaching style, but Batman was of the persuasion that it should only be used in instances where mistakes were not capable of volatile results. He frowned upon the willing danger the teacher was putting her students in.

He could see the students getting more frustrated as they continued to be unsuccessful at what they had been told was the easiest of all spells in this subject. Batman did not intervene, as this was not his classroom, but he disproved of McGonagall asking her students to preform magic when they were not capable of controlling their anger, and potentially unaware of how this would affect their results. Batman only knew this much because of the brief introduction he had read, and he was infinitely familiar with how anger could cloud someone's focus.

Batman came back to himself as he felt McGonagall come up beside him, he arms crossed as she peered through her spectacles.

"Is there a problem Mr. Batman?" Batman paused before he looked up to the Professor.

"No." Mcgonagall looked confused for a moment before she spoke again,

"Then if you would please demonstrate the spell for me." Batman didn't acknowledge the command other than flicking his wrist. A long black wand shot into Batman's right palm. Without pause Batman looked to the match on the table and commanded _factus acus, _as if he were giving someone an order on a mission that he expected to be followed imeditaly and without question. The match twitched before it shifted to a small metal needle. Batman calmly slid his wand back into his gauntlet as he handed the professor the needle.

McGonagall gapped for a moment before she took the small needle, acidenatlly pricking herself with it and drawing a small beed of blood from her fingertip. She looked it over regardless and placed it back on the table when she was satisfied. A quick wave of her wand and the needle was a match again.

"V-very good. Five points to Slytherin." Still slightly flustered she moved on to the small girl beside him.

"Let's see your attempt then, Miss Tieilima." After Bethany Teilima saw that Batman was not going to spontaneously attack her she had started to practice on her match and had so far been unsuccessful. However when the professor turned to her, her mouth was still open from watching Batman complete the spell on his first try. When the attention was turned to her she blushed furiously before she hurriedly pointed her wand at the match on the table.

"Factus Acus!" the match rolled towards the edge of the desk and stopped just before falling off the edge. The little girl looked to her lap her entire face a shade of red in shame as McGonagall commented.

"I'd best to let you keep practicing then." With that McGonagall was moving away to go to the next table. Batman remained motionless, staring forward as the little girl beside him seemed on the verge of tears. He desperately hoped she would not break down completely, and his wishes were granted when the girl seemed to take a few deep breaths as she closed her eyes. He watched gratefully as the color slowly started to fade from her face. She sat for a moment, clearly giving herself a pep talk. Hesitantly she looked to her side to see if Batman was watching her, only to see Batman as staunchly ridged as he had been before. Reassured that he wasn't watching she pointed her wand at the match once more.

"Factus Acus." The match quivered but nothing happened. Batman continued to watch out of the corner of his eye.

"Factus acus." The match lifted up off the table an inch before it fell. Now there was a pause and Batman could see the girls posture starting to slump as a red color started to flush up her neck.

"Factus acus." The match quivered, lay still for a moment, and then the phosphorus on the end spontaneously caught fire as if it had been struck. Before the girl even had the chance to react to her third failure Batman's hand snapped over the match and put it out.

The girl luckily didn't scream, but did recoil in her chair with wide eyes. She turned as she watched Batman's spiked arm retract from the table carrying the match with it. She shrunk on herself slightly as Batman brought the match up to examine to his satisfaction. He grunted lowly as he put the match down on the table.

Batman was not at all pleased. Just as he predicted, the children would not be able to control their emotional reactions to failure and it would produce volatile results. He had put out the match quickly enough that only the head of the match was burnt, the rest of it unaffected. He did not however, give it back to the girl, as he didn't know what would happen if this spell were attempted on a used match. Instead he slid his own match in front of the girl before he looked to her. Her eyes were still wide and she was now too shocked to even think of breathing, much less crying. Batman spoke quietly and without too much authority, not wanting to set the girl off and causing more havoc.

"You have no expectation. When you preform the spell, you do not believe you will be successful. You are in charge of that match, and it will turn into a needle when you _command _it to. There should be no doubt in your mind. Preform the spell _knowing _the outcome not wishing for it. Try again." The girl snapped out of it when Batman issued the command and immediately went to try again only for Batman's arm to snap out and catch her wrist gently. She jerked back, but Batman did not let go.

"You are in charge, it will change because you command it to. Not because I told you to command it. Do you understand?" The girl looked from where Batman was lightly grabbing her wrist, to his mask and those blank white eyes. However when she looked closely they weren't completely blank, but she couldn't see what it was that made them seem that way. She nodded slowly and Batman grunted as he let go of the girl's wrist. She drew her hand back to herself and glanced between Batman and the match a couple of times before she took a breath and nodded to herself. She furrowed her brow and stared at the match for a long moment before her wand came up.

"Factus acus!" The match shuddered for a moment before it laid still, and then slowly, very slowly, it started to gain a metallic sheen and sharpen at one end. The match head was still there, but she had gotten further than she had all hour. She turned to look for the Batman's approval with a beaming smile but when she turned to the side, he was gone.

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The remainder of Transfiguration and the time spent before his next class, forty three minutes, was spent in the unused crevasses of the library, researching Dementors, expecto patronum, and animagi. The first two obviously related.

While he did continue his quest to find a non-magical defense against Dementors, he spent a majority of the time looking up the technique required to cast the established spell. This is when he ran into a rather difficult roadblock.

There were variations on the suggested approach, but the basic instruction to cast the spell was the same no matter what book he picked up. To cast a patronus, he would need to summon a sufficiently cheerful memory, and focus on that as he cast the spell. As he would have it, Batman spent the better part of twenty minutes trying to think of a truly happy memory, and he could not come up with even one.

He brought up to the fore several that he thought would do the job before he realized that they wouldn't exactly qualify. His decision to become Batman was not a happy decision. It had brought him a sense of relief, of meaning, and direction, but it wasn't a happy feeling. He thought of Alfred's quips and dry humor, but those were not of sufficient strength as his sources had indicated. He attempted to think of something he remembered from when his parents were alive, but the inheritress of the thoughts being tied to his parents ensured that those wouldn't do. He thought of the feeling he got when he adopted Dick, Jason, Cassandra, and Tim, but those memories were not focused on happiness, but pride, relief, and love, tied closely to feelings of anxiety and responsibility. He supposed that those memories were as close to true happiness as he would come at the moment, and decided that before the day was over he would find a place to practice and attempt the spell.

After determining his memory for a patronus charm, he still had about ten minutes until he needed to go anywhere so he decided to start research on animagus. He had not gotten far and intended to read further, but he had gotten far enough into the introduction that he knew it took dedication and skill to become and animagus, and that you did not get to choose the animal you changed into. However once the training was complete, a witch or wizard could transform at will, with or without a wand. It is also understood that in animal form they retain a human like awareness, but that their emotional capacity is severely simplified.

Before Batman had time to read any further he needed to get moving to his next class, which happened to be flying lessons. They would be taking place outside in the direct sunlight in an open field beside the castle, so Batman would have no place to hide until he was ready to show himself. It was unfortunate, but an acceptable sacrifice. Batman was only convincing himself to do this because he knew there would be small children ridding on brooms that would very probably need catching. This and only this, was what made Batman decide to participate. He wanted to grimace at the very idea of him ridding on a broom, of all things, but he would do it because he could not get the image of a child splattered on the ground out of his head. That and Dick would very likely have an epileptic fit if he knew Bruce had this oprotunity and passed it by.

Before he made his way outside he conducted a check of his grapple to ensure that the modifications would work properly. Normally it operated with electricity, as this was a thinner, lighter, faster way to shoot out a line, that also allowed him to reel it back in as he swung, propelling him upwards. However being such an essential part of his arsenal, Batman made sure to keep three canisters of compressed air in his belt as backup if the line ever malfunctioned. His original jump line had been gas operated, before Fox had come up with the newer more efficient version. The gas shot the line out slower, and without electrical power he would lose the reeling ability, but he would still be able to catch himself or someone else if he fell.

In the case of his cape's glider function, that would be on a temporary fix as well. Normally it operated when an electric charge was run through the fabric. There were sections of a special metallic compound sewn into all the edges of the material. When given a charge, they would align into a structure nearly as strong as steel the fragments also weighted the cape so that he could use it to stun enemies. The pulse also magnetized two pieces of metal near the foot of his cape, so that when he jumped the cape would stiffen and stick to his heels, where corresponding magnets were placed.

However instead of relying on electricity to do all of the work he was going to have to improvise. He would lose a good deal of his efficiency in flight, but instead of keeping his hands free, he would grab the cape and extend his arms to keep it taught that way instead. The pattern the cape was sewn in would do most of the work regardless; he just needed to give it a support.

The magnets that stuck the cape to his heels would be another problem. He could not activate the magnets in his cape without an electrical charge, however there were the magnets in both of his boots that were always magnetized. It was due in large part to the fact that they were surrounded by a special demagnetized covering and armor that they didn't constantly attach his feet to metal surfaces. However that could be easily changed. The magnets, along with being the catch points for the ones in his cape, were there so that he could slide himself up metal walls and air vents when the covering keeping them dulled down was removed. The soles of his shoes made sure that he didn't make too much noise, while the strength of the magnet held his weight as he climbed upward. All he would have to do was take one of the magnets in his shoes, undue the covering and place the end of his cape between the two magnets as he brought them together. He wouldn't be able to unstick them until he had a wedge and some proper time as the magnets were too powerful o be pulled apart with human strength, but they would keep him airborne for the moment and that was what mattered.

So Batman fixed the magnets to his left foot to keep the edge of his cape in place, and put a canister of air in his grapple before he made his way outside.

Even as early as he was he was nearly the last one there. Their instructor was out over the area they would be using, waving her wand around and obviously casting some sort of spell. The rest of the students paused as he approached, but were too excited to take much notice and whispered furiously to each other despite his presence. He saw that each of the students were standing next to a broom so he selected one for himself as well, and stood as still as a statue as he waited for the lesson to begin. While waiting Batman looked down to the broom beside him for a moment, inspecting it and trying to plan a way to look dignified and sufficiently terrifying while ridding it. However as soon as he saw it, he could not help but glare at it and how utterly pathetic this entire idea was. After a moment under Batman's complete loathing the broom started to shiver and the twigs all started to snap back into their correct place if they had been bent. Before Batman could growl at the inanimate object the woman who had been flying around before landed with a thud.

"Good afternoon. Now that we're all here we can get started. Under no circumstance are you to so much as touch a broom without mine or a teachers supervision. You will follow my instructions to the letter and follow my orders immediately. That means when I say it is time to come down you will come down, and you will not take off a moment before I say, or else you will not be allowed out here on broom again. Do you understand?" The students were doing their best to look sober as they nodded. They were failing horribly. Madam Hooch looked them all over and to her credit only faltered momentarily when she came upon Batman's emotionless white pits staring right back.

"Good. Now, stick your hand above your broom and say UP!" Madame Hooch's broom, which had been previously on the ground once she had landed, immediately sprung up to her hand like an obedient dog. The class was silent for a moment before Hooch was shooing the students at their brooms.

"Go on then!" Immediately calls of 'up' were being said loudly by all. Batman watched for a moment as the students brooms did anything but 'up'. Some of them rolled around, others awkwardly jumped off of the ground, some spun around and wacked the shins of whoever was nearby. Batman watched all of this until some of the students started to achieve success, much to their own delight. It was then that he decided he might as well get this over with.

Batman glared down at the broom on the ground as he stuck his hand out over the thin piece of wood. Before Batman could even breathe to command the broom up, it zoomed upward and loudly smacked his downturned palm so hard that it would have been painful if Batman were not wearing gloves.

Batman looked up and saw that the instructor along with the students immediately surrounding him were looking at him with open mouths. Batman growled lightly at the broom as he tightened his fist around the handle. Hooch shook herself back to awareness before she was back to addressing the class, who had managed to get their brooms into their outstretched hands one way or another.

"Right then. To mount your broom, swing your let leg over and into the foothold, leaving you to push off with your right. Do NOT push off until I blow the whistle. You should arrange your hands on the grip like so. Palms should be facing eachother, thumbs pointing upward, so that when you direct the broom you are not pushing it upwards or downwards." Hooch went around correcting people's grips and footholds before she mounted her own broom, her whistle in her hand.

"On my whistle we are going to push off and rise into the air. Nothing above five feet. Do not do anything else until I tell you to. Get ready. One, two…" Hooch blew the whistle and everyone rose into the air, though speed and height varied. Some shot straight upward twenty feet with a short scream before they calmed down enough to slowly float downward on Hooch's instruction. Some hovered a comfortable inch to two off of the ground and were slowly working up the nerve to make themselves go higher. Others did what could only be described as a jump upward without the resulting fall. Some did literally jump and collapsed on the ground before they got back on to their brooms, flushed with embarrassment, to try again. There was one girl so nervous that she jumped right off of her broom and it continued upward without her for about ten feet before it realized it didn't have a rider and proceed to fall some twenty yards away. Then of course there were the children who had done this before and rose into the air with confidence and ease to about five feet, or a little bit higher.

Batman waited a moment until everyone else had tried and studied the technique and the results they produced of those around him. He then copied the stance and movements of those that were successful.

In one fluid motion Batman shifted his weight to his left foot and gave a solid push off the ground. The broom obliged and rose into the air quickly at first, and slowing to a stop as he was at about five feet. As if he were an object that had been thrown upwards and at the apex of the arch, gravity had decided to just not care anymore.

By now Hooch had most of the class under control and she was smiling, even as some were very obviously close to tears completely terrified.

"Alright. Very good, all of you. By the end of the class I would like everyone to have made it around the pitch at least once. For those of you that are comfortable, You may use the one of the quaffles I have placed in the center of the field for a quick game, or just to fly around at your leisure. I do not want any dangerous tricks however. And you must stay within the pitch, I have placed wards at a height limit of one hundred yards. If you complete your one lap and you find that you still think flying is not for you, you may land and do what you will with the remainder of the time. Along side the quaffle are a muggle soccer-ball and a number of jump ropes." With a nod of dismissal, the class of first years happily started to make their way around the pitch. A number of boys and a few girls immediately zoomed forward, quickly completing their own lap before heading straight for the quaffles in the middle of the pitch. Then there were the less confident, and slightly wary who had taken off with an equal amount of gusto, but not as much speed or experience. Shortly after the first group, these were the students to finish and tentatively ask if the first group would teach them how to play games on their brooms.

And then there were the stragglers. The children terrified out of their wits. They had all gravitated into a tight clump, feeling more secure when they had at least some imaginary support on their sides. And because he was Batman, this was the group he stayed with as they slowly, jerkily, and painstakingly made their way around the pitch.

Truthfully Batman could have easily been around the pitch with the first group. Essentially, the broom was a glorified Segway that could fly. Batman arguably had better control of his body than anyone presently alive, so steering the broom with his body weight and movements was no problem for him.

Madame Hooch did attempt to stay with the not as confident, but she was quickly drawn away by a group of boys attempting to dare one of the first time flyers to stand on his broom. Most of the children were so focused on their gripping terror and distance from the ground that they didn't notice her absence, however there was one who watched with growing panic as the teacher flew rapidly away. The boy's broom started to shake more and more violently as he gripped it for dear life.

Batman grunted and frowned as he zoomed from his position below the students. As if he were ridding a horse Batman gripped the broom between his thighs as he made sure to come in wide, giving the frightened child time to register that he was moving towards him, and not startle him off his broom completely. The Child looked up with terror in his eyes and it was just then that he seemed he would loose his balance and fall to the ground that Batman reached out and grabbed the end of the boys broom with one hand and steadied his shoulder with the other.

Immediately the broom stopped shaking and was as steady as the broom Batman himself was ridding. The boy was breathing heavily as he was valiantly attempting to hold back tears. Fortunately for Batman comforting terrified children was an area he happened to have a lot of experience with, despite the inherent terror that he usually caused in the people who interacted with him.

"Look at me." Batman's voice was soft and low but didn't lack authority. The child's eyes were glued on his impending doom. He hesitantly flicked his gaze between Batman and the ground. Batman lightly squeezed the boy's shoulder as he spoke again.

"What is your name son?" The boy's gaze flicked to Batman for the longest time yet as he responded.

"J-Justin." Batman lightly grunted in acknowledgement.

"Justin, the reason you are looking at the ground is because your body uses it to keep its equilibrium, and you feel more comfortable when you have it in your line of sight. Unfortunately this also makes you painfully aware of your position. There is a simple solution to this problem, look at the towers around you or the horizon to keep your bearings instead. I will be here to keep you steady if this doesn't work. Justin I need you to look up and forget about the ground for me. So that I can help you." Justin nodded and he took a huge breath before he started to trace the ground up to the horizon off in the distance, gluing his eyes there instead. A hesitant smile appeared on his face when he saw that Batman's advice was working.

"You are doing well Justin. You don't have to look at me but I need a nod or a shake if you are ready to try something with me." Justin was feeling braver by the minute, Batman's hand still steadying his broom. Justin glanced to Batman a couple of times before snapping his eyes back the horizon, stubbornly not looking down. After a long moment of making sure he had his bearings Justin looked over and nodded his head. Batman grunted again to let Justin know he had seen him now that his eyes were back on the Horizon.

"Justin do you have a bike at home that you know how to ride?" Justin nodded his head as he gripped the broom handle.

"What color is it" Justin looked rapidly between the horizon and Batman with a curious look before he stuttered.

"G-g-green."

"When did you get your bike?" Justin seemed less confused now and just focused on answering the questions.

"At Christmas two years ago. My dad wrapped it up so that the entire bike was covered like it had been painted with wrapping paper. We laughed for an hour trying to get it off."

"Justin I want you to describe for me how you take a turn on your bike." Justin's muscles were starting to relax, and this is exactly what Batman needed. With the boy so tense he was bound to loose control. He would have to move with the broom instead of on top of it. Justin seemed puzzled with the question again before he answered.

"Well you kind of lean into the turn and turn the handles a bit. Don't you know how to ride a bike?" Batman could not hold back a smirk at the conclusion the boy had drawn based on the questions he had asked.

"I do. And that is why I can tell you that ridding this broom is like ridding a bike, except that it turns in every direction. You are tense and that is why your broom shakes. Use your weight, like you would when you turn your bike, and you will be fine." Justin looked back and forth between Batman and the horizon a couple of times before he nodded.

"Okay. I can try but you have to stay right here in case I need you!" Batman smirked again.

"I will be right here, and I will catch you if you fall." Justin nodded seriously at the reassurance before he took a large breath.

"Okay, l-let go."

"I already did."

"But the broom isn't shaking."

"Justin I haven't been holding onto your broom since you told me what color your bike was." Fear, then anxiety, then confusion, then joy all rapidly passed across Justin's face. He flicked his gaze down to the handle of the broom before he glued his eyes back to the horizon.

"You're having me on."

"No, I'm telling the truth. We've already made it halfway around the pitch, a small ways further than the others, I'm afraid. You sped up a little when you started talking about Christmas." Justin was positively beaming!

"This is great. I'm doing it! Thank you, we have to go tell the others. This isn't hard at all!" Batman smirked as he watched Justin experimentally shift his weight and sway slowly from side to side. He had chosen to 'disappear', hovering bellow just in case he fell.

"Are you still there?" A note of fear crept into Justin's voice before he stopped himself and focused on the horizon. Never daring to look down.

"I'm going to be fine. He said I had been doing it for a while. I can do this, I can do this. Okay. Just lean a little bit." And then Justin slowly turned around to tell the rest of the kids still huddled in a clump the amazing tid-bits he had just learned.

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"Expecto Patronum!" Batman flourished his wand once more and nothing but a wisp of white mist came out. It was now dark out, classes and dinner were over and he was now back in his rooms, the most secure place he knew of at the moment, practicing spells. Batman clenched the wand in his hand. This was unacceptable. This memory had to be strong enough. People said that there was nothing better than becoming a Parent. The feeling he could recall after every adoption and acknowledgment reinforced that statement but it was not enough. When he focused on the memory, the most he could produce was a small white mist. Further research would be needed. He must be doing something wrong.

There was a tentative almost sympathetic squeak from the corner. And Batman looked up to see the Nightmare had lodged himself in an exposed support beam. Batman looked skeptically up to the bat before he shook his head and put the wand back into his gauntlet.

He needed to take a shower. He could smell himself. However his security was still compromised, so he would have to do it with a mask on. Batman walked into the bedroom and ripped the sheets off of the bed. With a quick slice of his arms there was a rip in the white sheet. A quick pull and Batman had a piece of cloth he could use to cover his face. He popped a knife out of the side of his boot and cut two triangle eye holes in the cloth. He disassembled himself until there was nothing on him but his underwear and his cowl. Flinging the remainder of the queen sized sheet over himself, as if he were attempting to be a ghost, he removed his cowl and tied the fabric around his head before he uncovered himself.

The next three hours were spent washing himself, his armor, and anything else washable until he was satisfied and did not feel like a walking grease monster who had not cleaned himself in over three days.


	4. Chapter 4

AN:/ It's my fanfic! I can do what I want!... No really though. I'm apologizing in advance. I really really just could NOT help myself. It was jsut so perfect and I HAD TO DO IT! And it is my fanfic, so its not like theres anything you can do about it. Rest assured the rest of the story is not likely to deteriorate to this level of crack anytime soon. and I know comparatively it's short, but you can deal with it because its an update that is still about five thousand words.

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**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter Four

by:deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: Friday, January 11, 2013, 12:17AM_

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"He's up to something Albus. He had no trouble with the spell I assigned, as someone would is just discovering magic would. He completed it near perfectly on his first attempt. And he somehow appeared in the classroom behind my desk without my being aware of him coming in. Its not safe to keep him around the children." Albus Dumbledore considered the ruffled and anxious witch before his desk for a moment before he reached forward, grabbed a small yellow candy out of a dish on his desk, and popped it into his mouth. He silently offered one to the guest in his office with a pointed look but she shook her head in decline.

Dumbledore sighed as he leaned back and sucked on the candy in his mouth. "I am well aware of the concern Minerva. However he is hardly the first to pass through these halls with an exceptional affinity for magic. Madame Hooch has reported that he is excellent on a broom and was able to assist the younger less confidant fliers when she was drawn away. Hagrid seems rather fond of him, and had nothing to say other than he seems very quiet. Severus of course is not fond of the man, but he might be biased. I imagine he doesn't quite like the competition over his title as 'dungeon bat'." There was a laugh in Dumbledore's eyes as Minerva looked upon him with a defiant huff.

"You need to keep a closer eye on him. We don't know what he's capable of and it's completely absurd to put the students at risk. He's not what he tells us. At the least he is lying to us about his magical ability. He uses it as if he is used to the idea. He has complete control." Albus considered for a moment before he started to tilt his head back and forth, causing the flap of his pointed hat to flop back and forth over his head.

"Perhaps he _is_ familiar with magic." Minerva raised her eyebrows skeptically at the headmaster knowing there was more to it than that. She was proven right when the headmaster stopped lolling his head around and leaned forward. "Perhaps the idea of something so exotic exists where he comes from, but he was never aware of possessing the ability until now. Perhaps he is from a place where his ability of magic is frowned upon and he wishes to hide it from us. Perhaps he is lying to us and is here to destroy us all. We can't really know. However until the point he proves himself threatening, I do think he is fitting in rather well here."

Minerva threw her hands up with an eye roll before she slapped her hands down on the armrest of the chair she had been sitting in. "Just promise me you'll keep an eye on him Albus." Minerva spoke over her shoulder as she moved to the door. "I don't trust him." before Albus could reply Minerva had closed the door behind her and was on her way.

Albus twiddled with the end of his beard for a moment before he sat back in his seat and spoke to Fawkes, his phoenix. "Trust is such a fragile thing. So much harder to give than receive. Though I have found that over the years. That when we wait for the other to trust first, it is often too late." Fawkes gave an acknowledging trill and Dumbledore stood up to stroke her breast feathers.

Line Break.

Bruce had made a very un-Batman decision and kept his armor off for the night. Perhaps there was something in the soap he had used, but as soon as he had taken the extra seventy pounds of bullet/fire/tear/heat/freeze/water resistant armor off he had felt much better and more comfortable than he had in days. His suit was of course custom built and it fit him like a glove, most of the time a very comfortable glove, but that did not stop the fact that it weighted seventy pounds, and prevented a majority of his skin from breathing.

So Bruce had decided that he would keep it off for the night. He laid out his weapons within close reach before he found his position on the mattress, tightened the makeshift mask on his face, and slipped once again into a meditative state.

Only to moments latter snap out of his trance when his reflexes took over, sensing he was not alone. He came-to with a small wrinkly creature with a large head and floppy ears clutched at the neck in his fist. Bruce furrowed his brows and scowled at the small creature as it grabbed onto his fist and tried to free itself. He gave the creature a warning squeeze that caused it to gag before stopping its efforts to escape.

"Who are you." Batman brought the thing to his face with a snarl. It whimpered pitifully and Bruce loosened his grip enough to allow the creature to talk, if it was capable of speech at all.

"My name is Floppy sir. Sir I'm sorry if I've disturbed you sir. Floppy won't ever wake the Batty Man again sir!" Batman growled lowly as he looked the creature in the eyes to stare it down, establishing that he was in charge.

"You will leave if I say you can leave. What are you? How did you get in here undetected?" Floppy's eyes were starting to water. She answered the questions asked of her out of both obligation and fear. Batman was a Hogwarts Student after all, and she would have to obey him regardless.

"Floppy is a House Elf sir. Floppy gets into the rooms of the castle like she always does sir. With House Elf magic sir. I is a bad House Elf for being noticed sir. Floppy is being very sorry." Batman considered the creature in his hand for a moment before he decided it was telling the truth. He rewarded this by grabbing the elf's ankles tightly with his free hand and letting go of its neck, causing it to now be held upside down.

"You will tell me what a House Elf is, or you will start coming into a world of hurt. Talk." The house elf started to whimper and moan loudly as tears started to form.

"Oh Floppy is such a bad elf for making the Batty Man upset. Batty Man can punish Floppy however he likes." Bruce listened in morbid fascination to what was coming out the creature's mouth, but ran out of patients with this sniveling and wailing before it was even done speaking.

"I _will_ punish you if you don't explain to me exactly what you are and what you are doing in here. Now talk!" Batman jerked his hand causing the Elf to drop a small ways before jolting upwards. The creature let out an especially high pitched whine as it nodded its head rapidly.

"Floppy will tell the Batty Man! Floppy is a House Elf. A good House Elf does all of the cooking and the cleaning and takes care of their masters and is only noticed when the masters calls for Floppy. Floppy is a bad House Elf because Batty Man caught her when she was replacing the sheets and cleaning up the mess that the Batty Man had left on the floor for Floppy. Floppy is sorry sir. Floppy will never do it again!" Batman narrowed his eyes as the creature seemed to loose all control of itself and bawled hysterically, getting louder and louder. Loud enough that Batman started to worry that someone might hear it even through the stone walls and floors that separated him from the rest of the castle.

"Enough!" Immediately the creature in his grasp became completely still, a small growl escaped Batman's throat at the reaction. Those who stopped their caterwauling so easily were usually faking it, and doing it to try and gain some sympathy from him.

"Who do you work for?" The creature convulsed for a moment as if swallowing a hiccup before it opened its mouth to quietly whisper a reply.

"Floppy works for Hogwarts sir. Floppy must obey all the young masters in the castle and Dumbledore takes good care of Floppy. But Floppy does not like the Dumbledore always asking to give Floppy socks. Floppy is happy here and does not want to receive clothes to be a free elf." Batman considered the small creature for a moment before he brought its face up to his eye level again.

"Are you loyal to Hogwarts or Dumbledore?" The elf attempted to shift nervously only to find that its movement caused Batman to tighten his hold. Floppy squeaked before she started to shake her head.

"Floppy is a Hogwarts Elf. Dumbledore is in charge of Floppy, but that is only because Dumbledore is the Headmaster. Floppy would have to serve someone else if they were the headmasters, and could not leave with the Dumbledore. When Dumbledore is here Floppy must obey what master Dumbledore says. But Floppy takes care of the student's first sir. Floppy must do her best to take care of the students unless Floppy has already been told by the headmaster not to. That means that Floppy must take care of you too sir." Batman considered the elf in his grasp for a moment. He could see the elf's head starting to turn a red color from all of the blood rushing downward. He had a few more inquiries for the creature before he decided to see if he could gain any advantages from it.

"When I set you on the ground you are to remain in one spot. You will not leave; you will not move away, you will not vanish. Do you understand." The elf nodded but did so while holding its head with its long boney hands.

"Floppy will not go anywhere until master Batty Man says so." Bruce grunted before he slowly lowered the elf to the floor so that it could catch itself with its arms as he laid it on the floor. Bruce lightly dropped the elf's ankles from his grip and the elf immediately sprung up to attention, looking to Bruce with big bulbous eyes.

"Will the Batty Man punish Floppy now?" Bruce shook his head shortly as he moved himself to get off the bed.

"No, you have cooperated with me. There is no reason to." The elf looked shocked and slightly distraught for a moment before it started to shuffle in place. Bruce paused at the creatures shifting. If it was going to bolt…

"But Floppy is being a bad elf that needs to be punished sir. She is being seen when she's not supposed to. And she has made one of her Masters very upset. Batty Man should punish Floppy with a hit to the head or a kick across the room for her disgracefulness." Bruce stared at the creature as it looked back and forth between the stone wall and him as if it were resisting the urge to go over and beat itself against it. Bruce adopted a stern commanding voice as he spoke to the creature before it cold decide to start bludgeoning itself against a stone wall.

"Under no circumstance are you to punish yourself. You are never to cause yourself bodily harm. Do you understand me?" The elf looked up to Bruce with eyes so wide they nearly popped out of their sockets.

"B-But-"

"Disobey me in this, and I will make sure that the headmaster knows you want a large expensive pair of socks for Christmas this year." The elf was rightly terrified into silence. Her mouth opened and closed as if words were supposed to be coming out, but none did. She was completely mute. Bruce growled as he walked toward the trembling wrinkly being.

"I see we understand each other. You will wait for me in the other room, and when I come to get you, you will be showing me what I ask of you. You will not repeat or otherwise communicate to anyone about our interactions together, past, present, or future. If I find that you have let anyone know, through any means, about our communication; a pair of socks will be the least of your problems. Now go to the living room." With a squeak the being winked out of existence only to appear with a loud crack in the middle of the living room, visible through the bedroom door. Bruce glared at the creature as he went to close the door, assembling all of his armor and getting himself together properly. When he was ready some ten minutes later he came out of the bedroom to see the small elf in the exact location that he had left it in.

"You said you take care of the cooking here?" The little elf nodded viciously. But before it could open its mouth, Batman was speaking again. "Take me to the kitchens." The little elf nodded and immediately turned towards the door, looking back to make sure that Batman was following. She jumped when she found him directly behind her, instead of across the room where she had left him.

"Y-yes. Floppy will be happy to show the Batty Man the Kitchen. Batty Man will follow Floppy and she will go there." Batman followed the elf like a shadow through the castle. There were several moments where Floppy stopped and panicked when she thought that she had lost Batman somewhere, only for him to suddenly appear beside her with a blank look on his face.

Batman was staying hidden as the elf moved through the castle. If someone were out at this point in the night, he definitely didn't want them to know that he was there as well. It had been necessary to show himself to the elf to reassure it that he was still following, but those were only for brief moments of time. It was only a short while before the elf came to a stop before a painting of a bowl of fruit. Floppy turned, expecting the Batman to be close behind her somewhat and managing not to jump too badly.

"In order to get to the kitchens, Batty Man only has to tickle the pear in this painting." The little elf reached up and started to stroke the pair in the painting. The fruit let out a high-pitched giggle before the portrait swung outward.

Floppy did not hesitate to climb through. Batman followed warily behind. Ready to spring into action if something less than amenable greeted him on the other side. Instead he came upon a brightly lit room that seemed to be a very large kitchen of some sort. There were four tables, all in the exact same arrangement that they were in the great hall. Batman now knew where all of the food came from and how it appeared at meal times.

When Batman entered the room all of the activity stopped, and tens of pairs of bulbous eyes looked at him. It was only a moment before the little creatures were scampering towards him with their enormous eyes asking if they could do anything for him, or, with a hint of fear, if they had done anything wrong. Batman resisted the urge to sweep a kick outward to get the creatures out of his personal space. Fortunately for the elves, Batman was beginning to understand how these creatures operated, and he needed them healthy and cooperating if his prolonged stay here was going to work.

The rest of Batman's night had been spent getting individual promises from all of the house elves that worked in Hogwarts that mirrored the ones he had gotten from Floppy. Momentarily satisfied that he was safe operating through the elves and that he would not be betrayed, he gave the elves various instructions.

Only under life and death circumstances were they allowed to enter his rooms uninvited. They should expect him at odd ours for meals, and those meals would meet a strict dietary criteria that he lamented for them. It had been difficult to make sure he had a balanced meal in the Hall, and he needed proper fuel to continue at top efficiency. They would not deliver the food to him if he missed a meal. Or leave it outside his door, or anything similar. Food consumption would take place in the kitchen and that was all.

They would not clean anything of his, or attempt to clean his room remotely. He would be taking care of his own cleanliness, and he would approach them for supplies like soap and sheets when he needed them. They were not to be seen associating with him in any way. They could approach him with concerns, but they would not be guaranteed a response, and they were not allowed to be seen fraternizing with him by anyone other than himself and the other elves.

All of this was to be obeyed for threat of being given socks if they disobeyed.

After he had the elves cooperation he accepted a glass of water before he turned and left. Instead of going back to his room, he went to the library and sequestered a number of books on House Elves before he went back to his rooms and educated himself. He felt considerably better after he had done so. He knew he could not trust the elves. But he could rest in the knowledge that if they were to disobey him after he had given them these specific orders, that it was not willingly, or without coercion. He had also discovered by whom the regular breaches of his perimeter were being made, compensated for those weaknesses, and put a stop to them. Upon further reading he discovered that it was their special brand of magic that allowed them to appear and disappear in the school.

One of the books misplaced in the section that contained books on house elves had been a well-worn book entitled Hogwarts a History. Out of curiosity he had picked up the book. It was a very easy read, though extremely informative of his surroundings. He had the book finished by the time morning arrived, the information the book provided him taking precedence over his need for sleep. He had not done anything strenuous and was feeling the effects in his pent up energy. He found he hardly missed the sleep.

Today Batman did stretches before he left his rooms and made his way to the kitchen. After he had himself fed and watered he was decided that he needed somewhere private to practice the Patronus spell until his first class started, which was at 10:30. He decided on the roof. He had not been outside, besides flying the other day, and he had glimpsed a number of prime secluded roosts that he could use if needed. He decided he could simultaneously survey the layout, and practice the spell.

Batman quickly made his way outside in the long shadows of the morning and climbed his way up the roof. Using his grapple as a climbing rope. He easily made it up to the turrets and slanted rooftops. Not having exercised his legs in a good while, Batman ran around the roof, as he looked it over. Flipping, jumping, landing, rolling, and sliding to get around. He found himself maneuvering as easily as if he was breathing, but that was the point.

After about an hour of this he settled in a dark cold shaded courtyard of sorts between three towers. A flick of his wrist, and his dreaded wand was in his hand. Allowing a moment for focus, Batman admitted to himself that it was slightly easier to recall his sons and his home in this setting, up on a roof after he had finished maunvering around, and surrounded by gothic structure that reminded him of Gotham. He could recall Dick as he positively flew through the air, from building to building. Jason and his expert knowledge of street shortcuts and cutoff points. Tim in his mastery of security camera hacking that allowed him eyes everywhere. He knew they played hide and seek sometimes, when they thought he was busy, or wouldn't know because he was off world with the League. He could see Dick swooping around laughing in euphoria while Jason used his knowledge of the street to make faces at a camera before running away with a vicious cackle, and Tim as he tried to hack fast enough to keep up with them, thriving on the challenge.

"Expecto Patronum!" A white mist exploded out of the tip of his wand and rapidly condensed into something taller than he was. It stood on two muscular legs, had a long powerful tail that allowed it to balance itself when it reached high speeds, and let out a high pitched shriek like roar.

Batman was currently standing in front of his very own veloci-raptor.

The mist apparition before him shook its head, its arms folded into its chest as it turned its head, huffing air out if its nose. The beast chirped before it started to casually walk toward Bruce, something curious and docile in its barely condensed white face.

Batman held absolutely no emotion on his face as he tried to come to terms with what had just appeared before him. There was a warm feeling in his chest that this creature created in him; causing any fear he might have felt initially to be irrelevant. He looked at the beast with as much curiosity as it was looking at him. Batman drank in its every feature as it walked toward him. The two of them just stood looking at each other. Batman completely motionless while the beast twitched its neck and shifted its weight between its legs, its tail swaying back and forth.

Suddenly the beast hissed and snapped its teeth before it lightly butted the top of its head against Bruce's arm, as if it were a dog attempting to get a pat or two.

Batman was still in the throes of shock, so he obligingly placed his hand on the dinosaurs nose and pet it like it was a horse. Still staring at it, trying to believe it was there, and that it was responsible for the feeling in his chest.

If Batman weren't so out of it due to the dinosaur that was apparently his spirit guardian, he might have noticed the owl swooping towards him. But for once Batman was distracted so he did not in fact see the owl silently swoop overhead.

He did notice when with a screech the owl decided to dive-bomb him as if it had a serious vendetta against his face. The sudden attack caused Batman to loose concentration, resulting in the raptor dissolving out of existence. In addition, having taken Bruce by surprise, the owl had been swatted straight out of the air with rather excessive force.

The owl flapping around on the stone in pain was being very vocal about this excessive force. It seemed to gnaw at its own foot for a moment. Batman grunted at the owl on the ground. Silently he debated whether or not approaching to see if he had caused any fatal wounds would help or hinder. It was a moot point when the owl let out a frustrated screech then forced itself to its feet and threw itself sloppily off the roof to fly away.

Before Batman investigated the note that the owl had left behind, he closed his eyes for a long moment and took a deep breath. Coming to terms with all of what had just happened and trying to make some sense of it that dodn't prove he had gone completely crazy. He let our a heavy sigh as he got his wits about him and prepared to tackle whatever else was next. Batman really hated Magic.

When Batman felt like he was going to be okay, and that no, reality was not disintegrating around him; he opened his eyes with a new determination to not lose his sanity. He stepped forward and picked up the note, breaking the wax seal.

_Batman,_

_Unfortunate that we could not find you this morning. I do hope this finds you quickly. It has been reported to me that you have showed exceptional promise in the classroom and that you may need a more advanced course to stay stimulated. In light of this information I have decided to move you to the Third years schedule. I do hope this isn't too much trouble. Books have already been purchased and deposited outside your chambers. Enclosed here is your new schedule. My door is always open, even if you just want to chat!_

_ -Your trans-dimensional acquaintance, Albus Dumbledore._

Batman wanted very badly to groan like a child assigned homework at this development. He didn't want to be forced to attend _any _classes at this blasted school. He had his magic under control for the majority, and he could get much farther in his research if he were allowed to do it without interruptions. However he needed to go along with the plans for now because he truly did not have a better alternative. If he did not cooperate, he would be at odds with the only people who could provide him shelter and resources.

So reluctantly Batman opened his new schedule. He growled at the paper when he saw that his first class would be Potions. He saw it started a half an hour before he was scheduled to be at his previous classes. He held his hand up to his eyes and judged the position of the sun in the sky. The proceeded to barely restrain himself from beating the coherency the next staff member in his path as he pulled out his grapple gun and lowered himself from the roof to get to the dungeons as quickly and silently as possible.


	5. Chapter 5

AN:/ Not feeling the author's note today.

* * *

**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter Five

by: deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: Friday, January 18, 2013, 7:29PM_

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When Batman wanted to move, he could really move. He was used to keeping pace with the likes of Flash and Superman. And while he did not have the raw speed that either of those two had, he knew how to travel so that he could move over terrain with maximum efficiency. As Batman sprinted through the rafters of the school, screams and shrieks made a trail behind him. Though by the time anyone had registered what exactly the enormous black shape was that was flying above them, it was already gone.

It had taken very little time before Batman was in the dungeons and navigating corners by running up onto the wall and pushing himself into the new direction, as not to loose momentum.

Batman skidded to a halt just before a large door where he knew he would be in for a not so pleasant two hours. He truthfully was only approximately five minutes late, but it would be enough to draw attention to himself, and he wanted to avoid making a spectacle. This would be inevitable, now that he had arrived to the class of a man that already disliked him. So Batman exhaled before he calmly opened the door and strode inside.

All of the activity ceased when Batman entered and he found himself on the receiving end of twenty two pairs of wide disbelieving eyes.

"I see you have finally decided grace us with your _superior_ presence. For your insolence you will be gracing my presence again tonight in detention. I do not tolerate tardiness. You may take your seat and get to work. You will be partnered with Neville Longbottom. If we are lucky both of you will be walking out of here in tact, but that is up to your and his performance."

Batman did not rise to the jabs at his intelligence. He knew Snape was attempting to get him to retaliate, and he was not going to play such childish games with the man. He had no time for it. He didn't have time for the detention either and he had absolutely no plans to attend it. But the professor didn't need to know that just now.

Instead Batman kept his face blank as he looked to where he would be sitting. Beside his empty seat was a boy with a plump face that was completely read and shinny with sweat. As Batman walked towards the boy he noticeably shrunk on himself. He was dressed in Gryphindor colors, seemingly as a cosmic form of irony. Batman paid absolutely no mind to the absolutely terrified teenager as he sat down on the vacant stool, still as a statue, waiting. The professor turned to the class when he had reached the front of his desk once more a smirk apparent on his face.

"I will not be repeating my instructions, the copies are all in your books. You have the remainder of the period to complete the Befuddlement draught. Begin." There was the sound of loud whispering and the scrapping of stools as students went to get their supplies. Neville shifted in his chair for a moment, not even daring to look up at Batman as he waited for something to happen.

Batman assessed the situation quietly. He had had a brief look at his potions book before, but nothing comprehensive. He had come to the conclusion that potions were like a very primitive form of chemistry. The methodology of combining substances to create a reaction or a solution for a specific purpose was largely the same. It was the means and materials that were different. Logically, that meant that the project he had been assigned was comparable to a High School Freshman level chemistry lab. Batman would watch the experiment and treat it with care, just as he did whenever he was mixing even the most minor of chemicals, but realistically he did not need to worry so much about his own or anyone else's safety, at least to a life or death extent. This would allow him to leave the less dangerous stages of the project to the untrained teenager beside him without too much risk of injury.

Abruptly Batman came out of his frozen state as he turned to his temporary 'partner'. "You will retrieve the necessary supplies while I go over the text. When you get back you will receive further instruction." Neville nodded before he quickly got out of his chair and nearly ran to get away from Batman towards the supply closet.

Batman wasted no time in dragging the boy's book, which was open to the correct page, towards himself and skimming the material. His theory on Potion's and Chemistry's similarity was not disproven as he read over the procedure. He had absolutely no concern for his ability to complete this task. In all honesty, this was closer to cooking than it was to any scientific experiment he had ever conducted.

Batman had quickly made his way through the text and while he reviewed it again he spied a cluster of students at the back of the room. The boy he would be working with, Neville Longbottom, was surrounded by a group of three other students, A girl and two boys. All of them were seemingly trying to prevent him from having a panic attack. After the boy had been somewhat consoled and collected the supplies they would need the boy was coming back, waddling up the long isle slowly and blocking his other classmates. Giggles were floating from the Slytherin side of the room at his display, as he was slightly out of breath from carrying all of the supplies in the cast iron cauldron. Batman had no patience for this.

He stood up abruptly and in no more than six strides was plucking the cauldron full of supplies from the boys arms as if it were a box of tissues. The giggling stopped as the Slytherin's watched as he walked unencumbered by the load as the rest of them had, back to his seat. Neville stared for a moment before he was trotting behind like a lost puppy to catch up with Batman.

Batman set the cauldron down and started to unload what the boy had collected. All of the ingredients were there, though he would be inspecting them later. The scales, the stirrers, the, the pestle and mortar, and the knife also made it out of the cauldron. Before Batman continued he issued a new instruction to the boy beside him.

"Arrange the ingredients you have collected in the order they appear on the list in your text. Place the ingredients in a line far enough away from the edge of the workspace so that if they were to tip over, the jar would not immediately fall to the floor." Batman stared at the boy, waiting for him to comply. After a moment of squirming Neville again complied with the instruction without comment. Batman was pleased with the boy's obedience and hoped that it would continue for the rest of the period. Batman did not miss that most of the classroom, especially Snape, and the three teenagers that had spoken to Longbottom, were keeping curious eyes on him. He ignored the stares for now, as long as he was aware that they were there he would know if any of them started to come closer to interfere.

While Neville arranged the ingredients in a practical order, Batman went about inspecting the equipment. He found the balancing scales to need a slight adjusting. He wished he had something infinitely more exact, but balancing scales would have to do. Batman easily adjusted them to proper working condition. The mortar and pestle were ground and worn, not in the best of condition. But they were clean and useable. He set these to the side. The stirrers were slightly longer than was strictly necessary, from what the text had required, but the extra length would not hinder so they too got set to the side. Batman examined the cauldron the boy had fetched and sneered as he glimpsed the inside. It was absolutely filthy. A quick glance to the back of the room and Batman saw that there were none left to replace the one in front of him.

As an experienced chemist, Batman refused to start even a basic level experiment without clean and properly functioning equipment. In the very back corner of the room he spied a sink of water with a rag and some soap. He did not know the quality of the soap, but it was a safe assumption that it was for the specific use of cauldron washing if it was in this room. Regardless he would make it a point to rinse thoroughly.

Before Batman went to wash the cauldron he inspected the knife. He picked it up and grimaced at the poorly kept blade. It was heavily stained. He did not have to run its edge against his cheek to know that it was uneven. Glancing to the back of the room once more, he saw that there were no more knives in the block, and he would have no other options if he did not approve of this one, other than to use his own. Batman very much wanted to keep his knives clean and uncontaminated and would only use them if the knife he was supplied was completely unusable. Batman grimaced but supposed that if it were sharp enough he would work with it. Batman turned to Neville who was finishing up with the jars.

"Where is a spare parchment." Neville had been concentrated on the simple task, wanting to get it right and not be yelled at by this Batman. He started for a moment before he reached down and nearly dumped everything out of his bag to get to one half sheet he had at the bottom. Batman took the paper with a grunt. Not even bothering to turn away as he slashed the knife in his hand through the air. The knife clipped the edge of the page but did not cut, the force of his swipe only ripped the page in two. Neville flinched back at the action, not knowing what was going on. Batman snarled at the results. It seems as if would be using his own knives after all.

Paying no attention to Neville, or a majority of the class that were stopping to watch him after his sudden violence, Batman placed the knife back into the cauldron and picked it up to carry to the back of the classroom. Glancing to the boy and seeing that he was nearly done arranging the jars he issued a new instruction.

"Start getting the correct measurements of the ingredients we will need, and keep them aligned in the order you have placed the jars. Keep the ingredients immediately away from your eyes, mouth, and nose as you handle them. Do not touch your face after you have handled raw ingredients without thoroughly washing your hands first. When you have finished with this task, put the jars back where you found them. Your amounts should be exact and thorough. Select only the best from the jar, and pick out any contamination or lower quality particles. I will be double checking to see if you have followed my instructions."

Without waiting for a reply Batman easily picked up the cauldron and strode quickly to the back of the room. As he walked over to the sink he picked the knife out of the cauldron and threw it across the room so that it landed in a spot on the knife block. There were several startled screams and shocked 'bloody hell!' at his action.

"I do not tolerate knives being hurled across this classroom!" Batman did not turn to face the professor, instead pouring soap into the cauldron. Aware that Snape was moving down the isle to confront him, but making no visible reaction to it. The Professor was an unusually quick temper, but then, Batman knew he tended to have that affect on people. He spoke in an emotionless monotone as he responded to the agitated professor

"What I threw hardly qualified as a knife; dirty, flimsy, blunt, and unbalanced. I sincerely hope that not all of the knives you have your students use are of such disgraceful quality. Regardless I was unaware you required them not to become airborne. My apologies, you will not see it happen again."

Batman was aware of the ever so slight change in the sound of the professor's last three footfalls before he came to a stop just outside of Batman's personal space. They had gotten heavier, quicker, and more forceful. Batman dipped the cauldron into the pool of water sideways, allowing it to fill instead of forcing it to the bottom, displacing all of the water, and overflowing the sink. Still his face was blank, completely unconcerned with the furious Professor who had just come to a stop behind him. Only the Slytherin's in the room were aware that Batman had just phrased his apology to allow him to throw knives as long as the professor wasn't looking. When it became apparent that Batman had absolutely no intention of turning around to face him, Snape sneered out his demands.

"Cease this childlike behavior at once and face me when I am speaking to you!" Batman did not turn around, but continued to diligently wash the cauldron, raising an eyebrow under his mask when the resulting lather seemed to change color in regular intervals. He choose not dignify Snape's commands with any sort of response, verbal or otherwise. The man was truly on the brink of loosing his temper. Batman was not at all impressed, or intimidated. This man had very little control, it seemed. Batman did not feel it was imperative he participate as this man lashed out at him. So he remained merely aware of the potential attacker behind him as he scrubbed the bottom of the cauldron in regular circular motions and worked his way up the walls.

Words were snapping out of Snape's mouth when it became apparent that Batman had absolutely no intention of deviating from his task. "I am your superior in this classroom and you will afford me all manners of respect when you are within my presence. Now turn around so that I might be able to properly discipline you to my satisfaction for your uncivilized and petulant behavior." Snape was seething, his arms had untucked themselves from their position folded tightly against his chest, and had disappeared within his cloak, his right hand hovering over his wand.

Batman noted the change in posture of the man behind him, but did not react to it. He was not going to accept this man's declaration of superiority over him without objection, however. Batman felt the bottom of the sink and pulled the plug on the water while he reached to turn on the tap to rinse the soap off of the cauldron as he responded. A barely noticeable edge present in his voice.

"My respect is earned, never given. You hold no power over me. I need nothing from you. Not even your knowledge of this primitive skill is anything significant to me. Neither is this tactic of control through fear going to work. You may gnash your teeth and cut ribbons with you tounge, but I know there is nothing to fear of a man who is so weak and insecure that he feels the need to demand respect from a man he does not respect himself."

Snape was done with this. His lip drawn up in a sneer he drew his wand from his robe pocket with the intention of vanishing the water in the sink, forcing Batman to turn around.

He never got that far, because as soon as Snape's hand was extended Batman's own hand snapped backward, ripped the wand right from Snape's hand, and slapped it down on the counter in front of him. The wood of the wand making a sharp 'snap'. The room was so silent that it might have been possible to hear the heartbeat of a ghost. Bruce just continued to finish rinsing the cauldron, not at all concerned with what had just happened.

"You may have your wand back when I move away from the sink. I do not appreciate having it pointed at me with my back turned." Snape took two steps forward, intending to reach to the counter for his wand.

"How dare you-" Snape collided with an extended arm that had snapped up to prevent him leaning forward and retrieving his wand. Snape, furious, turned his head to speak to Batman only to meet the white pitiless eyes, which against the black of his mask and in the poorly lit room, almost seemed to be glowing. Batman stared at the Professor for a moment before he spoke.

"Do I need to defend myself Professor Snape?" Snape glared at the white eyes of the mask. He drew his lips up in a snarl and attempted to project his every loathing, but it all had no effect. Batman merely stared calmly back, unconcerned with the anger rolling off of the teacher in waves. His face was completely blank as he waited for the professor to make a decision. The moment stretched on for a full minute. Snape was stubborn, Batman would give him that. He had not wavered from Batman's blank white eyes and had not twitched a muscle, neither moving forward or backward. It seemed that the man's goal was to outlast Batman and force him to make the next move, to attack him so that he would look the victim.

Batman would not be forced into this corner, and he did not fancy playing the waiting game. Instead Batman twisted his extended arm ever so slightly, pushing the blades of his gauntlets into the professor's stomach. The professor could feel the points of the blades, even through his robes, and instinctively shifted away, even if it was so little a movement that none but Batman and Snape could see.

Snape's sneer increased but he made no move to push himself back against the lethally sharp points. Batman held the position for a moment, and when Snape still did not make a move forward, he dropped his arm and finished washing the cauldron.

The class watched with mouths open as Batman finished washing his cauldron as if nothing had just happened, and Snape made no move to attack, and no move to retreat, but just stood there, as if he had been frozen to the spot. Severus Snape had let Batman take his wand, and wasn't doing anything about it.

Batman really did not care that the rest of the class was staring at him, but he did care that after this extended silence the rate of hissing and spitting of the cauldrons around the room had escalated. So as Batman pulled a towel from a rack overhead he spoke in a loud enough voice to carry easily.

"The rest of you have potions to tend to. I think we'd both prefer they didn't spontaneously combust." There was a beat and then there were hurried movements as cauldrons were taken off of fires to be allowed to cool, or rapidly stirred to calm them down. The panicked exclamations of students as some of their potions didn't calm down were starting to become evident. In the momentary distraction Batman picked up the cauldron and walked away from counter. Snape immediately went forward and retrieved his wand but he did not turn to Batman. Instead he rushed around the room to solve the more immediate problem; rapidly vanishing anything that looked even remotely like it was going to explode.

Batman rolled his eyes beneath his mask as he approached the desk he had been working at. Longbottom was still staring at him, disbelief, fear, and hero worship practically radiating from his face. Batman looked down to the boy, hoping direct eye contact would snap him out of it. It was after a solid ten seconds without so much as a twitch that Batman set down the cauldron and spoke.

"You have not completed the task I assigned you." This was an understatement, Neville had only gotten as far as opening the first jar. There was a flash of panic on the boys face and then fear so intense the boy looked like he was about to cry. Batman inwardly winced at the thought of having to deal with a blubbering teenage boy that wasn't one of his sons. He could do it, but he didn't like to.

"Had we been in the more dangerous steps of this process that would be unacceptable. However we are merely in the preparation stages. There is no harm from this besides the waste of time. We will both measure ingredients." Neville seemed to only be on the verge of hyperventilation now, and not bawling his eyes out. Batman grunted as he moved to start at the opposite end of the line of ingredients. Neville flushed before he went back to his end of the jars.

Neville knocked a jar down but Batman caught it before it hit the floor. It's distance from the edge giving him enough time to put down what he was working on before his hand snapped out to catch it. Neville, along with the rest of the room stared at Batman, waiting for his retaliation to Neville clumsiness, but he gave none. After nothing happened everyone slowly went back to their work, including Neville, who was exceedingly more careful about where his elbows were.

When all of the ingredients were out Batman looked over the piles Neville had selected before he moved back. "Carry these jars back to the storage closet and I will have the ingredients ready to be prepared when you get back." Neville nodded and picked up all the jars, making sure he had a hold on all of them before he moved to the back of the room. Nobody dared to trip him.

When Neville got back there were a line of dead slugs on the table, ready to be sliced up into five centimeter strips. Batman stared at the boy for a moment. As of now, he had let the boy do nothing significant. It did not take much inference to come to the conclusion that this boy had no skill in this subject. He was clearly terrified of the Professor, and his nerves affected his ability to do well.

And while the boy was fairing well now, having Batman give him simple specific tasks, this would not be the case when Batman was gone. He would be terrified once again, and most likely be a very real danger to himself and others.

Batman decided at that moment that he was going to teach this boy to fish.

"What is your experience with knives." Batman asked it as a demand more than a question. Neville looked up at Batman and floundered with himself for a moment before he realized he had been asked a question that would require a verbal response.

"I-I don't know sir." Batman looked at the boy impatiently for a moment. He had a hunch he was going to starting from the ground up. But he wanted to be sure.

"Have you ever been taught how to use a knife; for cooking, construction, survival, or defense. Do you have any experience with sharp edges of any kind, swords, daggers, pocket knives, saws, kitchen knives, or razors."

It was at this point that Batman noticed that the activity behind and in front of him had stilled, and the students were angled slightly towards his voice. Batman noted this and made sure to speak in a voice that would carry and to describe what he was doing as he did it. Neville would not be the only one learning something today.

"M-my gran let me help in the kitchen once but she wouldn't let me touch anything sharp. My Uncle tried to teach me fencing when I was little, but we only ever used wooden swords, and he stopped after I kept getting splinters." Batman grunted. From the ground up then. Batman swiped his hand over the outside of his left thigh and a gleaming obsidian colored combat knife was spinning rapidly in the air in tight controlled circles. It landed land exactly in Batman's hand as if he had commanded it to and it hadn't dared disobey. Neville flinched back violently at the action but Batman ignored it completely as he unclenched the handle and held the knife flat in his palm.

"Due to the poor quality of the knives we were provided, we will be using my own. This blade is sharp and strong enough to cut off an arm in a single swipe. It will cut through up to an eighth an inch of steel, easily through bone. You will follow my instructions exactly when you handle this knife. This is not a toy, or a joke. You show any sign of deviating from my instruction, and you will loose this privilege swiftly and without warning."

Batman stared at the pale and clammy teen beside him. He was not worried about the teen hurting himself. He would be able to stop the boy quickly if he were about to do anything. He just did not desire to have to do any stopping in the first place. He watched the boy as he wiped his sweaty palms on his legs and nodded. Batman grunted and laid the knife down on the table before them.

"When you pick up the blade you will grip the steel above the handle between your thumb and forefinger, resting the handle in your palm and grabbing it with the remainder of your fingers. Grabbing the blade itself allows for greater control. Watch." Batman made a show of picking up the knife and holding it in his hand as he had described. He turned his hand over for the boy to see before he laid the knife back down.

"Pick up the knife." Neville looked nervously between the black combat knife and Batman, whose face was completely blank as he waited for the boy to comply with his instruction. Neville wiped his hands on his robes again before he reached tentatively towards the knife. As his hand got closer he looked rapidly back and forth between Batman and the knife. Batman did nothing, keeping as still as a statue while he waited for the boy to pick up the knife.

When the boy's fingers brushed the blade he winced, as if expecting a blow or a shout, but none came. Looking up to Batman one last time, and still seeing him standing there like a block of stone, Neville gulped and gently picked up the blade. Making great pains to do it exactly like Batman had.

Neville's hand was shaking the knife visibly. Batman could see the condensation around the boy's fingers as his palms were so sweaty that they were slicking the knife. The boy had obviously expected it to be lighter, and grappled with how to properly articulate the unexpected heft.

Batman saw the knife start to slip out of the boy's sweaty fingers and he acted. Like a phantom his hand snapped out to cover the smaller one in a strong and steady grip. The boy stopped shaking near instantly, paralyzed with shock and fear.

"Breathe." At the command Neville sucked in air, not realizing he had been holding his breath. Batman waited for the boy to stop breathing so heavily. He could feel the boy tremble against him when he started to realize who was holding his hand over a knife and had yet to let go. Batman squeezed the boy's hand lightly causing him to shoot his gaze straight up to Batman's. Once Batman had Neville's eyes, he didn't let go. Batman wasn't using magic of any kind, but Neville was convinced that he must be because he could not look away, not even if he wanted to. Batman captivated the boy so much that Batman was the only thing in Neville's line of vision. The rest of the world fell away because Batman held all of Neville's attention.

When Batman was sure the boy was locked with him, he allowed his breathing to become visible. The boy unwittingly followed his lead and his breaths became much slower and quieter. Batman stood like that waiting for the boy to match him without hitches or gasps. When the boy finally settled down, still locked with his eyes, he spoke.

"Trust me."

Neville slowly nodded his head twice; his eyes never leaving Batman's. Batman gave a small slow nod in acknowledgement. He then released his hold on the boy's hand, but the boy did not shake. Batman then turned away, backing up a step to allow Neville space in front of him to stand in front of the slugs still lined up on the table. Neville didn't need to be told. He stepped in the spot Batman had just vacated.

"When you hold ingredients to be cut, you will club your fingers, as if you were holding a small ball. This will cause the flat of the blade to rest against your knuckles. It is nearly impossible to cut yourself this way." Neville obeyed the instruction without comment.

The entire potion was made in this manner. Batman stood behind Neville and gave him detailed and simple instructions for every step of the potion. Neville never shook once. Never looked back once. He focused completely on the deep voice behind him and did everything it said.

Snape was forced to give them and several others a passing grade when every potion within earshot of Batman's voice was perfect.

After they were dismissed Batman did not hesistate to walk out of the classroom. Several of the students rushed out to find him, but when they stepped into the hallway after him he was gone.

Neville was still in a trance as he was walking down the hallway, Hermione noticed and walked quickly, trailed by Harry and Ron, to catch up with him.

"Neville. Neville wait up." Neville suddenly seemed to stutter and snap out of it. As the golden trio leveld off next to him. Hermione placed a concerned hand on his shoulder.

"Neville are you alright?" Neville looked to Harry Ron and Hermione as if he were daydreaming and didn't know what they were talking about before he blinked several times and rubbed his eyes.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine. I feel really good, actually." Neville furrowed his eyebrows but kept his mouth firmly closed as he denied himself a yawn. He was relaxed, more than anything. It was like there was absolutely no anxiety, nothing to worry about. Hermione looked at Neville suspiciously while Ron and Harry shared a look behind her back.

"Neville, I think that man might have done something to you. We should go to the infirmary to make sure you're alright." Neville stepped back when Hermione went to grab his upper arm and guide him to the infirmary. A frown appeared on his face.

"Nothings wrong with me Hermione. I'm fine." Ron spoke up when he saw that Hermione wasn't getting anywhere.

"No offense mate, but there is no way you could have made a perfect potion, and the fact that you are ready to fall asleep after Snape's class is just creepy. He could have cast the imperus on you." Now Neville frowned for real.

"You guys think that just because I made a potion that there must be something wrong? I guess now I know who has any real confidence in me." Harry stepped forward, not liking where this was going.

"Neville its not like that. Its just that-"

"I get it Harry. You think that Batman did something to me and that's why I was able to make a potion without blowing something up. Because there is no way Neville Longbottom could even be capable of doing anything right. Well guess what, he didn't do anything but give me instructions. I did it all the work on my own. I can make a potion, just as good as you Harry. I don't automatically screw up you know. It's okay for me to get something right once and a while." Neville didn't wait for a response and just turned, continuing to walk down the hall. They waited until Neville had rounded the corner before they started to talk.

"What's gotten into him?" Ron huffed, a little affronted that they had just been told off by Neville Longbottom of all people.

"It's obvious that Batman did something to him. Maybe it wasn't a spell, but I still don't like it." Hermione looked worriedly down the hall. Harry looked between the two of them seriously as they started to walk down the hall themselves.

"But what could Batman possibly have to gain from helping Neville with potions? Maybe he isn't all bad." Hermione looked doubtful while Ron looked thoughtful.

"Well he did completely humiliate Snape."

"Ron!" Hermione gave Ron a scolding look.

"Oh come on Hermione, even you have to admit that the slimy git got what was coming to him." Hermione huffed

"_Professor Snape _is a teacher Ron! And Batman took his _wand, _right out of his hand!" Ron got an almost dreamy look in his eye.

"I know, wasn't it brilliant! The look on Snape's face." Hermione was about to open her mouth and give Ron a what-for but Harry stepped in before anything could be said.

"Listen guys. It's clear that this Batman is dangerous. But we don't know what he's about. Yes he stole Snape's wand, but he also helped Neville with his potion when it was clear he didn't really care about the potion himself. We need something more if we're going to decide anything. In the mean time we shouldn't' get too worked up. Dumbledore let him in the castle, didn't he?" Hermione and Ron both nodded reluctantly at Harry's logic. It was silent for a moment before Hermione spoke up again.

"Well I still don't trust him. He could be working with Sirius Black for all we know." Harry sounded very tired as he responded.

"Yes, everyone is out to murder me and I need to be careful. _I know _Hermione. That doesn't change the fact that we couldn't do anything, even if we wanted to. He hasn't done anything bad yet. All we can do is watch ourselves and each other. Okay?" Hermione huffed lightly, but relented at the logic.

A pair of calculating white eyes watched the trio from the shadows as he allowed his targets to move out of range. The eyes considered this new development before they slowly allowed themselves to be completely swallowed in darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

AN:/ Meh.

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**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter Six

By: deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: Sunday, January 27, 2013, 8:15PM_

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Potion's was not, in fact, the only class to be had that day. After a twenty-minute intermission, Batman made his way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom. A man named Remus Lupin, it seemed, would teach this class. Batman did not miss the pun in his name, knowing both the story of Romulus and Remus, along with being fluent in Latin.

Not being late to this class, Batman was allowed to slip into the classroom while the professor's back was turned. He did not however make an effort to hide himself once he found a shadow to occupy at the back corner of the room. This Professor was making no attempt to preform a charade, as McGonagall had. Batman returned the favor by allowing himself to be seen. Though even when Batman had made himself visible, it took three minutes before Remus noticed there was a man in the back of his classroom.

When he did notice, it was with recoil of surprise and the whip of a wand being drawn. Batman did not so much as flinch, causing Remus to narrow his eyes before he realized who he had just drawn a wand on. Remus then hesitantly lowered his wand and dropped out of his taught pose. He smiled with a mix of anxiety and confusion.

"I apologize, you took me by surprise. I had forgotten you would be in this class. I am Professor Remus Lupin." Batman just stared back at the Professor and silently analyzed him. The man was haggard. He had scars over his face, there was grey in his hair, despite the fact that he looked relatively too young for such things. His hands were knarled, and worn. His clothes were shabby and thin, though he held himself professionally regardless.

This was a man who had seen more than he should have. A man with a past and full of secrets. Batman knew the type. The man's eyes however, held no malice, or desire for revenge. He was simply tired. Sheer determination to do more was what was keeping this man standing, and moving forward. His guarded reaction to Batman's presence allowed the assumption that this man was a fighter, not a coward. His appearance also alluded that he had seen his fair share of confrontations.

After Batman did not respond and simply stared at him, completely motionless, Remus was seriously considering whether someone had spelled the man motionless, and he needed help from him. Cautiously Remus moved forward, his wand held casually but ready for action at his side.

Batman watched as the thoughts passed through the man's head. He saw caution, confusion, embarrassment, and then concern. After concern had settled on the man's face, he started to move forward, the fingers clutching his wand flexing ever so slightly. Batman allowed the man to approach, but before he could open his mouth or do anything with his wand, he gave the man a barely perceptible nod.

Remus stopped abruptly at the small action, not even sure he had seen it. That was when the first group of third year Ravenclaws entered the room. The Ravenclaws stopped dead in their tracks and stared wide eyed at Remus and Batman. Remus blushed furiously before he moved to quickly introduce himself to the students and invite them to have a seat.

The rest of the class filed in and a similar pattern started to emerge. The students would stop in the doorway, gape at Batman, and then be snapped out of it by Remus who would invite them in. Remus had attempted to invite Batman to sit down, or make a joke about how he was scarring the children, but all he got for his efforts was a very creepy feeling at the back of his neck, so he desisted.

Finally all of the students were there, including Malfoy, who had refused to take his eyes off of Batman since he had entered the room. Batman didn't much care and paid the boy no mind. The room was eerily quiet, as no one felt like it was okay to talk. Whenever Remus tried to break the silence it just felt even more awkward and wrong. But just as Batman had hypothesized, the man was determined, and had seen his fair share of problems. He was not backing down from this one.

"Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am your Professor, Remus Lupin. I understand you have had your fair share of Teachers in the past and that they weren't all exactly the best, so I will be doing my best to make sure you are all learning what you need to know. For the Third Year Curriculum we will be focusing mainly on dangerous magical creatures, and how to best them. I am sure you are all aware of the expectations of you in this class, so if there are no questions I would like to get right to our first lesson." Remus waited and looked over the class. All of them were squirming, still no one feeling comfortable saying anything for fear of some unknown repercussion if they did.

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly before he started to move towards the entrance to the classroom. "Right well, if the rest of you would follow me. Our first lesson is in a classroom just down the hall." There was a scrapping of wood chair legs against stone as the students got up to follow the professor, glancing back to Batman, only too see he had not moved. Batman waited until all of the students had left the classroom before he moved and seemed to almost disappear. Nervous whispers broke out on the trip down the hall, only to stop abruptly when they found Batman in the room they had been headed to. Remus continued to plow forward through the tension.

"Right, all of you gather around." Suddenly the wardrobe that was placed in the room shook violently, eliciting several screams from the already high-strung students. "Clam yourselves! There is nothing to be afraid of. The fact that there are so many of us here are merely making it excited. Can anyone tell me what a Boggart is?" Remus looked over the nervous students, choosing to attempt to ignore the looming demon creature at the back of the room as he tried to teach his class. Remus waited for a full minute for the class to calm down. A lone Ravenclaw raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Lundy."

"A boggart is a creature that turns into your worst fear." Remus beamed, desperately trying to lift the lead blanket that seemed to have settled over the room

"That is entirely correct! Very good. Yes, Boggarts are manifestations that adapt to a persons worst fear. They are not in fact, mortal creatures, but more along the lines of a manifestation of spiritual energy, and cannot be killed, merely banished. Due to the fact that when confronted, a boggart immediately changes shape, no one knows what an untransformed Boggart looks like. Now, can anyone tell me how to get rid of a boggart?" There was less hesitation this time as a Slytherin raised his hand.

"Yes Mr. Nott."

"You laugh at it." Remus smiled again and eagerly continued, trying to keep the momentum going.

"Excellent. Yes. A boggart can only truly be bested with good hearty laughter. This may seem like an impossible thing, when you are faced with your worst fear. Laughter may be the last thing from your mind. That however, is what we will be addressing today. There is a spell that is used to forcefully transform a boggart into something more amusing. The key is to have an image in your head of something to turn your worst fear into as you cast the spell. The incantation is _Ridikulus_. Now if everyone would repeat after me. _Ridikulus._"

"Ridikulus." Remus nodded

"Once again more forcefully. _Ridikulus."_

"Ridikulus!" Remus smiled again as he gave an acknowledging nod.

"See, not at all difficult. Now we'll try it on the real thing." Remus patted the wardrobe and it shook violently in retaliation. The students all rapidly dropped any confidence they might have had at Remus' suggestion. Remus however was not discouraged.

"Oh come now it's not that bad. You do not have to try of course, but everyone who faces the boggart will be excused from the assignment I assign. I will be here to help, and a boggart is incapable of truly harming a person. If you would all form a single file line and we can get started." The class remained an amorphous blob, though some of them put up the pretense of moving into a line. Remus waited for something even remotely like a line to form, but none did. No one would make eye contact with him, instead they all seemed to have come to a silent agreement amongst themselves that none of them were going first, and there was nothing Remus could do about it. Remus sighed.

"I will allow anyone who faces the boggart to leave class as soon as they are done, as well as being given a pass on the assignment." At this the class stilled all except for one.

All eyes snapped to the back of the room, as something seemed to melt right out of the shadows. The students had nearly forgotten that Batman was supposed to be in the room with them, he had been so still and silent. But he was not still as he strode purposefully to the front of the room, the clump of students parting for him like the red sea.

As soon as Batman was in front of the students the wardrobe shook so violently that it tipped backwards with a crash. All of the students let out a yelp of fear. Remus recoiled in surprise, completely uncertain of what to do. Batman was completely motionless as he waited.

The latch had been undone in the wardrobes fall. The armoire shook once more before the door popped open and man jumped nimbly out of the opening. The rest of the class recoiled in surprise, letting out short shrieks at the man that appeared before them.

He was lanky, his limbs stringy and loose. His face was washed white; his hair was a vibrant green. His face was stretched impossibly wide into a maniacal smile framed by blood red lips. He wore a purple suit with a green bow tie and a yellow vest. And spattered over the entire man's form were splashes of blood. A crowbar clutched in one of the man's gloved hands was dripping some dark liquid and left red stains on the floor.

"Hey ya Batsy! Where were you earlier? I tried to call you but you never answered!" The man waved the crowbar around lazily, flinging drops of blood onto the students behind Batman who let out yelps of fear, "You see, I had a real good show planned! I figured all the best movies are getting sequels these days. _So_ unoriginal, but I figured, what the heck I'd give it a shot." The Joker's smile, if at all possible became wider as a dark chuckle escaped his mouth, echoing impossibly around the room. The crazed man walked slowly towards Batman, twirling the crowbar lazily in his hand. Batman remained completely motionless as the clown approached.

"And what do you know Batsy! There was something to all this squeal business! It was at least _three times_ as good as the original. I wish you could have been there. It was a real HIT!" the man then started to snicker, then a dark chuckle bubbled from his lips that got louder and louder. His awful lips stretched over his hideous teeth farther and farther as he lost all control and his shrieking laugher filled the room.

The students behind Batman were now in complete shock most of them openly crying but not sure why. Those who weren't were white as a sheet, eyes wide and unable to look away. Remus was frozen to the spot, completely unprepared for the psychotic monster that was standing before the Batman.

"That wasn't funny." Abruptly the maniac clown ceased laughing and became angry. The enormous smile became an enormous scowl as he whipped around to face Batman.

"Of course it is! Its hilarious can't you see? I killed them, all three of them, all of your little birdies. And just like last time you weren't there to save them! Not even close! I even did it behind the theater in Park Row so that I could make all of these entertainment references. 'A killer at the Box office! It really packed a punch. A real show stopper. Something that will just rip your heart right out of you.' Why can't you see it? Why aren't you laughing or at least punching me? Do something Damit!" Joker fisted his hands by his side like a petulant child as he yelled in Batman's face. Batman stared emotionlessly back.

"I'm not wasting my time on you. Go away Joker." The mad clown seethed as he jabbed his finger into Batman's chest.

"Now I went through all the trouble of setting this whole thing up and you're just going to throw me out on the street-" Joker was cut off as Batman's hand shot forward and grabbed Joker's neck, squeezing it, causing the man to gag. Batman dragged the man's face right up to his and growled in a tone barely above a whisper.

"I said. Go. Away." It was then that something changed in Joker's eyes. In Batman's very hands, all of the insanity that usually radiated from Joker's every action melted away. Left in its place was something in the form of Joker with a sense of self-preservation. He gulped before he dissolved rapidly into a black mist and went back into the wardrobe, the door slamming shut behind it.

The room stood in complete silence besides the shuttering breaths of the students who were still trying to get control of themselves. Wordlessly Batman turned and walked out of the room.

* * *

Batman knew himself. He prided himself on knowing his limits, and being able to push past those limits when necessary. He was in control of himself. This was why he knew he needed a release. He could stare down at the Joker and not be afraid, but he was angry. He was angry because he knew there was truth to what the clown had said. He didn't know where he was or how to return to his home, and if anything were to happen to his family, he wouldn't be there to do anything about it. Here he was completely helpless.

He knew it would be a superficial feeling, but he needed to let off steam, to be in control. When he needed a stress reliever at home, it was a simple thing to go out on patrol, or work through a training sequence in the cave. He had neither of those things here. Stationary targets such as columns or walls, would not allow him to be in control, or pose a challenge. He needed something that would fight back. And in his current environment, there was only one option that would not do anyone else bodily harm.

Batman had taken off his armor. He knew he was exposing himself, but that was the point. It would make this a challenge. He tightened the mask he had used to shower and sleep in around his head. He had already thoroughly wrapped his hands and feet. The sun was on its descent; the rest of the student body would be at lunch.

The whomping willow groaned as he got nearer. He had read about the tree in the book he had picked up, 'Hogwarts a History'. He had only caught glimpses of it through windows and on his way back to the castle from Diagon Ally with Hagrid. It's limbs were large and clubbed, obviously to be used to attack. The trunk of the tree was twisted and shuddered in such a way to suggest that it would be untwisted when provoked. Honestly this was one of the tamer plants he had ever come into contact with. This one was not poisonous, did not have teeth, and didn't have Pamela Isley at the controls. It would have been simpler to permanently disable the tree, but he had decided to only subdue it. He could then let it heal and come back to spar with it again if he needed the release.

Batman observed the ground around the tree and saw that it was all pulverized. A trench marked the extent of the trees reach. Nothing was growing within this perimeter. Batman narrowed his eyes at the tree, which was swishing lightly, shuddering its leaves, groaning, and making a general racket, as if to warn him not to come closer.

Batman crouched and leapt upward towards the trees branches. As anticipated the branches, which had been pointed upwards, moved to a horizontal position as the trunk uncoiled. Bruce let out a grunt as he grabbed onto one of the branches. As the branch started to slam downward Bruce pushed upward, and landed on top of it as it sent up an explosion of dirt. The branch threw Bruce upward, sending him flying up in the air.

Bruce used the catapult and tucked himself into a summersault. He must have been over fifty feet of the ground. A fall from this height would kill him. It was a good thing he didn't plan on landing on the ground. As Bruce fell he extended his leg out. There was a sharp _crack _as his foot made contact with one of the branches that had made to 'catch' him.

The branch recoiled out from under him. He fell forwards and let out another grunt as he caught the branch that had been coming towards him to knock him away. The branch was pushing him backward. He used his resistance to the change in direction to swing under and land on top of it. Bruce ducked low as another branch traveling in the opposing direction came swinging.

The tree started to groan as the trunk moved, attempting to flip him over and slam him into the ground once more. Bruce allowed himself to fall off of the branch and run along the moving branches until they had all slammed into the ground on the one side, and he was standing on the top of the heap.

The tree groaned as it picked itself up and started to repeat the action instead in the opposing direction. Bruce hung onto the bottom most branch until he was just about to hit the ground. He pushed off and with the combine force of the tree's pushing him, launched himself at the trunk, feet first. There was another sharp _crack_ and the tree shuddered. Bruce flipped backward off of the trunk before he ran back at it landing a flurry of punches that started to cause the bark to fall off.

A branch came in at an awkward angle, bending back on itself to get to Bruce at the center. Bruce braced himself and grabbed onto the limb as he was sent sweeping outward. Bruce grit his teeth as he held on against the centripetal force. Bruce held on until the tree was completely uncoiled and starting in the opposite direction to recoil. In the pause of movement Bruce swung up on top of the branch and leapt across the trees branches as if he were on a treadmill. As he leapt from branch to branch he kicked and punched everything he came into contact with. Using the force of his contacts to spring to the next limb. The result was a rapid _crack crack crack crack _as the tree slowed its wind up.

The tree wilted slightly, its injured limbs still mobile, but only following the lead of the last two active branches. It was obviously tired. Slowly, one of the last remaining branches swept downward, only intent on sweeping Bruce away from it. Bruce dodged and ran along the docile branches towards the other healthy one. He ran along it towards its end and as it curled upward to meet him he kicked it causing it to wilt.

Using the branches upward movement, he jumped and landed a solid punch to the last reaming branch that had been coming toward him. It shuddered pathetically before it too wilted.

Bruce readied himself for another assault but none came. The tree merely groaned as it coiled itself up, as if hugging itself. Occasionally a shudder would run through it, as if it were shivering.

With a grunt Batman leapt down to the ground. He slowly walked around the trunk, making sure that the tree would be able to recover. He paid absolutely no attention to the small crowd that had gathered a ways away from the tree. They had all been completely silent as he had leapt about, but were now talking loudly amongst themselves. However none of them dared to get close.

As he walked around the tree he came a decent sized hole in the ground that the trees roots seemed to be curled around. Around any normal tree this would not have seemed suspicious, however this tree would never allow anything harmless within its radius long enough to make a burrow. Batman narrowed his eyes as he looked closer into the hole and saw what looked to be paw prints, of some sort of large canine in the dirt.

"What in Merlin's name is the meaning of this?" Professor Sprout had seen the large clump of students out where they weren't supposed to be and had gotten worried when she saw that the willow was flailing about. She quickly rushed out of her greenhouses and approached the clump of students, pushing through to see what was the matter. Only to gape when she finally came to terms with what had happened.

"What on Earth have you done to the Whomping Willow!" Batman crouched up from his position beside the mysterious burrow entrance and grunted. He would ponder over the meaning of this later.

"Sparing practice. It will recover. There is no terminal damage." Batman didn't acknowledge anything else as he walked past the clump of students and back to the castle. He had left his armor back in his room. The safest place he knew to keep anything at the moment. Professor sprout could only gaze, near tears in her eyes, at the depressingly abused tree before her. Clumps of its leaves falling to the ground every time it shuddered, coiling in its branches and protecting the side of its trunk that was missing a majority of its bark.


	7. Chapter 7

AN:/ Let me know what you think.

* * *

**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter Seven

by: deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: Sunday, February 17, 2013, 5:06PM_

* * *

Batman really hated magic.

Of course this had been said multiple times before, but his level of disdain had evolved to new levels as he continued to attempt to make something out of the numerous books and articles he had collected for research, again.

Truly these people were idiots. There was little to no rhyme or reason to the way they constructed their theses and scholarly reports. The vocabulary was increasingly infuriating, as it was some strange mix between modern British English and Old English, along with having a multitude of other magical words thrown in that required Batman to use his base of Latin to understand the meaning of without context.

Batman supposed that if Witches and Wizards from the 'muggle world' stopped going to school for a standard education in Math, Literature, Science, and History at the age of eleven, that it would lend itself to a population of adults with a comprehension level not developed past that of a first grader. In addition, he had seen no evidence that wizarding children without any 'muggle family' received any sort of formal education until they accepted their letter to this farce of a school.

He was currently immersed in a society that had little to no understanding of basic math and science, along with being inarticulate and unorganized authors. It was no wonder that their society hadn't seemed to have progressed beyond the late eighteen hundreds. It was truly a terrifying spectacle to know that there were so may people out there who didn't know their times tables, but had the ability to do nearly anything with a flick and a word.

As a result of this extreme lack of societal progress, Batman was now sitting in front of what was supposed to be an Encyclopedia of Magical Plants, attempting to gather something from the section on Whomping Willows that was not a bloody recounting of how someone had been murdered by said plant. There was absolutely no useful information readily available beyond that apparently Wizards did not posses an ounce of common sense when they came across a tree that could and would crush them to a bloody pulp. By this point Batman was wondering how so many magical people were still alive.

Batman grunted as he closed the book. It was absolutely useless. He learned more about the tree by looking at it than he did reading about it. He started for a moment when he moved his hand to close the book and it didn't come into view. It was with another grunt that Batman chastised himself for forgetting that Nightmare had fallen asleep clinging to the back of his armor underneath his cape, and that as a result he had vanished along with the bat.

Batman had just discovered this little side effect when he had settled down to start his research on what could have made those paw-prints beneath the Willow, and if it was anything dangerous he should be worried about. As soon as Batman had walked no more than three steps into his rooms the bat had dropped from the ceiling into his hands and maneuvered itself up into its current position on his back underneath his cape. The entire time it trilled and chirped in what could only be dubbed an affectionate manner.

Batman had left Nightmare in his place, one, because he didn't have the energy to deal with the pest right now, and two, he wasn't in the way and he had stopped his annoying chirping. Unfortunately the end of the annoying chirping also signaled the cretin's fall into the land of nod and subsequently Batman's absence from the visual spectrum.

Quite frankly, Batman didn't much care as he stood up, gathered the books he had taken from the library, and headed back topside to return them completely invisible. He would never say it out loud, but it was convenient and less of a hassle to simply walk through the halls invisible, the books hidden beneath his cape, rather than maneuver through the rafters. It seemed that Nightmare had a use after all, if only when he decided that Batman would make an excellent napping post.

It had been a quick thing to slip into the Library, get rid of the books, and get out. The sun was setting and the plan had been to go out and observe more of his surroundings before he had Care of Magical Creatures the next day. The trip would also double as an opportunity to let Nightmare outside. He was not sure how much exercise the creature needed, as once again the authorship of the Wizarding world had failed him in the book he had been handed by the shopkeeper. Regardless Batman was fairly certain that the bat would need some space to stretch its wings. If he were lucky maybe it wouldn't come back and would go off on its own somewhere in the vaunted 'Forbidden Forrest' he had read so much about.

Batman turned down a lesser used corridor, knowing from his run around the roof of the castle the other day that there was a large window he would be able to climb out of instead of using the main entrance to get outside. This way he would get some exercise and refrain from drawing attention to himself.

"I'm not going to help you anymore Flint. I'm an adult now. I won't be pushed around!" Batman easily launched himself up into the rafters as he crept towards the nervous voice.

"You do realize who your talking to? I can pull strings Mandy. I can make sure your last year here is the worst one yet, unless you give me your notes, and do what I tell you."

Batman came closer to the situation and what he saw did not please him. There was a boy, in his upper years, who had cornered a young lady who was apparently in her last year of education. The boy was large, obviously used to using his size to get what he wanted. The girl was smaller, her hair cut short and her robes, although shortened, was still too wide and she was swimming in them.

The boy was leering down at the young lady, an obvious threat to comply with his demands or she would not like what was coming next. Batman silently reached towards his back, shifted his cape to the side, and plucked Nightmare from his perch before hanging him from the rafter. The young woman seemed to shrink ever so slightly before she looked to the side and her countenance hardened.

"No Flint. I am better than you. I'm not going to help you anymore. You can't make me." The boy smiled and revealed a row of dirty poorly kept teeth.

"Why don't we test that theory and see if you still think that's true in a few minutes." The boy stepped even closer, completely invading the girl's personal space. She let out a whimper and braced for impact as the boy's hands came up to grab her arms.

"Leave her." Marcus flinched and looked up to see the voice that had spoken just beside him. Standing beside the two as if he had always been there was Batman. Marcus could not help but feel a thrill of fear travel down his spine. The man was so close, and he had not known he was there until he had spoken. Marcus sneered to cover up his surprise as he replied.

"What's it to you. You have no authority over me. If you're so concerned go get a teacher. In the mean time leave us alone. This is none of your business." Marcus turned back to Mandy who he still had pinned to the wall. Batman narrowed his eyes at the boy before he struck. With a shove of his shoulder almost too quick to process Marcus was sent toppling over sideways and crashing to the floor with such force that he slid a small ways after he was down. Batman stepped forward and occupied the space Marcus had just been standing in. The young lady easily stepped behind him and backed away a few steps. However she was trapped between Marcus and a dead end. The only thing saving her from the Slytherin at the moment was the black pillar in front of her. Batman growled.

"I have no jurisdiction. And I _make _filth like you my business. Leave. Now." Marcus scrambled off of the floor after he had taken a moment to figure out how he had gotten there. His wand came out of his robes and he pointed it threateningly at Batman.

"I'm not the filth here. You are. Some bloody muggle who can't even show his face. I'll show you filth you freak. _Confri-" _Marcus' wand was ripped out of his hand and thrown down the hallway as demonic black form with white eyes suddenly filled his vision. Strong iron hands grabbed him by his shoulders and slammed him against the stone wall. Marcus let out an involuntary cry as his head thudded painfully against the rock.

"I don't think you understand. I didn't give you an option." Batman applied pressure to all the right places and forced Marcus' right arm, his wand arm, out if its socket with a sick wet 'pop'. Marcus screamed and tears were now streaming down his face. "I just dislocated your Hummerus. I find you harming anyone again, and I'll break every bone in your arm. Now go." As soon as Batman's hands fell Marcus was peeling down the hallway, so terrified he completely forgot about his wand and just kept running.

When the sound of running footsteps faded completely Batman walked forward and picked up the wand he had disarmed earlier. The young woman was still standing behind him in shock. Her mouth was open and Batman could see her lips were getting dry. The young woman merely continued to stare as he approached her with the wand. Absently she took it when Batman held it out to her expectantly.

"You may return this to its owner however you see fit." Batman waited until he received a slow nod before he walked to the end of the hallway and leapt up to a ledge that decorated the large window. He slipped through the bars and fell silently off the edge and out of sight.

It was another moment that Mandy just stood there before something was fluttering around her and she let out a panicked yell and swatted at it. The bat obliged with her shooing, and directed itself towards the window, flying hastily out after the man that had preceded it.

Batman grunted when he heard a delighted chirping stagger erratically overhead before darting away. He knew that Nightmare would be coming back. That was just how the universe worked. It was too cruel to take the annoying little creature off of his hands.

Instead of dwelling on it, he moved towards an uncharacteristically still whomping willow. He could not hold back a snort of exasperation when he saw that the tree had been bandaged up with slings and ice packs as if it were a person. He half expected to find a thermometer lying around somewhere. When he approached, the willow seemed to almost whine and sway away from him like a kicked puppy, shivering. Batman ignored the reaction and moved towards the burrow that sat in its roots.

The moonlight was scarce, as the moon was only half full, but in the cloudless night it provided enough light for Batman to re-establish that indeed, it was the track of a canine, not any other creature that possessed paws. Studying the tracks further he noticed something unusual. The direction that the tracks were pointed in indicated that the animal only ever came out of the burrow, never did it go in. There were however, multiple trails that indicated the creature had come out of the burrow fairly frequently. This would indicate that there was another entrance to the burrow that was not underneath the Whomping willow that the creature used.

And though the burrow was large enough to allow batman to crawl through, this would not be the best plan of action as he did not know if the animal was in the burrow, and if he would be able to defend himself adequately against it. His first encounter with the creature would preferably be in an environment that allowed a quick getaway.

Instead Batman examined the direction of the tracks once more and traced their trajectory. The most obvious destination for the creature once it had left its burrow would be the forest. The direction of the tracks leaving the burrow supported this conclusion, but there was nothing to say that the dog had not simply turned once he had made it to the grass. Never the less, Batman walked to the edge of the forest and examined the edge for any signs that a creature was regularly moving in and out of the woods.

It was a largely wasted effort. It was too dark out for batman to discern any incriminating details, and the shadows of the forest blocked what little light he might have gotten from the moon. Batman knew there were a common light charm that he could use in place of his currently malfunctioning flashlight, but this inquiry of what lived under the tree was merely a curiosity and was not overly important enough to warrant any serious investigating, let alone a use of _magic_. It was simply something that had caught his attention due to its odd placement beneath a tree that literally beat the life off of what would live on or near it with its own limbs.

Batman's trail had run cold for the time being, and being such there really was no reason for Batman to remain outside. There were other things he could do with his time. He still had copious amounts of research to do and he needed to practice the Patronus charm so that he could call it forth with more ease. However Batman did neither of those things, and instead decided to walk along the perimeter of the Forbidden Forrest. He justified this to himself by saying he was merely surveying the perimeter of the grounds he was currently housed on, but Batman knew he was kidding himself. With the absence of his crime fighting activities, or really any strenuous activity, he was becoming restless. He needed to move his body before he would be able to settle down and attempt to slug through any more magical texts.

Though he did do an admirable job of sticking to his pretense, peering into he forest and listening intently to the sounds that emitted from within. Admittedly there were very few. At least with Batman's experience, the forest, even at night, should have been much louder than this one currently was. The lack of noise was disturbing as it indicated that there were predators in the forest that had eliminated, or would eliminate any smaller creatures that made any noise.

It was in part, due to the silence, that Batman was able to pick up the light huff of some large animal, that otherwise would have been indistinguishable. Batman had ventured a good ways from the castle, enough that he could clearly see its entire silhouette against the night sky. A small village, he had known to be called Hogsmade, was starting to come into view. Batman stopped and sunk into the shadow of a large tree at the edge of the forest before he listened again, for any noise. He did not want to be near any animal large enough to exhale as he had just heard without knowing what he was up against.

Batman calmed himself and slowed his own breathing to better listen. He strained his ears and he could just hear a light shuffling of leaves as something walked along. Correctly identifying the direction of the animal Batman climbed up the trunk of the tree for his own safety and a better vantage point.

Batman looked deeper into the dark forest and attempted to make out any animal moving around, but underneath the canopy it was truly dark as pitch. Without his night vision lenses, he would have to wait for the creature to move closer to the edge, which was his current position, or wait for the noise to fade as the creature moved away. Until he could identify if the animal was a danger to him, he was not going to risk ignoring the noise and continuing on.

Fortunately or unfortunately the creature did not seem to be moving away, but towards Batman's position. As the noise got louder and closer it became apparent that there was more than one. In fact there were several. If batman had to say he would hazard a guess of four or five. The creature either possessed long legs or shuffled slowly, as the incrimite between footsteps was rather too long to be something in a great hurry.

And as Batman remained completely motionless, staring at where he knew the creature to be from the ruckus it was making but still unable to actually see it, something slowly walked out of the pitch.

It was a thestral. Several of them. Four to be exact.

After retrieving his wand Batman had made a point to find out what Thestrals were and why they were so special. What the wandmaker had said was parroted by every text he picked up. They were only visible to those who had seen death. He also learned, from 'Hogwarts a History' that there was a domesticated herd that lived in the Forbidden forest, and was used to pull the carriages too and from the train station. This caused him to recall Hagrids conversation with him days previous before they had gone to Diagon Alley. He too had described the herd as benign and altogether harmless.

It appeared that he was having his very first encounter with this domestic herd. And he knew with his very bones, that when the horses stepped out of the dark, all specifically looking up at him, that his sons would all be laughing at him. Because what he was essentially looking at now was a heard of Bat-horses. They had white eyes, like those of his cowl, their wings were leathery, like those of a bat, and every single one was colored black as pitch.

The fact that his wand was made with the tail hair of one of these creatures now made infinitely more sense.

Batman watched the creatures for a moment, silently determining f they were as domestic as Hagrid claimed. And when the creatures merely stared benignly up at him, but made no move as if they were aggravated with his presence. Batman allowed himself to fall from the branch and to the ground within the group of skeletal horses.

The horses let out short huffs of surprise at his sudden dissent, beating the ground lightly with their hooves to indicate their displeasure with Batman's abrupt appearance, but otherwise they did not protest further. Batman froze in a crouch on the ground and waited for the horses to react negatively to his presence but none did. Instead they slowly plodded closer bobbing their heads as they approached.

Batman slowly rose from his crouch to be level with the creatures and not be accidentally stepped on. As soon as he was fully erect, one of the horses standing before him lightly nudged its head against Batman's arm, maneuvering its nose beneath Batman's cape and nudging its head in such a way as to encourage Bruce to pet it.

Bruce was now absolutely positive that all of his sons would be on the ground rolling in laughter. Batman rolled his eyes beneath his cowl as he raised his hand and obliged with the thestral's wish to be pet. Bruce raised his hand and stroked the patch of skin between its eyes and up between its twitching ears. The Thestral huffed appreciatively and pushed back against Bruce's hand.

Absently Bruce started petting a second thestral when it too had nuzzled its way underneath Batman's cape and was nudging his other arm insistently. But of course the remaining two thestrals did not want to be left out and were soon shoving their counterparts away from Bruce's hand so that they could be pet themselves. So Bruce was left frantically trying to placate four thestrals at once.

It didn't' take long for Bruce to start to feel absolutely ridiculous. He was batman for Christ's sake. He did not have to oblige the whims of wild death beasts. So with one last pet for each horse he put his arms down and let his cape fall around him. And when the horses tried to get underneath the fabric once again, Batman held the edges in place as they butted their heads up against his person. So Batman remained a motionless pillar for a short moment while the thestrals butted up against his back and chest in light frustration. However after it was clear that Batman was not going to be their petting machine any longer they desisted and turned their attention elsewhere.

Batman relaxed slightly when the creatures turned away from him to bother other things. Batman would deny even thinking as much if asked, but this was a moment when Batman was grateful that electronics did not function on these grounds. As that meant that there was no way that anyone could have recorded the little episode that had just happened and use it for blackmail. However if Batman had to choose, he would infinitely prefer thestrals who were overly friendly to ones who wanted to take a bite out of him.

The thestrals, though having wandered immediately away from his person, were still staying within his range, if only milling about and sniffing at the ground or trees. Batman took a moment o appreciate the bizarreness of what had just happened before he turned and made to start walking back towards the castle.

Batman had to tell himself not to be surprised when the thestrals instead of leaving him to go his separate way, immediately made to follow him. The animals silently trotted up beside him on the grass that lined the edge of the grounds and started to once again huff and bob their heads at him, as if to get his attention. Batman did his best to ignore the creatures. He was not going to cave to the whims of some horses because they did not want him to leave. Truly, he did not need to be out here, or be distracted when he could be doing something productive.

Batman maneuvered quickly out of the way when one of the horses made to forcefully bump up against him. It was then that Batman was forced to stop when with a loud bray of frustration one of the horses trotted in front of him, preventing his movement forward. However before Batman could think of walking around the creature, it was lowering its front legs and had knelt on the ground, it also held its wings forward as to expose its back.

A quick look to the side and behind him to see that the remaining thestrals had blocked all possible paths of escape, and Batman resigned himself with a sigh. Being from the wealth as he was Batman knew what the horse wanted. It had lowered itself so that Bruce could easily mount it. Bruce supposed that if he were taken away from here to some death trap that at least it would be away from this insane school and their vaunted magic.

So it was with no other option that did not include fighting the four horses around him that Batman made to mount the thestral that had settled before him. The horse was thin, and as he sat on its near skeletal frame he was thankful for his armor to cushion his seat. He gripped the thestrals rib cage with his thighs as it rose up from the ground. And easily moved with it as it started to accelerate from a walk to a trot to a canter, and then with only one swift movement of its wings as warning, into flight.

Batman raised his eyebrows beneath his cowl when the thestral only seemed to be heading towards the castle. Once they were airborne it was seconds before the thestral had landed gently on the roof beside a window that Batman would be able to climb through to get back into the castle.

With a shake of its head and a huff the thestral lowered itself to its knees again to allow Bruce to dismount. Bruce did so in an easy motion and as the horse rose he gave the creature an affectionate pat. The horse bobbed its head as if to dismiss Bruce's thankful motion and with that it turned and pumped its wings to go join the other three of its herd still waiting at the edge of the forest.


	8. Chapter 8

AN:/ probably lots of mistakes, just warning you.

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**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter Eight

By: deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: April 5, 2013, 12:00AM_

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If there had been any question before, whether the Teachers at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were subject to any sort of regulation or mandatory teaching classes, if they had ever acquired a teaching license or were instructed in how to best properly control a classroom and to teach in a way that was engaging and professional, it was now abundantly obvious that the answer was in the negative.

"Pipe down everyone! Class is 'bout to start. I promise you won' wan' ter miss this!" Once more the students had firmly segregated themselves based on the color of their robes. It was starting to become sincerely annoying, the way that the children limited their social groups, and how the faculty seemed to encourage the segregation. In response to Hagrid's bellowing the conversation of the wandering teenagers outside of the grounds keeper's hut died down to soft whispering.

"Right then. Today we are going to be learnin' about Hippogriffs!" Hagrid turned slightly and presented the already visible Hippogriffs to the class. Batman, in the back of the group caught some of the Slytherin's jabbing each other and making fun of the teacher.

"_I had no clue. I'm so glad he told us or I never would have seen that one coming!" _Batman narrowed his eyes but allowed the slight, as it was not disturbing anything, and it was not disruptive. Further more, discipline was not his problem at this moment. Hagrid went on, ignorant to the teasing that was going on directly in front of him.

"Now, who can tell me about Hippogriffs? Hermione!" Before the giant had even finished his question a young lady in the front had her hand up and was wiggling it around as if she had something to say of the utmost importance. It hadn't escaped Batman's notice that none of the class had even attempted to raise their hands, even if it appeared as if they knew the answer.

"Hippogriffs are creatures with the head front legs and shoulders of an eagle, and the body and hind legs of a horse. They have steely beaks, orange eyes and deadly talons. Hippogriffs are proud and should only be approached with the Hippogriff's permission. Hippogriffs are required to have a disillusion charm cast on them every day by those how own them in order to avoid detection by muggels." Batman raised his eyebrow beneath the cowl at the recitation, as that is what it was. Batman had no doubt that the girl had only memorized a text, and did not take the time to comprehend what it might mean before she filed it away in memorization. Hagrid however could not have been more pleased with the answer.

"Excellent! Five points ter Gryphindor. I couldn' have said it better myself. Now, just like Hermione said, Hippogriffs are proud creatures. You don't never want to be on the wrong side of one. Hippogriffs are easily offended, so when you do see one you'd best treat it with respect. In order to get close to one, you have ter ask it. First thing you do when he notices yeh, is ter bow, real low like, but keep eye contact cuz they don't like anything shifty. Then, if he bows back ter yeh, you can go up and touch 'im. And if he don't, then run away as fast a yeh can cuz those talons will take yur arm off! Now, who wants to go first?"

All at once, the class took a very large step backward. All except for one boy in the front.

"Harry! Well come on then don' be shy!" Before Harry could explain himself or rejoin the group he was under the weight of Hagrid's large hands and behind guided/forcibly manhandled towards the post that the Hippogriff was tethered to. Batman narrowed his eyes and shifted himself along the shadows of the hut, and over into the tree line so that he would be in a more direct position to stop anything should it go amiss. By this point it was inevitable that it would.

"Now this little buet's name is Buckbeak. Go on say hello!" There were several giggles from the group some ten feet away, though neither Hagrid nor Harry seemed to notice. Instead harry looked up to Hagrid with disbelieving eyes and upon seeing the sincerity of the request in Hagrid's face, turned back to the Hippogriff.

"H-Hello Buckbeak." The Hippogriff lazily shifted its weight and settled its gaze on where Harry was standing not three feet from its beak. Hagrid gave Harry a ruff nudge to the back that nearly sent him to the ground as he fed the boy his next instruction.

"Quick now, Harry. Bow, real low. As low as you can manage. But don't break eye contact!" As Hagrid stepped back Harry looked to the creature and gulped before he shakily bowed at the waste. His eyes open wide, obviously doing their best to stay open and resist blinking or breaking eye contact in any way.

When a long moment passed and the Hippogriff had yet to bow in return Batman moved silently to the edge of the shadows of the forest, ready to spring. It was in that moment that the Hippogriff lowered its head and bowed one knee.

"Very good Harry, you can go up and touch 'im now if you like." The boy quickly gained confidence as he slowly rose with the Hippogriff and tentatively pet tis beak. The boy turned with a beaming smile back to Hagrid.

"This isn't bad at all." Hagrid let out a laugh as he walked forward now.

"Course not. I think you're about ready to ride 'im now."

"What-" Before Harry could get out any more protest than that he was being plucked from the ground and set on top of the Hippogriff and with a very firm swat to the hindquarters the Hippogriff was sent trotting off to fly around the castle.

Batman watched the boy go as he listened to the gasps of awe coming from the class. Hagrid beamed with pride at the seeming approval coming from his class. Harry's shouts of elation were audible as the Hippogriff floated over the lake and came back around to land with the sound of the solid impact of its hoofs and talons on the ground. The Hippogriff trotted to a halt before the class and Hagrid clapped, and plucked Harry off of the creatures back. He pulled a slab of steak from within his coat and threw it up in the air for the Hippogriff to catch.

"Good boy Buckbeak. Magnificent show Harry. You're a natural! Now does anyone else want to have a go?" This time the entire class looked egger to participate. They raised their hands and waved them around shouting 'please!' and 'me next!'

"I'll go. If Potter can do it, it can't be that hard." Draco Malfoy pushed to the front of the group but didn't stop there; instead he continued to march forward. He spoke to the Hippogriff.

"You're just a trained animal. You probably can't even understand what I'm saying. A big stupid pet for the oaf. You don't scare me."

"Get back!" Before Hagrid could even shift his weight to think about pushing Draco out of the way, Buckbeak had reared up on its hind legs its talons extended as it let itself fall towards Draco's terrified face and his raised arm.

Like a phantom Batman shot out of his resting place and stood in front of Draco, causing him to stumble back and fall on his rear with an umph. Now directly underneath the rearing front limbs Batman caught the ankles of Buckbeak's peddling claws as they came down.

In anticipation of the immense weight of the animal Batman allowed his body to coil and bend at the waist arms and knees as he allowed the creatures downward momentum. Just as Batman was about to be crushed he slid out from underneath the animal and abruptly stood up, maintain his grasp on the creatures feet.

Buckbeak's front half was abruptly twisted to the side and his fall was broken by his left shoulder, his hind quarters naturally followed. Batman let go and leapt away to a safe range. Draco had scrambled backwards as soon as he had fallen and was out of the way.

Hagrid was standing in front of all of the students his arms extended as a human shield. Batman did not move from his spot, still in the Hippogriff's line of sight, but away from the group of children. There were short screams as the Hippogriff huffed and started to move. It rocked back and forth to swing itself back upright before it stood. It immediately turned towards Batman. It let out a screech before it walked, not trotted or cantered, but walked over towards Batman's position. The creature never broke eye contact with him and Batman never did either. As the Hippogriff approached Batman rose out of his combat ready position of a low crouch, but kept his knees unlocked and his muscles coiled. The pace of the animal indicated that it did not want to fight. Batman had no desire to either so he communicated that with his body language, just as the Hippogriff was with his pace.

The Hippogriff slowed, as it got nearer from a walk to a slow shuffle Batman made no other move, as the creature got close. His kept his muscles tight, and still, a completely motionless black pillar. The Hippogriff huffed before it stopped directly in front of him. The creature slowly extended its head and gently bumped Batman's chest with its beak, breathing in deeply through its nose before he withdrew. The creature then took two steps backward before it lowered itself to its knees and bowed its head to the ground, its eyes locked on Batman's.

Ignoring the class of whispers and exasperated noises Batman thoroughly examined the Hippogriff, assessing its intent. The tension in the creature as Batman continued to ignore its bow was visibly building. It was not poised to attack, however, but flee if it met Batman's rejection as evidenced by its weight shifting back and away, rather than forward as time stretched on. Now certain of Buckbeak's intentions and anxieties, Batman bent neatly at the waste, just enough to be recognized as a bow.

Buckbeak gave one last dip of its head before it rose and walked the two steps towards Batman, now playfully nudging Batman's shoulders and attempting to get underneath Batman's cape. It was that moment that Batman was sure that Buckbeak had been spending time with the thestrals he'd met the night before. Unlike last night, however, he now had an audience and did not want to risk the reputation he was building. He gave the Hippogriff a low growl in his throat and a glare. That was all that was needed to get the creature to back off. It dipped its head before it walked back over to the post it had been tethered to before.

With Buckbeak under control Batman turned back to the rest of the class to be met with a crowd of open mouths and wide eyes, including Hagrid. Batman searched the group of students before he found the one he was looking for. Batman walked up to the group of students and stood in front of Hagrid, staring down at a blonde teenager who was hiding behind the giant's massive legs. Batman looked from Hagrid to Draco to make sure that it was clear he was addressing the both of them. Before he spoke alternating his gaze between the two.

"Where I come from, do you know what we call people who ignore danger?" Both Hagrid and Draco shook their heads. Batman waited a moment and glared at the two before he turned his back to them.

"Dead." With that Batman walked calmly back up to the castle, leaving a silent group of third years and a grounds keeper behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

AN:/ same deal probably lots of mistakes.

* * *

**Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic**

Chapter Nine

By:Deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: April 5, 2013, 12:03AM_

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"Would someone tell me why I'm doing this again?"

"No one is making you go Ron."

"And let you two go alone to get eaten by that bloody vampire? Not a chance!" Hermione huffed as she waited for Harry to get his cloak and the map out of his trunk.

"He can't be a Vampire because we saw him out in the daylight Ronald."

"Well he was covered head to foot with that bizarre cloak he wears he didn't have to be in the sunlight."

"His chin was uncovered."

"He could have put on some of that muggle sun repellent my dad was talking about this summer."

"Sunscreen wouldn't make a difference to a Vampire."

"He still could have-"

"Guys!" Both Ron and Hermione stopped to look at Harry who had moved towards the door, his shoulder missing and a map clutched in his hand, "Are you two going to keep bickering like an old married couple or come with me?" They both blush before the quickly went towards the door with Harry to go down to the common room.

"I still say we don't' have to do this." The cloak was swept over the three of them as they arranged themselves under it, a light under the cloak making sure they didn't trip over themselves.

"We've already decided this is the only way we're getting answers. We don't know if this guy is working for Voldemort," Harry rolled his eyes at the flinch, "Or Sirius Black, or even why Professor Dumbledore would let him in the castle. He's obviously important. There has to be something going on that we don't know. This is the best way to find out what it is." All talking ceased as the portrait of the Fat Lady swung open, causing the Fat Lady to stutter in her snoring for a moment before she settled back down. The three teenagers shuffled down the hallway before they settled into a rhythm that wouldn't have them stepping on each other's toes.

"_Which way are we going." _There was an exasperated _shh not so loud! _From Hermione before Harry got a chance to answer.

"_The map says he's in the Library. We'll find out what he's looking for. That will give us a clue what he wants for sure. Come on." _The trio shuffled along again. They heard Filch coming down a hallway with his loud footsteps and grumbling so they pressed themselves up against the wall until he passed. Luckily Mrs. Norris was nowhere around to give them away.

They continued on until the came up to the large double doors and slowly pried them open to get inside. The door was completely silent, the trio having known it would moan if opened too quickly. The only indication that the door opened at all was the air pressure equalizing itself with a small gust, fluttering the edges of the cloak that covered the trio.

Not two seconds later the draft of new air reached the back of the library, so diluted at that range that it was completely unnoticeable to even trained senses. However the two candles Batman had lit to read by, which had been completely steady in the stagnate air up to this point, both gave a single simultaneous flicker. Batman's eyes snapped up to the candles in the brief flux of light. He narrowed his eyes before he silently let the archived Newspaper he was reading fall to the table and he easily climbed up to the top of the Bookcases, up into the dark ceiling.

Batman gathered his cape so it would not hang over the edge of the bookcases and crouched as he walked along the planks of wood towards the doorway, intent on seeing whom his visitor was. In the silent room he could hear the faint attempts at stealth on the stone floors. The hard material amplifying the noise up to his ears. Batman honed in on the noise but as he moved closer, the soft steps abruptly stopped. Batman narrowed his eyes but continued to move forward slowly and scanned the aisle ahead of him.

When Batman had gone as far as he was sure he could track the noise from when it had been audible, he came to a halt and opened his ears. He instantly became aware of fearful breathing directly bellow him. Batman scowled. Invisible then. Normally Batman could turn on his thermal vision and the invisible nature of his assailant would be rendered impotent, however his thermal imaging lenses were something that ran on electricity and not available to him. His course of action now would be to wait for the intruder to reveal him or herself, or approximate their location to the best of his ability and incapacitate.

Batman did not know the motive of his visitor, so he opted to see if he could find out. He waited patently for any signs that the perpetrator to reveal himself or move. He didn't' have to wait long. It was at most two minutes before three teenagers had pulled some sort of fabric off of themselves. The source of the fearful breathing then became readily apparent, as well as two other teenagers. One he recognized as Harry Potter, the other, the girl who always answered questions with memorization.

"Where the bloody hell is he? It says he should be right on top of us!" The red head peered at the map Harry Potter was holding. The three looked up to the ceiling, Batman leaned away from the edge and wrapped himself in the black of his cape. Their eyes passed right over the shadows that Batman occupied before they were back to the piece of paper in Harry Potter's hand. The girl took the piece of paper from Harry and examined it.

"Do you think there is something wrong with the map?" Harry allowed the girl to examine the piece of paper as he shrugged his shoulders.

"I wouldn't know. We could ask Fred and George later, but even if it was I wouldn't' know how to fix it." The girl handed the map back to Harry who pocketed it before gathering the now visible cloak from the floor.

"Well what are we supposed to do now? Do we even know if he was here anymore?" Harry looked around before he fixed his gaze further down the isle at a corner.

"He might have been. I think I see a light coming from further that way. Come on, there might be something there." The trio walked none to silently down the aisle they were currently in and turned a corner, to go one isle over and down another isle. When they found the small table and the two candles their steps became quicker and surer. Batman followed them back to his table.

"Well?" the redhead was cautious to approach the table, still looking up at the bookcases.

"He's looking up stuff about Black. At least that's what it looks like. All of these are old, from twelve years ago when my parents died." The girl leaned over the table and looked through the papers.

"Why would he be looking up Sirius Black? If he were working with him wouldn't he already know all of this? Unless he's looking for something else." The girl invited herself to sit down at the table. The other two took her lead and sat themselves at the other two chairs surrounding the tables picking up Papers for themselves. Harry shifted through the papers as he spoke.

"If he doesn't know about Black he could be looking up this stuff to help. Then he could be on our side. We thought Snape was the bad guy and he ended up saving us." The read head rolled his eyes

"Barely."

"Ron!" The girl gave Ron a sharp swat with a folded Newspaper.

"Well he's still a greasy git!"

"He is a professor and he saved our lives!" Ron grumbled and flicked a paper up violently, obviously in disagreement but not willing to get into an argument right then. The three became silent for a moment. Batman patiently watched, still as the gargoyles he often perched from, and waited for something else to happen. It was another twenty minutes before Harry put the paper down.

"Hermione, I'm not seeing any thing else in common here. He obviously was just looking up things about Sirius Black. We still don't' know anything." Hermione put down her own paper.

"There has to be something here we can use. We're just not seeing it."

"No way!" Hermione and harry both turned to Ron who was looking at the paper in his hand with amazement.

"What!"

"What did you find?" Ron looked up before he folded the paper and turned it around.

"Can you believe this complete broom maintenance kit was only two galellaeons? And that is before the discount!" Both Hermione and Harry gave Ron a blank look. A blush rose to his cheeks as he turned the paper back to himself.

"Well it is a bloody steal. Not all of us are made of gold you know." Hermione sighed as she put down her paper.

"We aren't going to find anything else here tonight. I think its time for us to go. We must've been gone for at least an hour by now." Harry put his paper down as well.

"Okay, we'll figure this out another night. Come on Ron."

Batman watched as the trio started to move and decided that he had gotten all the information he was liable to get. Now it was time to dissuade them from their plans of following him again.

Batman allowed himself to fall from the edge of the bookcase. He grasped the edges of his cape as he fell to the floor, landing with only a whisper. The air from his dissent blew the candles out as he rose to a standing position.

"Bloody hell!" Ron recoiled his knees hitting the back of the chair and falling back into it with a scape and a thud. Harry and Hermione had bother drawn their wands, Ron doing so after he had picked himself back up. Batman didn't' flinch or make a move to draw his own in retaliation.

"Leaving so soon?" Harry regripped his wand and spoke with confidence.

"What do you want? Why are looking up Sirius Black?" Batman took a step forward, walking towards the table to put all of the newspapers into a neat stack to be returned to where he had gotten them. He walked into the midst of the three, brushing directly past Harry's outstretched arm still undaunted by the wands pointed at him.

"I'm not here to fight you." None of the wands went down. Batman collected the newspapers and picked them up. He turned to face the three, as he spoke.

"Don't follow me again, or you won't like what you find. You have no place in this." Batman turned to walk back down the isle and return the papers to where he found them.

"A mad man is loose and trying to murder me. He betrayed my parents and now he's coming for me! I deserve to know what's going on. It's my life at stake!" Batman didn't stop and instead continued to the end of the isle before he disappeared around the corner. Harry ran to the end to follow, Ron and Hermione following behind, but when they got there, Batman had vanished.

The trio made it without incident back to their dorms. Harry had singularly been focused on what had happened until he reached into his pocket and found it empty. His eyes widened and he checked all possible hideaways on his person before he turned to Ron who was looking at him like he was crazy.

"Ron, the map, its gone!"


End file.
